Serious Question about Seniors

[JB in so cal]

My Dad is 84 - his wife died in January and one of his sons died in July - yep, 2007 sux ass!!. We moved him into an active senior community and in a few short months he has lost track of time - actual "Is 4:00 PM too early to go to bed", or "breakfast as 3:00 am" type stuff. Thinks doctors offices are open at 5:00 AM.
we have him on anti depressants. He's seen all kinds of drs.
Anyone else go through this kind of shiat? It's killing me:(
Looking for ideas

[OutCole'd]

No ideas here john, but sorry to hear this. It's got to be tough on you.:(

[HocusPocus]

my wifes grandpa is 84 and is in the last stages of Alzheimer's... very sad to see him this way. :(

[new2cats]

I volunteer at our local senior center 3 days a week (Meals-on-wheels program)...It frickin' breaks my heart to see all the lonely old folks; everyone abandons them......stick by him and put up with all the craziness....the last thing you want is REGRET & GUILT. These 2 emotions always last forever!!!
Make him happy and try to get him to laugh....laughter creates endorphins (sp?) and that is nature's own Morphine, right.
Best of luck!

[XtrmWakeborder]

I volunteer at our local senior center 3 days a week (Meals-on-wheels program)...It frickin' breaks my heart to see all the lonely old folks; everyone abandons them......stick by him and put up with all the craziness....the last thing you want is REGRET & GUILT. These 2 emotions always last forever!!!
Make him happy and try to get him to laugh....laughter creates endorphins (sp?) and that is nature's own Morphine, right.
Best of luck!
I've got to agree here. God getting old is going to suck, but having loved ones around you has to make it a little better. I sure hope I have my loved ones around me when I go.:(

[Havasu1986]

My mom died in 94'. So my dad (84) just basically sat there in the house they bought in the mid 50's by himself when us kids weren't over. 3 years ago we convinced him to move into a senior home. He didn't want to go, but when he got there he is very happy. Gets 3 meals a day. Learned how to use the computer and has a lady freind now. They also have alot of activities also. :)

[Wavemaker]

Hello JB,
I am sorry to hear about your Dad's situation. Has he been diagnosed with Alzheimer's? Look into what prescriptions and meds he is taking, and check with the management of the senior care facility as to what dosages and frequency your Dad is recieving his meds. Look for signs of over medicating or keeping the residents " mildly sedated."
My Dad had Alzheimer's. mMy brother and I faithfully took care of Dad and looked out for him in every way possible. We had to remove him from a new Alzheimer's care facility when we heard the Chief Administrator of the facility suddenly quit and we noticed Dad's condition as sleeping more and more during the day and wide awake all night. We discovered the day shifts were short of qualified, licenced care staff. They were over medicating and the night shift would tell the residents "it's night time, you should go back to bed." The quality of meals turn worse, so we quickly found a better facility for Dad to reside in. We took care of Dad for nearly 14 years of Alzheimer's. I've been through all the stages and it really hurt when he could no longer come home to our house for visits over the weekends and holidays. Many trips of over an hour each way to visit him each weekend or sometimes a drop-by visit if I was in the area between sales appointments during my traveling sales visits to customers. Sometimes I would drop-in to see what was served for lunch, or dinner depending upon my window of opportunity. My brother did the same and took Dad to his doctor appointments, so he could hear Dad's responses to the Doctor's questions and provide correct information if Dad would not answer or give incorrect answers.
It's a hard and long path you are going along. My heart and thoughts go out to you and your Dad. Do yourself a big favor, and ask your Dad about as many things as you possibly can imagine you might what to know about or get answers about while your Dad has his "good days" with clear memories. As the stages of Alzheimer's progresses, he will not have the memories (or will be unable to convey his thoughts clearly) you may be asking about. Frequent visits and familiar things will help his memories. Be prepared, it really will hurt when Dad recognizes you but can no longer call you by name. My best thoughts go out to you and your family.

[JB in so cal]

One of my brothers lives close by; I live about 2 miles away - being with him is not an issue. He comes here; he goes to my bros, etc.
What the hard-to-take part is his losing track of "time". 2:00 in the morning for breakfast; dinner at noon - bed at 5:00PM...In a 7 day week, he's "out of sync" 3-4 days a week.
He used to be a pilot and was in the air force in WWII. He has always been spot-on; he always has had his shiznit together. This is just very tough to see him go through 'casue I know it's killin' him to not be in touch.
Thanks for everyone's input.

[JB in so cal]

Hello JB,
I am sorry to hear about your Dad's situation. Has he been diagnosed with Alzheimer's? Look into what prescriptions and meds he is taking. and check with the management of the senior care facility as to what doesages and frequency your Dad is recieving his meds. Look for signs of over medicating or keeping the residents " mildly sedated."
My Dad had Alzheimer's and my brother and I faithfully took care of Dad and looked out for him in every way possible. We had to remove him from a new Alzheimer's care facility when we heard the Chief Administrator of the facility suddenly quit and we noticed Dad's condition as sleeping more and more during the day and wide awake all night. We discovered the day shifts were short of qualified, licenced care staff. They were over medicating and the night shift would tell the residents "it's night time, you should go back to bed." We took care of Dad for nearly 14 years of Alzheimer's. I've been through all the stages and it really hurt when he could no longer come home to our house for visits for weekends and holidays. Many trips of over an hour each way to visit him each weekend or sometimes a drop-by visit if I was in the area between sales appointments during my traveling sales visits to customers. Sometimes I would drop-in to see what was served for lunch, or dinner depending upon my window of opportunity. My brother did the same and took Dad to his doctor appointments, so he could hear Dad's responses to the Doctor's questions and provide correct information if Dad would not answer or give incorrect answers.
It's a hard and long path you are going along. My heart and thoughts go out to you and your Dad. Do yourself a big favor, and ask your Dad about as many things as you possibly can imagine you might what to know about or get answers about while your Dad has his "good days" with clear memories. As Alzheimer's progresses, he will not have the memories (or will be unable to convey his thoughts clearly) you may be asking about. Frequent visits and familiar things will help his memories. Be prepared, it really will hurt when Dad recognizes you but can not longer call you by name. My best thoughts go out to you and your family.
We've had him tested for alzheimers- negative. I know what you're talking about, though. My Mom had dementia.

[Wavemaker]

Keep after the Doctor(s) for a diagnosis for his condition. My grandparents were told they had hardening of the arteries and dimentia. I'll bet it was Alzheimer's. Just back then, the medical folks called it something else.

[riverroyal]

let us know if you need anything.Ive never been through any of this stuff before.But knowing its killing you is painful for us.08' will be better.

[JB in so cal]

My brother and I rented a cessna 206 out of John Wayne for his b-day - the instructor never touched the controls - handled the radio calls - my dad nailed the landing. I would have never thought that 2 years later, he's going through what he is.
http://www.***boat.com/image_center/data/500/2271DSC00516.JPG

[riverroyal]

Ive never been in a plane that small.I think id shiat myself

[caroftheweek]

My Dad is 84 - his wife died in January and one of his sons died in July - yep, 2007 sux ass!!. We moved him into an active senior community and in a few short months he has lost track of time - actual "Is 4:00 PM too early to go to bed", or "breakfast as 3:00 am" type stuff. Thinks doctors offices are open at 5:00 AM.
we have him on anti depressants. He's seen all kinds of drs.
Anyone else go through this kind of shiat? It's killing me:(
Looking for ideas
Hey John,
It really sucks that this happens to people and I am sorry it is happening to your Dad. My Mom was diagnosed with dementia last year. She is only 53. It is really sad. She cannot change my son's diaper or do anything that is process-oriented. The really sad part is her young age and she is as healthy as a horse.
That is part of what led me to start my new business here in Prescott. My care home will be open on December 1st. My staff specializes in Alzheimer's residents. I am just trying to do my part to help out the families that are in need.
Ryan

[taxman]

I am very sorry to hear your situation. I myself have been dealing with my mother who has cancer and was in hospice and is now at home and I am her care giver 24/7 and I love the women more than life, but what really kills me is that I have two older brothers and one older sister that live only 15 to 20 minutes away and can not seem to even come by to see her but once a month and not even help with the bills and cost of taking care of her. I must say I have some pretty bad feelings for them and it takes everything not to beat them to death and I have to move her into a group home 2500.00 a month and her income is only 1000.00 a month so hear I am no help no income and burning all my savings. O.K. my venting is over I hope my brothers and sister die of the same causes with nobody to take care of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[taxman]

One more thing... I called my brother the other day and told him I need help and he mouthed off to me so I told him I was going to punch his mouth loose and he called the cops on me... what a pussy

[RVRGIRL]

That is really wonderful that you are opening a care home that specializes in Alzheimers patients. I work for a nursing home in Havasu and I deal with these types of residents mon-fri. It really takes a special person to do something like that. I love my job.. wouldn't trade it for the world. Its very rewarding.
Hey John,
It really sucks that this happens to people and I am sorry it is happening to your Dad. My Mom was diagnosed with dementia last year. She is only 53. It is really sad. She cannot change my son's diaper or do anything that is process-oriented. The really sad part is her young age and she is as healthy as a horse.
That is part of what led me to start my new business here in Prescott. My care home will be open on December 1st. My staff specializes in Alzheimer's residents. I am just trying to do my part to help out the families that are in need.
Ryan

[taxman]

Yes he did while I am with my mother taking care of her. I do not mean to hijack this thread but I needed to vent!!!!!!!!

[JB in so cal]

We try to act as one as a family - my dad is our primary focus right now. What's hard is that he is in a complex with hundreds of people in his same situation and he won't walk out the door to meet people or get involved in social settings. This is a man who has chaired numerous foundations and organizations, lead many a meeting, and was President of his pilot's group twice.

[BarryMac]

I'm really sorry to hear about your Dad John, someone mentioned to keep him laughing, knowing you the little bit that I do I don't think that will be a problem... :)
I will keep your Dad and your family in my thoughts...

[SB]

Yeah, watch the meds. Drs. can go overboard.
My dad and I cared for his mom in our home after her stroke, very demanding.
I've already talked to my dad about this. When he gets to that point, we will cease all meds and let him die naturally, no prolonging.

[Ziggy]

Geez John, been a rough year for you.:(
Some meds could be causing his mental lapses as a side effect for its intended purpose, I'd ask the doc to check levels in his blood to make sure its correct. I know my father is not the same person mentally after his bypass surgery, and the only difference is he's on meds now. He was sharp as a tack the day he went in and since has trouble remembering even some basic things he did on a daily basis. My father was VERY disoriented with his "internal timeclock" early on after the surgery and was until they adjusted some of his medications.
If you'd like, I can get my Rx brother to give you some info on all the meds your father is taking(and/or combination of those meds) and their associated side effects....see if there is anything there that might be contributing to his waining mental health...
I think I mentioned the other day how my father was calling me for some help cuz he had some dizziness and then later thought perhaps all he wanted was a visit......the more time you take for them the better they will feel. It's so true that as we grow old we become dependant again as if reverting to infant status...
Let us know if there's anything we can do to lend a hand.

[Ultra Blaine]

Geez John, been a rough year for you.:(
Some meds could be causing his mental lapses as a side effect for its intended purpose, I'd ask the doc to check levels in his blood to make sure its correct. My father was VERY disoriented with his "internal timeclock" early on after the surgery and was until they adjusted some of his medications.
.
We went through the exact same with our parents.
Stay close to the DR and ask for meds help and monitoring.
Their is help. It doesn't always have to be this way.
Communication with his DR is important.