Why did you have kids?

[whiteworks]

The threads about the teenagers issues got me thinking. why do most people have kids. Did it just happen? or did you intentionally throw yourselves under the train? I am at the age where all of my friends are reproducing, and I will be heading that way soon enough. boy do they look wore out, tired, beat down, aged, stressed, worried, bewildered well you get the idea. My poor aunt and uncle have 2 boys 16 and 19 and those kids gave them a run for there money. I look at them and remember the vibrant fun couple that they were before the kids wore them out:( it seems like quite a sacrifice in this day and age to raise a family. is it really that rough or am I just focusing on the negative?

[RitcheyRch]

It is tough. My opinion is that it seems as though the children of today think that everything is owed to them.

[BadKachina]

The good time have out weighed the bad times for me. We've done some really cool stuff together. Hunting, boating, camping, sports, he's generally been a good kid.
I wouldn't change it for the world. I think you get out of it what you put into it.;)

[boatsntoys]

Before I had kids , I couldn't imagine taking on the responsability, getting tied down, not living the "party" life anymore. I thought I would HATE it.
Now I wish I would have had them even earlier! It's the greatest thing that could ever happen to anyone! Never had anything or anyone that I loved and loved me so much. Total fulfillment of life.

[Kachina26]

Lost the remote for the TV and couldn't afford another TV (back before universal remotes), figured we'd have a kid so he could change the channels and whatnot. Worked out pretty nice.

[new2cats]

FIRST- I have 2 boys, 10 & 14..great kids..honest, good grades, fun, etc...BUT:
Having children is one of the MOST selfish acts in the World...simply put, does this planet really need more inhabitants??? There are tons of kids up for adoption all over the World.....is the natural urge to procreate so undeniable that we must all add to the pot????
Kids are selfish, tiring, irritating and drain you of your own youth and energy...some "bad" kids even drain the parents of their very soul..I have seen it.
HAVING SAID ALL THIS......I WOULD NOT CHANGE BEING A DAD FOR ANYTHING.....IT IS JUST GOD'S WAY.......SOME THINGS CANNOT BE EXPLAINED.....WHEN THEY LAUGH, YOU SMILE; WHEN THEY HURT, YOU WINCE; WHEN THEY CRY YOU SOB INSIDE; WHEN THEY ACHIEVE, YOU RELISH IN THE KUDOS; WHEN THEY LEAVE YOU MORN !!!!!
Figure out this mystery and you my friend have answered all the questions in the Universe!!!!-:idea:

[NashvilleBound]

We had a plan. We wanted two and that was about it. We wanted them while we were young unlike most of our friends..... now we are enjoying them (relevant term) and we have our freedom too. I'm 43 while my kids are 16 and 14. Its really good spacing.
Good friend of mine in SD is in his mid 39 and has a 3 yo and a newborn.
I just cant imagine being 50 having a 10yo at home.... being 60 and having a 20yo.... not that there is anything wrong with it... just seems like allot of years difference.

[thatguy]

Because my dad never had "the talk" with me.
That was just what we were supposed to do, marry your high school sweetheart, have 2.3 kids, get a house, struggle for years, then divorce and pay child support. I followed the plan to the letter!
Seriously though, My kids are all grown pretty much. My oldest is 25.
My stepkids moved in as teens, they are a different generation alltogether than my kids were at that age. Even though it is a small age gap.
Granted, they were parented much different than I raised mine.
Kids are great. It is a little sad when they grow up.
When I see less fortunate kids than mine it seriously breaks my heart to know that they are denied things that kids love. Not neccesarily material things, but things like the "tickle monster".
Tommy

[MBlaster]

I waited a long time to have kids. I wouldn't have minded being younger but I hadn't found right woman.
It really is a kick doing all the fun things we like to do with our boys.

[whiteworks]

I have never been one to jump off the bridge because all my friends did. it seems like there is a lot of bridge jumping going on around these parts with blatant disregard for the depth of the water. forgive me if I sound pessimistic on this subject but I am questioning what I see. seriously how will these kids be able to leave the nest and have a life of there own? will they be able to buy a home for themselves? what kind of future will these children be subjected to? Sure the wealthy will be afforded a wonderful life but what about Average Joe Smith?

[thatguy]

I have never been one to jump off the bridge because all my friends did. it seems like there is a lot of bridge jumping going on around these parts with blatant disregard for the depth of the water. forgive me if I sound pessimistic on this subject but I am questioning what I see. seriously how will these kids be able to leave the nest and have a life of there own? will they be able to buy a home for themselves? what kind of future will these children be subjected to? Sure the wealthy will be afforded a wonderful life but what about Average Joe Smith?
Easy, the wealthy will pay for them too!! :eek:
Tommy

[My Man's Sportin' Wood]

We had a plan. We wanted two and that was about it. We wanted them while we were young unlike most of our friends..... now we are enjoying them (relevant term) and we have our freedom too. I'm 43 while my kids are 16 and 14. Its really good spacing.
Good friend of mine in SD is in his mid 39 and has a 3 yo and a newborn.
I just cant imagine being 50 having a 10yo at home.... being 60 and having a 20yo.... not that there is anything wrong with it... just seems like allot of years difference.
The first one was "unplanned". I was on the pill and missed a day. OOOPS! We had only been married a year and a half. I'm glad the accident happened, though. Not just because she's a beautiful and strong young woman, but because, like NashvilleBound, I'm glad we did it while we were young. We were broke and couldn't do anything anyway. None of our friends had kids and they were out partying while we were at home with the babies. But . . . fast forward 15 years, my brother, his brother and our friends all have babies or toddlers or preschoolers. They can't go anywhere, can't find a sitter, or don't understand why we don't want to go to dinner with them and their babies :rolleyes: Our kids are self-sufficient, but when we take them somewhere, it's a lot more fun, now that they are older. Like our great 3 week vacation to Wyoming and Montana this past summer. Our friends can't do something like that and have a good time, or they can't afford it. Changing diapers and crying, bored kids are no fun on a road trip.
So, to answer the question, having children when we did wasn't part of the plan, but it all worked out for the best.

[rmarion]

cause my bride wanted them............ I'm 48 my, bride 45, oldest married @ 22, middle 21 (golf Pro), youngest 20 in college, at home, still finding himself.
I LOVED every minute of it when they were teenagers......coached every sport they played, went to every school function......
would I do it again........... like I told her 23 years ago, I don't want kids until we have enough $$$$ and we still don't have enough.......:D
BTW they cost more know than ever............:eek:

[42' johnny]

There is nothing better then children, they give more in return then anything you can buy, make or steal.
Those who do not have children can not understand.
I have four and would have ten if the factory did not close up.:sqeyes:
I am reminded each day, what a great desision it was to have children.
42

[OutCole'd]

Why did I have kids? Someone has to mow the lawns.
Honestly, it's been said perfectly here by many. Until you have them, it may not make sense, but as soon as you do, it makes all the sense. Everytime they look you into your eyes & tell you they love you, it makes it all worth it.

[FOXMAN]

FIRST- I have 2 boys, 10 & 14..great kids..honest, good grades, fun, etc...BUT:
Having children is one of the MOST selfish acts in the World...simply put, does this planet really need more inhabitants??? There are tons of kids up for adoption all over the World.....is the natural urge to procreate so undeniable that we must all add to the pot????
Kids are selfish, tiring, irritating and drain you of your own youth and energy...some "bad" kids even drain the parents of their very soul..I have seen it.
HAVING SAID ALL THIS......I WOULD NOT CHANGE BEING A DAD FOR ANYTHING.....IT IS JUST GOD'S WAY.......SOME THINGS CANNOT BE EXPLAINED.....WHEN THEY LAUGH, YOU SMILE; WHEN THEY HURT, YOU WINCE; WHEN THEY CRY YOU SOB INSIDE; WHEN THEY ACHIEVE, YOU RELISH IN THE KUDOS; WHEN THEY LEAVE YOU MORN !!!!!
Figure out this mystery and you my friend have answered all the questions in the Universe!!!!-:idea:
SELFISH,TIRING,AND IRRITATING?? NEWS FLASH.. YOUR children are what YOU raise them to be. If they are any of the above it is YOUR fault.I always wanted kids and didnt know when the "right" time was to have them.. None of them were actualy planned and i wouldnt trade them for anything in this world..

[Sleeper CP]

That's easy..... because the "boss" the one that wears the pants in the family told me she wanted them. NOW!
They are truely a blessing from God. The smile's they put on your face are
imeasureable:) We have an 11yr (girl) 8 yr( boy)
Sleeper CP
Big Inch Ford Lover

[Chico&Zeus]

Wife and I agreed long before we ever got married......DINKS 4 Life (Dual Income, NO KIDS!!!)
It's been great for us, we don't have any plans to change this anytime soon:D

[snake321]

Unfortunately, my son was born to a piece of garbage mother. He only lives 1 town away and I haven't seen him in 2 years.His growing up was 18 years of child support court and visitation hearings.Most times the mother just refused visitation and court NEVER helped the father.So what it amounted to was a lot of heartache and money and lawyers.I'm sure that his mother would kick him out if she found out if he came over here.I guess sometimes that it just doesn't work out.
My girlfriend has 2 kids that have been here for 5 years and they're a blast. It kinda worked out in the end...

[NashvilleBound]

You just don't get it. I'd just forget about it and let it go, doesn't sound like you have the temperment for raising kids.
I agree with Bob here... your post is very strange. Do you have kids? Ages? i have to ask... what kind of "bridge jumping" is going on? And the financial point....who's that aimed at?
Bob, this isnt your twin brother messing with us again is it????? :D :D :D

[whiteworks]

I agree with Bob here... your post is very strange. Do you have kids? Ages? i have to ask... what kind of "bridge jumping" is going on? And the financial point....who's that aimed at?
Bob, this isnt your twin brother messing with us again is it????? :D :D :D
No, I do not have kids. as far as the bridges that I speak of, basically all of our close friends have kids and are having more currently. I'm catching a lot of flack from friends, family and a very patient wife. (shit or shit, getting off the pot isn't an option:) ) I see all these younger couples late 20's and man do they look spread thin taking care of the little ones. the financial point is aimed at no one, I know how tough it is to do well, takes every thing Ive got. I cant help but think that it will only be tougher for future generations.

[NashvilleBound]

No, I do not have kids. as far as the bridges that I speak of, basically all of our close friends have kids and are having more currently. I'm catching a lot of flack from friends, family and a very patient wife. (shit or shit, getting off the pot isn't an option:) ) I see all these younger couples late 20's and man do they look spread thin taking care of the little ones. the financial point is aimed at no one, I know how tough it is to do well, takes every thing Ive got. I cant help but think that it will only be tougher for future generations.
Its never the "right time". If you wait for that you will be waiting forever. Its never easy either.... but you make it work. Because the joy and love for your children is unconditional.....
Dont let them give you flack....

[Kazanski]

No, I do not have kids. as far as the bridges that I speak of, basically all of our close friends have kids and are having more currently. I'm catching a lot of flack from friends, family and a very patient wife. (shit or shit, getting off the pot isn't an option:) ) I see all these younger couples late 20's and man do they look spread thin taking care of the little ones. the financial point is aimed at no one, I know how tough it is to do well, takes every thing Ive got. I cant help but think that it will only be tougher for future generations.
Honestly IMO....if your not willing to give it everything you've got, and you don't have to option of getting off the pot, you may have some trouble down the road. :(
If you want kids and you are just having a questionable moment, then I'm sure you'll do just fine, as everyone else has posting on this thread! :)

[2forcefull]

The threads about the teenagers issues got me thinking. why do most people have kids. Did it just happen? or did you intentionally throw yourselves under the train? I am at the age where all of my friends are reproducing, and I will be heading that way soon enough. boy do they look wore out, tired, beat down, aged, stressed, worried, bewildered well you get the idea. My poor aunt and uncle have 2 boys 16 and 19 and those kids gave them a run for there money. I look at them and remember the vibrant fun couple that they were before the kids wore them out:( it seems like quite a sacrifice in this day and age to raise a family. is it really that rough or am I just focusing on the negative?
people with kids can talk about raise'n kids and understand each other,
those that don't, don't

[FOXMAN]

FIRST- I have 2 boys, 10 & 14..great kids..honest, good grades, fun, etc...BUT:
Having children is one of the MOST selfish acts in the World...simply put, does this planet really need more inhabitants??? There are tons of kids up for adoption all over the World.....is the natural urge to procreate so undeniable that we must all add to the pot????
Kids are selfish, tiring, irritating and drain you of your own youth and energy...some "bad" kids even drain the parents of their very soul..I have seen it.
HAVING SAID ALL THIS......I WOULD NOT CHANGE BEING A DAD FOR ANYTHING.....IT IS JUST GOD'S WAY.......SOME THINGS CANNOT BE EXPLAINED.....WHEN THEY LAUGH, YOU SMILE; WHEN THEY HURT, YOU WINCE; WHEN THEY CRY YOU SOB INSIDE; WHEN THEY ACHIEVE, YOU RELISH IN THE KUDOS; WHEN THEY LEAVE YOU MORN !!!!!
Figure out this mystery and you my friend have answered all the questions in the Universe!!!!-:idea:
Selfish,tiring, irritating?? NEWS FLASH!! YOUR kids turn out the way YOU raise them.. If they are any of the above its YOUR fault. While i knew i wanted children, When is the "right time" ?? None of my were "planned" and i wouldnt trade them for anything..

[photo chick]

people with kids can talk about raise'n kids and understand each other,
those that don't, don't
Exactly.....which is why I've been reading this thread but not posting. I have no kids.....and have loved every minute of it! :D

[3 daytona`s]

The first one was "unplanned". I was on the pill and missed a day. OOOPS! We had only been married a year and a half. I'm glad the accident happened, though. Not just because she's a beautiful and strong young woman, but because, like NashvilleBound, I'm glad we did it while we were young. We were broke and couldn't do anything anyway. None of our friends had kids and they were out partying while we were at home with the babies. But . . . fast forward 15 years, my brother, his brother and our friends all have babies or toddlers or preschoolers. They can't go anywhere, can't find a sitter, or don't understand why we don't want to go to dinner with them and their babies :rolleyes: Our kids are self-sufficient, but when we take them somewhere, it's a lot more fun, now that they are older. Like our great 3 week vacation to Wyoming and Montana this past summer. Our friends can't do something like that and have a good time, or they can't afford it. Changing diapers and crying, bored kids are no fun on a road trip.
So, to answer the question, having children when we did wasn't part of the plan, but it all worked out for the best.
never believe they were an accident?

[FOXMAN]

Exactly.....which is why I've been reading this thread but not posting. I have no kids.....and have loved every minute of it! :D
I do think of when i was younger without children..And if i was given the chance to have it back???? NEVER, No matter what i could have had or been.. My youngest Jack just crawled up by me to see what i was doing.. I LOVE MY KIDS!!!:)

[3 daytona`s]

Exactly.....which is why I've been reading this thread but not posting. I have no kids.....and have loved every minute of it! :D
How`s Life:idea:

[IMPATIENT 1]

my kids are the answer to the question "why are we here?". i was put here to bring these amazing people into this world, it gives me drive and purpose;) i had a kid at 21, she wasn't planned and life got hard for awhile but she was no mistake, she made me a man and realize that I HAD TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY! we had the twins 3yrs later for her to have a little brother, she got 2:D almost drove me and my wife crazy and apart but we made it thru it stronger.

[new2cats]

SELFISH,TIRING,AND IRRITATING?? NEWS FLASH.. YOUR children are what YOU raise them to be. If they are any of the above it is YOUR fault.I always wanted kids and didnt know when the "right" time was to have them.. None of them were actualy planned and i wouldnt trade them for anything in this world..
I meant in general!!!! I am quite happy with both my boys...I assume you read my whole post...it was tongue-in-cheek!!!

[new2cats]

Selfish,tiring, irritating?? NEWS FLASH!! YOUR kids turn out the way YOU raise them.. If they are any of the above its YOUR fault. While i knew i wanted children, When is the "right time" ?? None of my were "planned" and i wouldnt trade them for anything..
By the way...if you do not admit that your kids have SOMETIMES been "selfish, tiring & irritating" you are a cold-stone liar....and every single honest parent knows this....I did not say kids were the spawn of Satan.....best to think your answers through a bit before you type an idiotic response!-:devil: :mad: :D

[photo chick]

How`s Life:idea:
Getting better and better everyday, thanks!! :D

[3 daytona`s]

Getting better and better everyday, thanks!! :D
:)

[Flyinbowtie]

We did the "drill" too.
Got education(s)
Married high school sweetheart(s)
Got job(s)
Bought house.
Per the conversation we had long before the ring went on her finger, we wanted two children.
First was born in '84.
Second was born in '88.
Together since 1976, married 28 years next spring, no divorce in sight.
Finding out after you are married that you don't want children might be a bit unfair to your spouse if he/she thought otherwise when you married.
But the truth is this; if you don't want to be a parent and are not one now, then you certainly should not bring a child into the world or adopt one. If you are not ready for the fiscal and emotional commitment required to give of yourself completely for a minimum of 18 years, and give a great deal of yourself for the rest of your life, then becoming a parent is not a good idea.
It sounds like it is still a choice for you.
The world does not need more children with un-committed parents.
It really sounds like some serious soul-searching conversation needs to take place between you and your spouse. To hell with your friends, and everyone else who is pressuring you. This is between two people, the potential mom and dad, period.

[Trailer Park Casanova]

I recently married into having a family,, again. That's why I have kids.
http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f18/tpc123/Alistoy059.jpg
Our seven year old is one of the best things that ever happened to us.
Bright, fun, fearless, hardworking,,, We love having kids around especially Maynard.
We're currently working on adopting a 7 year old girl from the Phillipines. She's a living doll. Tiny, cute, savvy,, a little firecracker.
I have an 18 year old son that is still a handfull, but stays out of trouble.
My beautiful daughter was a blast raising. I loved every minute.
She's totaled two cars and it's been a nailbiter at times, but a teriffic girl.
No regrets.
We'll always have kids in the house.

[jbtrailerjim]

The two best days of my life so far is watching the birth of my two boy's. If you don't have kids you'll never understand and there is just no way how to explain the feeling. Before I had kids, I never thought I could love someone so much. Yes, they're a lot of work and it requires an unbelievable amount of patience and commitment. But it is worth it and I wouldn't change it for the anything.

[voodoomedman]

I agree with the sentiment that no time is the right time. But I do think that you have to want kids and be ready. Almost everyone I see that has their first kid unplanned, out of wedlock etc. always have issues and ends up splitting or getting divorced. Life changes, to me it is for the better but if your not done with partying or sewing your wild oats then you may resent that you don't get to do that every weekend. We got married in Sept of 01 and our first son was born in March of 05. We wanted to first couple of years alone to build our marriage just the two of us. I cannot imagine life without my boys and do not know how we ever did without them. I am head over heels in love with my wife but my heart must have pulled and Grinch and grew three sizes in a day to make room for love for my first born. We seriously didn't know how there could possibly be room for another and then the instant we layed eyes on our second you really do feel all the extra love come into your heart. Like I said life changes because of the responsibility but we still have loads of fun. It is 4 times as fun now. Our boys have been on the boat since weeks old and I'm starting to teach my oldest to fish and they will learn to hunt. We camp and go on vacation and everything we did before kids. We just don't run to Vegas and get drunk every few weeks anymore but who cares. If we really need to so we can blow off some steam then we could go but I don't want to do it all the time. Besides children are good for making you feel better anyway. If you feel inferior one day for whatever reason you come home and their are your children excited to see you and they think you are a superhero or something. And you will never ever laugh as hard or as much as you will if you have children. Too me all that overshadows any of the tough times.

[Cigalert]

Since I recently dove into the baby pond I'll share my story. My wife got the bug first because all her friends were doing it. I didn't care who was doing what, we just weren't ready. About 4 years ago we finally started doing great financially and I didn't want to miss out on things because of a kid. I lived the party life for the past 12 years, my wife has worked every sat night for the past 6 years we've been together so every sat I went out, golfing 3-4 times per week, drinking at least 4 times a week, gym 4-5 days a week, ball games, strip clubs, going to vegas on a moments notice. I've pretty much gone and done whatever I've wanted whenever and never liked being tied down....you get the idea.
Last year my wife and I started talking about having children (she was 31 and I was 30) and I explained to her "you do know that they cry constantly and they'll wake you up at 3 am, stand at the foot of the bed and suddenly vomit on your legs?". She knew I enjoyed children just "other peoples" children.
July 19th of this year my life changed. The moment I saw her I started to cry, in front of my wifes friends and my family (my sisters haven't seen me tear up since jumping off the roof of the garage when I was 10). The big guy transformed into a little wuss as soon as I got to hold her. I haven't been to the gym since a week before my daughter was born. I'll drink a couple beers maybe once a week but only if my wife is home. My wife and I have only been out to dinner once. No matter how tired, cranky, upset I am I find myself willing to do whatever it takes to make sure my daughter is happy or at least content. You can make every excuse in the world and try to plan as best you can but it's never perfect. Diapers are exspensive but going out to dinner many times a week cost a lot more. Getting up at 11pm, 1 am, 2:30am, 3:15 am is tiring but not nearly as bad as going to work with a hangover. She's only 4 months old and is changing daily. I love having her around and couldn't imagine life without her.
The day we took delivery
http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g274/cigalert/Riley/Rileysfirstday.jpg
Just last week
http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g274/cigalert/Riley/Blanket.jpg
http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g274/cigalert/Riley/laugh.jpg
She's already changed so much in 4 months I can't wait to see how she's going to change over the years.