Euthansia/Assisted suicide: Have you faced it for a loved 1 ?

[Trailer Park Casanova]

There was a knock at the door a short while back, it was a relative from Europe.
Yeah,, he negotiated the US transit systems and made it to our house.
A awesome, teriffic guy. Fun and full of life.
He found a quack Doctor in Hollywood that would amputate his arthritic fingers.
The Doctors back in the UK all refused.
He drove pre-WW2 London Busses and WW2 Tanks in Africa with no power steering or syncro trannys and his fingers were shot,, the pain intense. I mean real brutal agony that morphine won't help pain.
So I drove him out for the proceedure, and he was happy he did it for the remaining 5 years of his life.
The pain was that bad.
Now,, another old relative is counting on us to help him die.
It's a tough situation, but his Parkisons and quality of life really sux.
He's a real drain on his kids, he's miserable and un-happy.
But,, what a cool character, A kinda person that would have never changed places with anyone,,, but he's through with life.
So were examining the LEGAL options.
Oregon it's legal,, but difficult.
Anyone else deal with this?

[new2cats]

There was a knock at the door a short while back, it was a relaitive from Europe.
Yeah,, he negotiated the US transit systems and made it to our house.
A awesome, teriffic guy. Fun and full of life.
He found a quack Doctor in Hollywood that would amputate his arthritic fingers.
The Doctors back in the UK all refused.
He drove pre-WW2 London Busses and WW2 Tanks in Africa with no power steering or syncro trannys and his fingers were shot,, the pain intense. I mean real brutal agony that morphine won't help pain.
So I drove him out for the proceedure, and he was happy he did it for the remaining 5 years of his life.
The pain was that bad.
Now,, another old relative is counting on us to help him die.
It's a tough situation, but his Parkisons and quality of life really sux.
He's a real drain on his kids, he's miserable and un-happy.
But,, what a cool character, A kinda person that would have never changed places with anyone,,, but he's through with life.
So were examining the LEGAL options.
Oregon it's legal,, but difficult.
Anyone else deal with this?
Wow...sorry you are facing such a hard subject..this hits close to home; my story (you asked for it):
January 2 years ago, my 56 year old mother (she was 17 when she had me and was the best friend of my wife & I...my Mom rocked!!) had a twitch in her eye.....a week later, I got a call from my stepfather that they went over the border from Phoenix to Mexico for a day on the beach and some fresh seafood......she had a siezure (thought it was a stroke) and could not talk.
He checked her into a Mexican clinic.....NIGHTMARE.....THAT STORY IS SELF EXPLANITORY....he finally drove her back to Phoenix (4-5 hours??) and I flew from Burbank to meet them at the house...she was talking slow and had a funny grin on her face!!! I looked at her and said "we were going to the ER and no arguing"..she said "I am fine"......4 x-rays, a cat scan and 2 huge tumors found in her brain...a few in her chest, adrenal gland, pancrease....WTF????? My Mom never even smoked (no cigarettes that is;) ). The oncologist gave her 6-8 weeks..WTF, she was fine last week. Doogie Howser (he was really young and looked 12) told me that the tumors were doubling every 10 days and that she would be paralyzed within a week....WTF..is this guy crazy???? Anyway, 1 week, right side, gone...next week, ability to speak, gone..next week her eyes could not focus.....we put her into a very nice Hospice facility. She made me promise that if she could not "shit, shower and eat" on her own, that I would help her "check out"....to make her happy and calm her nerves, I made that broken promise to her. OK, short of it was....we begged the hospice staff to help us; they said that although they could not kill her, they would administer as much narcotics as "necessary" to assist her in a smooth passing......they hit her with 10X the doses every 15 minutes as I held her hand...they dictated the day she would pass (Valentine's Day:( )....they were angels.
If your loved one is sick enough for full-time hospice care, make friends with the doctor and staff.....tell them your feelings..have you sick family member complete a "do not recessitate" order..have him make you the guardian....beg for mercy and they will deliver...hospice is run by real angels sent by God to do his work in our humble, human forum.
Hope this long-a$$ story helps..if not, it helped me!!!:D

[new2cats]

That was hard to read New2Cats. Sorry to hear about your loss. :(
Thanks...sorry it was so long...still fresh in the memory banks and I miss my Mom tremendously, especially at X-mas...they always stayed with us for a few weeks and we had a killer time. I shut down the biz for them each year and just sat at home cooking and getting fat with Mom & Pop.....worse yet, my stepfather(one of my favorite guys on the planet) went nuts from post traumatic stress disorder related to the rapid death of his beloved wife...he is in care for dimentia at 60 years old and has bad short term memory loss....just 4 years ago, this guy was lead engine builder at Rockwell/Boeing on the shuttle program...sh*t man..my F-in eyes are wellin' up.....losing loved ones really sucks!!!! :( :( :(
Well, back to the normal M-Fing everyone and talking trash, huh:D

[RitcheyRch]

Sad to read this thread. I could never imagine being put in that situation and wouldnt know how to react if was asked.

[ULTRA26 # 1]

Wow...sorry you are facing such a hard subject..this hits close to home; my story (you asked for it):
January 2 years ago, my 56 year old mother (she was 17 when she had me and was the best friend of my wife & I...my Mom rocked!!) had a twitch in her eye.....a week later, I got a call from my stepfather that they went over the border from Phoenix to Mexico for a day on the beach and some fresh seafood......she had a siezure (thought it was a stroke) and could not talk.
He checked her into a Mexican clinic.....NIGHTMARE.....THAT STORY IS SELF EXPLANITORY....he finally drove her back to Phoenix (4-5 hours??) and I flew from Burbank to meet them at the house...she was talking slow and had a funny grin on her face!!! I looked at her and said "we were going to the ER and no arguing"..she said "I am fine"......4 x-rays, a cat scan and 2 huge tumors found in her brain...a few in her chest, adrenal gland, pancrease....WTF????? My Mom never even smoked (no cigarettes that is;) ). The oncologist gave her 6-8 weeks..WTF, she was fine last week. Doogie Howser (he was really young and looked 12) told me that the tumors were doubling every 10 days and that she would be paralyzed within a week....WTF..is this guy crazy???? Anyway, 1 week, right side, gone...next week, ability to speak, gone..next week her eyes could not focus.....we put her into a very nice Hospice facility. She made me promise that if she could not "shit, shower and eat" on her own, that I would help her "check out"....to make her happy and calm her nerves, I made that broken promise to her. OK, short of it was....we begged the hospice staff to help us; they said that although they could not kill her, they would administer as much narcotics as "necessary" to assist her in a smooth passing......they hit her with 10X the doses every 15 minutes as I held her hand...they dictated the day she would pass (Valentine's Day:( )....they were angels.
If your loved one is sick enough for full-time hospice care, make friends with the doctor and staff.....tell them your feelings..have you sick family member complete a "do not recessitate" order..have him make you the guardian....beg for mercy and they will deliver...hospice is run by real angels sent by God to do his work in our humble, human forum.
Hope this long-a$$ story helps..if not, it helped me!!!:D
Sorry you had to experience this with your Mom at such a young age. Hospice can be very helpful at the end and morphine will help do the trick. My best friend was losing his Mom to cancer of the brain and he helped move it along with liquid morphine used as eye drops. While it can be difficult to assist, sometimes it is the right thing to do.

[fat rat]

I lost my Mom to a very slow death................she ended up in a halo where she died at 55............you never really get over it. I do miss her still 20 years later.

[Trailer Park Casanova]

I agree, ya never get over the loss of your Mom.
I still catch myself reaching for the phone to call her.

[Tremor Therapy]

TPC,
I hope I never get that call again. My dad was a 3 pack a day smoker, and he worked at Camp Pendleton as a boiler tender for 30 years....asbestos was everywhere back then. Well he developed prostate cancer, and they had to remove his prostate. Well on his 3 or 4 year check up they found he had developed serious lung cancer. Well he underwent the chemo for that, and he was actually in remission when they discovered a tumor on his brain stem. They discontinued chemo, and started radiation for the brain tumor. Fast forward 6 months, and his lung cancer is back, and he is too weak to fight it.
My dad was always larger than life to me at 6-5 and probably 325 lbs. his entire life, he really reminded me of what Paul Bunyan must have looked like. Well he was having a very difficult day breathing, and my mom called me home to help her take him to the hospital. So I went to his room, and picked him up and carried him to their car. All 6-5 of him at around 150 lbs.
When I left the hospital, I talked with the Oncologist, and we left with enough morphine to keep him comfortable, and we did until he passed. Now I have made the same promises to my mom, but I just don't know if I could go through this again. :(

[kap]

Wow...sorry you are facing such a hard subject..this hits close to home; my story (you asked for it):
January 2 years ago, my 56 year old mother (she was 17 when she had me and was the best friend of my wife & I...my Mom rocked!!) had a twitch in her eye.....a week later, I got a call from my stepfather that they went over the border from Phoenix to Mexico for a day on the beach and some fresh seafood......she had a siezure (thought it was a stroke) and could not talk.
He checked her into a Mexican clinic.....NIGHTMARE.....THAT STORY IS SELF EXPLANITORY....he finally drove her back to Phoenix (4-5 hours??) and I flew from Burbank to meet them at the house...she was talking slow and had a funny grin on her face!!! I looked at her and said "we were going to the ER and no arguing"..she said "I am fine"......4 x-rays, a cat scan and 2 huge tumors found in her brain...a few in her chest, adrenal gland, pancrease....WTF????? My Mom never even smoked (no cigarettes that is;) ). The oncologist gave her 6-8 weeks..WTF, she was fine last week. Doogie Howser (he was really young and looked 12) told me that the tumors were doubling every 10 days and that she would be paralyzed within a week....WTF..is this guy crazy???? Anyway, 1 week, right side, gone...next week, ability to speak, gone..next week her eyes could not focus.....we put her into a very nice Hospice facility. She made me promise that if she could not "shit, shower and eat" on her own, that I would help her "check out"....to make her happy and calm her nerves, I made that broken promise to her. OK, short of it was....we begged the hospice staff to help us; they said that although they could not kill her, they would administer as much narcotics as "necessary" to assist her in a smooth passing......they hit her with 10X the doses every 15 minutes as I held her hand...they dictated the day she would pass (Valentine's Day:( )....they were angels.
If your loved one is sick enough for full-time hospice care, make friends with the doctor and staff.....tell them your feelings..have you sick family member complete a "do not recessitate" order..have him make you the guardian....beg for mercy and they will deliver...hospice is run by real angels sent by God to do his work in our humble, human forum.
Hope this long-a$$ story helps..if not, it helped me!!!:D
______________________________
New2cats:
Thank you for sharing such an emotional and personal story of people at their best and providing valuable insight into what we call "HOPE".
In the sadness and loss you describe their is a positive message we call HOPE. During this holiday season and time of year it is important to reflect on the theme.
You described it perfectly----- some institutions will help you and be angels sent by God to do his work in human form.
Respectfully,
KAP
P.S. It helped me too :D .

[new2cats]

I agree, ya never get over the loss of your Mom.
I still catch myself reaching for the phone to call her.
Ditto, I still think...hey I gotta call Mom and tell her......then reality kicks in. Funny, I do not live with regret but I blew her off the phone and avoided stopping by her house for lunch (when she lived close) more times then I care to recall!!! What I would give for one more quiet lunch with her over a bowl of her oxtail soup....for all you folks with Moms and Dads still kickin', bite the bullet and make time for them...trust me, you will appreciate it later!
OH, by the way...thanks for all the kind thoughts...makes it worth typing so many words:)

[new2cats]

TPC,
I hope I never get that call again. My dad was a 3 pack a day smoker, and he worked at Camp Pendleton as a boiler tender for 30 years....asbestos was everywhere back then. Well he developed prostate cancer, and they had to remove his prostate. Well on his 3 or 4 year check up they found he had developed serious lung cancer. Well he underwent the chemo for that, and he was actually in remission when they discovered a tumor on his brain stem. They discontinued chemo, and started radiation for the brain tumor. Fast forward 6 months, and his lung cancer is back, and he is too weak to fight it.
My dad was always larger than life to me at 6-5 and probably 325 lbs. his entire life, he really reminded me of what Paul Bunyan must have looked like. Well he was having a very difficult day breathing, and my mom called me home to help her take him to the hospital. So I went to his room, and picked him up and carried him to their car. All 6-5 of him at around 150 lbs.
When I left the hospital, I talked with the Oncologist, and we left with enough morphine to keep him comfortable, and we did until he passed. Now I have made the same promises to my mom, but I just don't know if I could go through this again. :(
Thanks for sharing.....sad and too real....you have provided some great strength for your family; I am sure that they will call on you again for that gift and you will come forward to make it a smooth transition. I have found that once you have lived through something like this.....you are solid, strong, grounded and unwaivering!

[new2cats]

______________________________
New2cats:
Thank you for sharing such an emotional and personal story of people at their best and providing valuable insight into what we call "HOPE".
In the sadness and loss you describe their is a positive message we call HOPE. During this holiday season and time of year it is important to reflect on the theme.
You described it perfectly----- some institutions will help you and be angels sent by God to do his work in human form.
Respectfully,
KAP
P.S. It helped me too :D .
Thanks John:D

[Old Man Havasu]

My Mom had cancer 15 years ago that hit hard and fast. Thw nurse at the hospital was so cool. She said if you think your Mom is in pain tell me.
We had a last talk with Mom, she was in terrible pain. It made her face and body contort in awful ways. She was told she had 4 days to live at most. That was too long. The nurse came in every 30 minutes and we told her of Mom's pain. She passed peacefully later that night.
That nurse was an angel in disguise.....
Wish my Mom could have seen the birth of her grandson.

[new2cats]

My Mom had cancer 15 years ago that hit hard and fast. Thw nurse at the hospital was so cool. She said if you think your Mom is in pain tell me.
We had a last talk with Mom, she was in terrible pain. It made her face and body contort in awful ways. She was told she had 4 days to live at most. That was too long. The nurse came in every 30 minutes and we told her of Mom's pain. She passed peacefully later that night.
That nurse was an angel in disguise.....
Wish my Mom could have seen the birth of her grandson.
This is the same experience we had....some medical professionals really are in the "business" to help and not just for the paycheck; thanks for sharing!

[ULTRA26 # 1]

Ditto, I still think...hey I gotta call Mom and tell her......then reality kicks in. Funny, I do not live with regret but I blew her off the phone and avoided stopping by her house for lunch (when she lived close) more times then I care to recall!!! What I would give for one more quiet lunch with her over a bowl of her oxtail soup....for all you folks with Moms and Dads still kickin', bite the bullet and make time for them...trust me, you will appreciate it later!
OH, by the way...thanks for all the kind thoughts...makes it worth typing so many words:)
Great advice.

[new2cats]

Great advice.
Thanks..it is true

[ULTRA26 # 1]

Thanks..it is true
Without any doubt.

[taxman]

I am currently in my fourth month of taking care of my mother who has cancer and although she has been in the hospice unit twice she always seems to bounce back and she wants to come home to pass. I take care of her by myself for weeks at a time. She has days of crying and wishing to die and I feel very helpless and just try to love her and help her feel better but getting up twice a hour to go to the restroom and having me help her get back in bed does make her feel helpless also. I do not know what to do when she cries and wishes that she would just die. I find myself praying to god to take her and let her out of this misery. I have three older brothers and one older sister which all of them live in town except for one and he is the only one that gets on a plane and stays with mom so I can have a break. I am lost and sometimes feel like giving up. I feel as though a huge part of me is dying with her and I hope God will take her soon.
THIS IS THE HARDEST THING I HAVE EVER HAD TO DEAL WITH

[ULTRA26 # 1]

I am currently in my fourth month of taking care of my mother who has cancer and although she has been in the hospice unit twice she always seems to bounce back and she wants to come home to pass. I take care of her by myself for weeks at a time. She has days of crying and wishing to die and I feel very helpless and just try to love her and help her feel better but getting up twice a hour to go to the restroom and having me help her get back in bed does make her feel helpless also. I do not know what to do when she cries and wishes that she would just die. I find myself praying to god to take her and let her out of this misery. I have three older brothers and one older sister which all of them live in town except for one and he is the only one that gets on a plane and stays with mom so I can have a break. I am lost and sometimes feel like giving up. I feel as though a huge part of me is dying with her and I hope God will take her soon.
THIS IS THE HARDEST THING I HAVE EVER HAD TO DEAL WITH
Continue to be strong. You've done everything that you can and it seems to be out of your hands.

[new2cats]

I am currently in my fourth month of taking care of my mother who has cancer and although she has been in the hospice unit twice she always seems to bounce back and she wants to come home to pass. I take care of her by myself for weeks at a time. She has days of crying and wishing to die and I feel very helpless and just try to love her and help her feel better but getting up twice a hour to go to the restroom and having me help her get back in bed does make her feel helpless also. I do not know what to do when she cries and wishes that she would just die. I find myself praying to god to take her and let her out of this misery. I have three older brothers and one older sister which all of them live in town except for one and he is the only one that gets on a plane and stays with mom so I can have a break. I am lost and sometimes feel like giving up. I feel as though a huge part of me is dying with her and I hope God will take her soon.
THIS IS THE HARDEST THING I HAVE EVER HAD TO DEAL WITH
Man, do I hear you....I was the "strong one" and had to deal with everything....my Mom only lasted about 6 weeks from diagnosis. A blessing for us both. Do you want advice; I would assume you do. Get enough narcotic to keep her in a twilight sleep...this is as much for her as it is for you...why should she suffer in complete consciousness when she can be with God in her mind. Get the strongest (dilotid) or something similar...there are synthetic morphines that are 20x stronger....USE IT.....she wants your help to pass....be smart and do not go without the guidance of a nurse (legal reasons!). Hospice is much better for you both. After your Mom dies, she will be at peace and you will be left tired, sad, devastated, lonely, without purpose, etc.....hospice can solve this.
See if you can get into Hospice of the Valley, the old Senator Goldwater home (he raised his family there)..it is amazing....offer a donation so they will make room for your mother. She is in the throws of death and you MUST make decisions for her that make sense to you both. Although you want to satisfy her every wish...keep in mind, you still must live; now and AFTER the passing. My Mom went home and it was a nightmare for us all.....she was combative and angry as she went into complete psychosis with brain tumors!!! We "tricked" her into going to the hospice...in the end, she was at peace there, smiled and we were still left whole; not just shells of what we once were- grieving over our matriarch!!!
Just advice from someone who has lived it and has had time to reflect on it.
PM me if needed.
BB

[Flyinbowtie]

I went down the cancer road with my father when he wa 57 and I was 22.
Diagnosed Thanksgiving Day 1983, dead December 19th.
We did Hospice Care, and to this day my mother volunteers working in their Thrift Store in town.
I have other stories, as do we all.
I spent my career dealing with death. We were deputy coroners as well as deputy sheriff's. There are many truths being shared here.
Spend time with your family, listen to the elders and learn the oral history they have in their minds while you can. Life is so short, so precious, and knowing where we fit in the line is important.
Ross, my thoughts are with you and your family.
We can speak of durable power of attorney, etc., but I am sure you know all of that. Konwing you as I do, I am sure your family member will leave with dignity, and love.

[gqchris]

Ditto, I still think...hey I gotta call Mom and tell her......then reality kicks in. Funny, I do not live with regret but I blew her off the phone and avoided stopping by her house for lunch (when she lived close) more times then I care to recall!!! What I would give for one more quiet lunch with her over a bowl of her oxtail soup....for all you folks with Moms and Dads still kickin', bite the bullet and make time for them...trust me, you will appreciate it later!
OH, by the way...thanks for all the kind thoughts...makes it worth typing so many words:)
NEw2Cats, wow your story parallels mine in so many ways. I lost my mom in June of this year. I will be driving home and reach for my cell to call her to tell a story. Funny though how when she was here, I didnt do it enough!
My mom made it VERY clear to me that she was NOT to be put on life support for any reason ever in her life if she had no chance of it helping her. She told me this often, and I promised her every time I spoke with her, that I would never go against her wishes.
When she fell ill to pancreatic cancer, the surgeons said it was a routine surgery and she should be OK after it. Long story short, she never made it out of recovery or ICU. 3 weeks later, she was in so much pain and pretty much incoherent. My sister and I were the only siblings, and the Dr. told us that she either needed dialysis, which was 5% chance of working, or quit agressive treatment. I knew what to do. No questions. I told them to remove breathing tube and quit the madness. Everyone is right, the nurse was a BLESSING! I told my Dr. who was also real understanding, that I didnt want her to "suffocate" from not being intubated, and he assured me she wouldnt. Dr. ordered "pain killers", nurse pushed them, and within 15 minutes, Mom stopped being in pain. She looked better than she had in a whole month. I know in my heart that they both pushed her a load of morphine and I thank them every day. It was never spoken, but everyone knew. They will always be remebered for helping Mom.
Also, everyone please make sure you have your papers in order for parents. Living wills, Banking Affairs etc. It was a nightmare. We were trying to pay my moms bills after this dragged on and we almost had to try to get custody of her to get to the finances. Lord if I only knew what I do now.
Good luck guys, and especially us that its the first holidays without our parents:(

[new2cats]

NEw2Cats, wow your story parallels mine in so many ways. I lost my mom in June of this year. I will be driving home and reach for my cell to call her to tell a story. Funny though how when she was here, I didnt do it enough!
My mom made it VERY clear to me that she was NOT to be put on life support for any reason ever in her life if she had no chance of it helping her. She told me this often, and I promised her every time I spoke with her, that I would never go against her wishes.
When she fell ill to pancreatic cancer, the surgeons said it was a routine surgery and she should be OK after it. Long story short, she never made it out of recovery or ICU. 3 weeks later, she was in so much pain and pretty much incoherent. My sister and I were the only siblings, and the Dr. told us that she either needed dialysis, which was 5% chance of working, or quit agressive treatment. I knew what to do. No questions. I told them to remove breathing tube and quit the madness. Everyone is right, the nurse was a BLESSING! I told my Dr. who was also real understanding, that I didnt want her to "suffocate" from not being intubated, and he assured me she wouldnt. Dr. ordered "pain killers", nurse pushed them, and within 15 minutes, Mom stopped being in pain. She looked better than she had in a whole month. I know in my heart that they both pushed her a load of morphine and I thank them every day. It was never spoken, but everyone knew. They will always be remebered for helping Mom.
Also, everyone please make sure you have your papers in order for parents. Living wills, Banking Affairs etc. It was a nightmare. We were trying to pay my moms bills after this dragged on and we almost had to try to get custody of her to get to the finances. Lord if I only knew what I do now.
Good luck guys, and especially us that its the first holidays without our parents:(
Wow, tearful read!!! Thanks for sharing.....try to be philosphical (sp?) about it and believe that your Mom will be watching you and your family sitting by the tree and fire slurping cocoa.....I was not very spiritual when my Mom died but I found myself talking to her and looking up..... it just felt better!!!
Give extra hugs to those with you this season. Keep smiling through the tears bro.
Best-

[Flyinbowtie]

gqchris...
Your story sounds sorta like what the end was like for my father...
The biggest regret I have in life is that my wife didn't get pregnant 5 months earlier...
Dad missed seeing his first grandchild,(son) by 5 months...
He felt Chris kick inside Cindy, but never saw the boy that grew into the man that looks just like him.
Life is short, live it all. I have never talked to dying man that wished he had spent more time working.

[gqchris]

Wow, it is such a "relief", in search of a better word, to hear others stories and know that there are guys and gals just like me dealing with the same feelings/confusion/morning etc. They say it "gets better with time"? Havent gotten there yet. Does it come in waves for you? Ill just be driving, and boom, here it comes out of nowhere.
I can honestly now say, when someone loses a loved one, "I know what you are going thru".
I know this thread might be tough to read for some, but for me it is a blessing and helping hand. Keep strong guys. And keps the loved ones stories coming. They are here with us.
Chris

[taxman]

Yes this thread is helping me. I sit on my lap top all day sometimes just to escape what is going on with my mom. I am glad to hear that you guys are coping well with your loss and I will remain strong and give my mom all that I can because she did it for me.

[new2cats]

Wow, it is such a "relief", in search of a better word, to hear others stories and know that there are guys and gals just like me dealing with the same feelings/confusion/morning etc. They say it "gets better with time"? Havent gotten there yet. Does it come in waves for you? Ill just be driving, and boom, here it comes out of nowhere.
I can honestly now say, when someone loses a loved one, "I know what you are going thru".
I know this thread might be tough to read for some, but for me it is a blessing and helping hand. Keep strong guys. And keps the loved ones stories coming. They are here with us.
Chris
Yes, waves is a good description.....songs can be hard too...smells really turn on the "waterworks" for me and my Wife Nina.....it does get better at about the 2 year mark..you will only grieve occasionally and think of your Mom only a few times a week instead of many times each day!!! The "time heals all wounds" concept is really a gift that the mind affords us....thank God...can you imagine mourning the same way forever???
You will forget about her sickness and death and remember the fun, crazy, special times again...trust me!!!

[Flyinbowtie]

Chris, it will be 24 years this 12-19 that my Dad passed.
It does get easier with time. "Easier" is defined as the pain becomes numbed.
I was very, very close to my Dad, we were friends when he wasn't busy being Dad.
I am 49 now, and still find myself thinking of him often, trying to glean some wisdom from what he taught me. I have a '40 Ford Street rod he and I built, and it is priceless. I grew up in Long Beach, he worked in the Port of L.B. for 25 years. Machinist/heavy equipment repair.
Time numbs the pain. However, a certain song, or hearing a hot flathead, or catching Chris (my eldest son) with a far-off look on his face, well those things can bring him back almost to the point I can touch him.
For the first few years the intensity of those memories came with great pain. Now, I cherish each moment that I get with the memory, and try to immerse myself in it. My mom still lives in the house up here in NorCal that he built, I am on the bottom of the property. If I have anything to do with it these 11 acres we are sitting on will always have our name on the deed.