azgfboatgirl
12-23-2005, 07:36 AM
At New York's Kennedy International Airport earlier today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, protractor, set-square, slide rule and calculator.
Attorney general John Ashcroft believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.
He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a very fearsome cult indeed," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on a tangent in search of an absolute value. They consist of quite shadowy figures, with names like 'X' and 'Y,' and although they are frequently referred to as 'unknowns,' we know that they really belong to a common denominator and are part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
As the great Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."
Attorney general John Ashcroft believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.
He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a very fearsome cult indeed," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on a tangent in search of an absolute value. They consist of quite shadowy figures, with names like 'X' and 'Y,' and although they are frequently referred to as 'unknowns,' we know that they really belong to a common denominator and are part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
As the great Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."