Ms. AquaBoogie1
07-15-2003, 09:47 AM
Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Special Olympics?
>
>A: Not being retarded
>--------
>Q: What's blue and ****s old people?
>
>A: Hypothermia
>--------
>Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the
battered wives' shelter?
>
>A: The dishes if she knows what's good for her
>--------
>Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time
>
>A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
>-------
>Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
>
>A: Something a woman does while a guy is f*cking her.
>-------
>Q: What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in common?
>
>A: They don't ****ing listen.
>-------
>Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
>
>A: Gonorrhea
>-------
>Q: Why did God create yeast infections?
>
>A: So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating **** once in a while too.
>-------
>Q. How can you tell a macho woman?
>
>A. She rolls her own tampons.
>--------
>Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?
>
>A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.
>--------
>Q. What's the difference between acne and a Michael Jackson?
>
>A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13 years old.
>--------
>Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
>
>A. Marry it.
>---------
>Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
>
>A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
>--------
>Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
>
>A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.
>-------
>Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise &semen?
>
>A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at thirty miles an hour.
>-------
>Q. Why do women call it PMS?
>
>A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
>-------
>Q. What's a mixed feeling?
>
>A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.>
>-------
>Q. What's the height of conceit?
>
>A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
>-------
>Q. What's the definition of macho?
>
>A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
>------
>Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
>
>A. The cake jumps out of the girl.
>------
>Q. What's the difference between oral sex &anal sex?
>
>A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
>-------
>Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
>
>A. You know she'll swallow.
>-------
>Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same day in Iraq?
>
>A. They don't want to wear out the camel.
>-------
>Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
>
>A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
>---------
>Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
>
>A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
>--------
>Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is
> bedtime?
>
>A. When the big hand touches the little hand...
>-------
>Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
>
>A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.
>--------
>Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
>
>A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick.
>-------
>Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
>
>A. Because it's worth it.
>
>A: Not being retarded
>--------
>Q: What's blue and ****s old people?
>
>A: Hypothermia
>--------
>Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the
battered wives' shelter?
>
>A: The dishes if she knows what's good for her
>--------
>Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time
>
>A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
>-------
>Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
>
>A: Something a woman does while a guy is f*cking her.
>-------
>Q: What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in common?
>
>A: They don't ****ing listen.
>-------
>Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
>
>A: Gonorrhea
>-------
>Q: Why did God create yeast infections?
>
>A: So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating **** once in a while too.
>-------
>Q. How can you tell a macho woman?
>
>A. She rolls her own tampons.
>--------
>Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?
>
>A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.
>--------
>Q. What's the difference between acne and a Michael Jackson?
>
>A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13 years old.
>--------
>Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
>
>A. Marry it.
>---------
>Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
>
>A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
>--------
>Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
>
>A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.
>-------
>Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise &semen?
>
>A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at thirty miles an hour.
>-------
>Q. Why do women call it PMS?
>
>A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
>-------
>Q. What's a mixed feeling?
>
>A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.>
>-------
>Q. What's the height of conceit?
>
>A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
>-------
>Q. What's the definition of macho?
>
>A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
>------
>Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
>
>A. The cake jumps out of the girl.
>------
>Q. What's the difference between oral sex &anal sex?
>
>A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
>-------
>Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
>
>A. You know she'll swallow.
>-------
>Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same day in Iraq?
>
>A. They don't want to wear out the camel.
>-------
>Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
>
>A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
>---------
>Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
>
>A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
>--------
>Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is
> bedtime?
>
>A. When the big hand touches the little hand...
>-------
>Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
>
>A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.
>--------
>Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
>
>A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick.
>-------
>Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
>
>A. Because it's worth it.