My Name is Mud

[78Eliminator]

My name is Mud
Not to be confused with Bill or Jack or Pete or Dennis
My name is mud and it's always been
'Cause I'm the most boring sons-a-bitch you've ever seen
I dress in blue-yes navy blue
From head to toe I'm rather drab except my patent shoes
I make 'em shine, well most the time
'Cept today my feet are troddin' on by this friend of mine
Six foot two and rude as hell
I got to get him in the ground before he starts to smell
My name is Mud
My name is Mud, but call me Alowishus Devadander Abercrombie
That's long for Mud so I've been told
Told that by this sonsabitch that lies before me bloated blue and cold
I've got my pride, I drink my wine
I'd drink the finest except I haven't earned a dime in several months
Or were it years
The breath on that fat bastard could bring any man to tears
We had our words, a common spat
So I kissed him upside the cranium with an aluminum baseball bat
My name is Mud

[Tom Brown]

That's some high end catcher in the rye shit.

[VillainDave]

Maybe you should see your doctier and lie down on Ze couch and tell her of your child hood! pig_flyi

[carreraboat]

bad ass lyrics
bad ass band

[Jet Junk]

Sometimes bored and sometimes lonely
Pimple faced and rather homely
He wasn't much for socializin'
The TV kept a mesmerizin'
In one ear and out the other
Picked up a trick from his older brother
Got him a can of sniffin' sauce
Pinned his mind up on a cross
Lacquer head knows but one desire
Lacquer head sets his skull on fire
Lacquer head knows no in betweens
Huffin' on bags of gasoline
Sniffin' paint since the seventh grade
She was high on gin and gatorade
On turpentine she lost her luck
Fell in front of a speeding pick-up truck
He was a boy of soft demeanor
And he loved his carburetor cleaner
The vapor made a sweet aroma
He sniffed himself into a coma
Lacquer head feeds his one desire
Lacquer head sets his brain on fire
Lacquer head knows no in betweens
Huffin' on bags of gasoline
Keep on sniffin' till yer brain goes pop

[Cole]

And you know mud spelled backwards is....... :confused: Cole

[ROZ]

Not bad, but this is better. :cool:
Jerry was a race car driver
And he drove so goddamned fast
He never did win no checkered flag
But he never did come in last
Jerry was a race car driver
He'd say "El solo number one"
With a bocephus sticker
On his 442 he'd light 'em up
Just for fun
Captain Pierce was a fireman
Richmond engine #3
I'll be a wealthy man when I get
A dime for all the things that
Man taught to me
Captain Pierce was a strong man
Strong as any man alive
It stuck in his craw that they
Made him retire at the age of 65
Jerry was a race car driver
22 years old
Had too many cold beers one night
And wrapped himself around a telephone pole.

[ROZ]

Jet Junk,
That would be Laquer head off Antipop, right?
[ March 21, 2003, 04:22 PM: Message edited by: ROZ ]

[GlastronGuy]

Now Wynona took her big brown beaver,
And she stuck him up in the air.
Said "I sure do love this big brown beaver
And I wish I did have a pair."
Now the beaver onces slept for seven days
And it gave us all an awful fright.
So I tickled his chin and I gave him a pinch
And the bastard tried to bite me.

[sorry dog]

All polar bears are left handed.
Ants have five noses.
The universe is about 12,000 million years old.
Alfred Nobel, the man who began the Nobel Peace Prizes, invented dynamite.
In Microsoft Word, the shutter on the disk is the wrong way round.
The heads side on a penny weighs slightly more (so it's not 50/50)
The housefly hums in the middle octave, key of F.
If your eyes are six feet above the surface of the ocean, the horizon will be about three statute miles away.
The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. The only other word with the same amount of letters is its plural, pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconioses.
Hydroxydesoxycorticosterone and hydroxydeoxycorticosterones are the largest anagrams.
Los Angeles' full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula."
Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.
Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.
Cleo and Caesar were the early stage names of Cher and Sonny Bono.
The company providing the liability insurance for the Republican National Convention in San Diego is the same firm that insured the maiden voyage of the RMS Titanic.
Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
Dr. Samuel A. Mudd was the physician who set the leg of Lincoln's assassin, John Wilkes Booth... and whose shame created the expression for ignominy, "His name is Mudd."
The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.
The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin during World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
Wilma Flintstone's maiden name was Wilma Slaghoopal, and Betty Rubble's maiden name was Betty Jean McBricker.
A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
The Rameses brand condom is named after the great pharaoh Rameses II who fathered over 160 children.
If NASA sent birds into space they would soon die, they need gravity to swallow.
Duelling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life."
It was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw up. The frog throws up its stomach first, so the stomach is dangling out of its mouth. Then the frog uses its forearms to dig out all of the stomach's contents and then swallows the stomach back down again.
Armored knights raised their visors to identify themselves when they rode past their king. This custom has become the modern military salute.
White Out was invented by the mother of Mike Nesmith (formerly of the Monkees)
Sylvia Miles had the shortest performance ever nominated for an Oscar with "Midnight Cowboy." Her entire role lasted only six minutes.
Charles Lindbergh took only four sandwiches with him on his famous transatlantic flight.
Goethe couldn't stand the sound of barking dogs and could only write if he had an apple rotting in the drawer of his desk.
Gilligan of Gilligan's Island had a first name that was only used once, on the never-aired pilot show. His first name was Willy. The skipper's real name on Gilligan's Island is Jonas Grumby. It was mentioned once in the first episode on their radio's newscast about the wreck.
In England, the Speaker of the House (in the Houses of Parliament) is not allowed to speak.
Playing cards were issued to British pilots in WWII. If captured, they could be soaked in water and unfolded to reveal a map for escape.
Ivory bar soap floating was a mistake. They had been overmixing the soap formula causing excess air bubbles that made it float. Customers wrote and told how much they loved that it floated, and it has floated ever since.
Studies show that if a cat falls off the seventh floor of a building it has about thirty percent less chance of surviving than a cat that falls off the twentieth floor. It supposedly takes about eight floors for the cat to realize what is occurring, relax and correct itself.
Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks otherwise it will digest itself.
The Sanskrit word for "war" means "desire for more cows."
A walla-walla scene is one where extras pretend to be talking in the background -- when they say "walla-walla" it looks like they are actually talking.
The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
101 Dalmatians, Peter Pan and Lady And The Tramp are the only Disney cartoon features with both parents that are present and don't die throughout the movie (Wendy's parents in Peter Pan, Mr and Mrs Darling in 101 Dalmatians, with the seemingly unnamed couple in Lady)
'Stewardesses' is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand, if using the touch- typing method.
The Baby Ruth candy bar was actually named after Grover Cleveland's baby daughter, Ruth.
Armadillos have four babies at a time and they are always all the same sex.
Armadillos are the only animal besides humans that can get leprosy.
To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, push your thumbs into its eyeballs -- it will let you go instantly.
Reindeer like to eat bananas.
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
'Strengths' is the only nine-letter word with only one vowel.
A group of unicorns is called a blessing.
Twelve or more cows are known as a "flink."
A group of frogs is called an army.
A group of rhinos is called a crash.
A group of kangaroos is called a mob.
A group of whales is called a pod.
A group of geese is called a gaggle.
A group of ravens is called a murder.
A group of officers is called a mess.
A group of larks is called an exaltation.
A group of owls is called a parliament.
Physicist Murray Gell-Mann named the sub-atomic particles known as quarks for a random line in James Joyce, "Three quarks for Muster Mark!"
Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
The phrase "sleep tight" derives from the fact that early mattresses were filled with straw and held up with rope stretched across the bedframe. A tight sleep was a comfortable sleep.
"Three dog night" (attributed to Australian Aborigines) came about because on especially cold nights these nomadic people needed three dogs (dingos, actually) to keep from freezing.
The term vaccine is derived from the Latin for cow (vacca) when injecting someone with cowpox was discovered to prevent the deadlier smallpox.
'Underground' is the longest word where the first three letters and the last three letters are the same.
The song 'Bohemian Rhapsody' by Queen was the first song to go to number 1 in the UK charts, and then return to number 1 on a second occasion (first in December 1975, then in December 1991, over Christmas both times)
China has more English speakers than the United States.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
If you break wind consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
The average human eats eight bugs or spiders in their lifetime while sleeping.
The Pentagon in Arlington, VA, has twice as many bathrooms as necessary. When it was built in the 1940's, the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.
Lyme Disease is named after Lyme Connecticut where it was first recognized in 1975, NOT the fruit. The nickname Limey was applied to the English sailors who were routinely supplied with limes to prevent scurvy.
The dot over the letter "i" is called a Tittle.
The Dead Sea is the lowest point on Earth.
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma.
Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquitos sensors so they don't know you're there.
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.
Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 10 metres.
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.
Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.
The king of hearts [in a typical pack of playing cards] is the only king without a moustache.
A Boeing 747's wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
Banging your head against a wall burns 150 calories an hour.
Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.
The first owner of the Marlboro Company [which makes cigarettes] died of lung cancer.
Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
All US Presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn't like being seen wearing them in public.
Walt Disney was afraid of mice.
Pearls melt in vinegar.
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by decapitating the male.
Richard Millhouse Nixon was the first US president whose name contains all the letters from the word "criminal." The second? William Jefferson Clinton.
Turtles can breathe through their posteriors.
The shortest pangram (phrase with all letters of the alphabet in) in English is normally accepted to be "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog." The French equivalent is "Allez porter ce vieux whisky au juge blond qui fume un Havane" which means, "Go bring this old whisky to the blond judge smoking a Havana [cigar]."
Yelling for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days would generate enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes!
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. The equivalent is like a human jumping the length of a football field.
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
A cat's urine glows under a black light.

[sorry dog]

so RD are you a blood donor??

[cyclone]

best concert i ever attended was Primus at the Hammerstein Ballroom in NYC..man those guys rock!les claypool rules.

[Jet Junk]

ROZ:
Jet Junk,
That would be Laquer head off Antipop, right? correct

[Froggystyle]

Why do we do this C.G. and I?
Every night vegetables,
Minds numbed up by THC.
I've got my pen, C.G. the remote.
Laurel and Hardy's the best bet at four A.M. On a Friday
No dreads about the working day after though.
Funny thing about weekends When you're unemployed.
They don't quite mean so much,
except you get to hang out with all youur working friends.
Well we got us a spegetti western on 36.
I like spegetti westerns
I like the way the boots are all reverbed out
walking across the hardwood floors.
In fact, everything's got
that big reverb sound.
Well what'll I do now?
Go to sleep.
Pull the pud.
We need new pornos.
Well, I guess I'm still writing...

[skeepwerkzaz]

:D