FMluvswater
11-02-2002, 09:38 PM
Excerpts from an inner argument I had with myself lying awake one night after reading Men's Rules. A particular item messed with the fabric of my comfy lil universe and I got no peace until I wrote it out. Still no resolution but at least it ain't rattling in my brain anymore.
~FM :)
Note to self: Men can fake whole relationships.
Realistic Self: You do know that you'll conveniently forget that truth, right?
Naive Self: No, I won't. Nothing to forget for the simple fact it isn't even true. It's just a joke.
RS: Now you're telling one, right?
NS: Well, even if it was a little bit true the operative word in that sentence is 'can'. It has to be a very rare thing for a man to do.
RS: No, you're missing the point- the operative word in that sentence is 'fake', as in you'd never catch on until it was too late, if ever. Can we say snowjob?
NS: That can't be right. Why would any man ever do that? Men like women. They would never purposely deceive us.
RS: Duh! Why do you think? Men are self-serving, manipulative, arrogant, smart, horny, sex fiends. They will do whatever it takes to get them some.
NS: Don't think that! Maybe they are initially attracted to something on the outside but they do look deeper and they do care and they fall in love with women just like we fall in love with them. They are human you know.
RS: Human? At birth until puberty maybe. After that they are a whole other species honey. Calculating, unscrupulous, and greedy hunters- women are merely their prey.
NS: Stop it! They are not! They are so still human! You're making them seem cold and souless and they aren't! They have heart and soul! I know they do! The greatest love songs and love poems ever written were written by men!
RS: Yeah, they were likely all gay, honey.
NS: Gasp! No they weren't! Quit thinking stuff like that! Sharing feelings is not gay- it's only human!
RS: Please refer back to my second to last thought on that score.
NS: Okay if they become another species at puberty, then do we stop being human too? Well, do we?
RS: Duh! Yes! We have to or they'd overpower us. We have to get sneaky and tough. We have to be on our guard constantly. We have to control them. We have to play the game with them.
NS: I think you're crazy. I don't think there is any game. We're all just people. What you're thinking is paranoid. Men are not out to hurt us and if we're out to control them that makes us the bad guys. I don't want to be the bad guy. I want to be nice to them. When we're nice to them it makes them so happy. They smile at us. That means they like us.
RS: You silly little twit! They don't smile because they are happy or because they like women- they're laughing at us because we're so easily duped. A few well placed compliments, pretty trinkets and intense, sexually-charged looks and we get all giggly and stupid and eager to please. It's pathetic.
NS: How can you believe everything they do is fake and a lie?
RS: How can you believe anything they say is true?
NS: Because it's my job as a woman to believe what men say and to trust them. I want to believe them! Men are inherently good! I just know they are!
RS: Yeah that sort of thinking is what gets us hurt.
NS: No, your sort of thinking is what chases them away! Men are not out to hurt us! They want to protect us and take care of us! They are brave and strong and reliable and... and ... they need us.
RS: They only need parts of women- the warm, wet, tight, hole parts and the nipply parts. That's about it. Even then, sometimes they'd rather not if they know they'll have to deal with our more unpleasant parts like oh say our opinions!
NS: Now you're just being vulgar and bitchy.
RS: Now you're just being delusional and twitty.
NS: So you hate them then? All of them?
RS: Whoa! Hold up! I never said that! I like men! Hell, I love men! I'm just saying we women have to be careful and even a little suspicious- always!
NS: Seems to me if you expect the worst you'll get the worst.
RS: No, if you expect the worst anything better than that is a nice surprise.
NS: Cynic much?
RS: Dreamer much?
NS: Meanie.
RS: Dummy.
NS: I think I don't like you very much. You're a spoilsport. I think men are wonderful! I don't have to mind you, you know!
RS: But you should.
NS: Well, I won't! Men make me feel all happy inside. I like their strong muscular bodies and the way they look after us and help us when we can't reach stuff or lift stuff. I like the way they do things to make us smile and let us hide our eyes in their shoulders at the scary parts of movies.
RS: You fall for that crap? It's phony. It's all to further their own agendas. If we can't reach something we can stand on a chair. If we can't lift something we can reduce the package or push it or pull it or find some other way to move it. If we're wanting to hide our eyes during a scary movie why even watch it at all?
NS: Strong muscular bodies. Did you miss that part?
RS: Oh. Right. Okay score one for little miss naive. A-ha! but the making us smile bit? That is entirely unintentional- women are just easily amused when men are near is all. We get a little stupid in the presence of hot, manly, hunks of burning testosterone.
NS: It is so intentional! They're trying to impress us and they are very good at it! I'm not stupid- I'm very discerning! And If you're so easily amused it just proves my point!
RS: I am not so easily amused!
NS: I noticed. You're no fun at all. All seriousness and doom and gloom. At least men know how to have fun!
RS: That's what I'm trying to get through to you! It's all just a fun game to them! It isn't serious! The only part they take seriously is whether or not they win the game! To win is to get laid or blown!
NS: Ignoramus! I know sometimes it's just sex but sometimes it is serious and sometimes it means just as much to them as it does to us! Men can and do make love only they don't like to broadcast it because it's private and special.
RS: Stubborn foolish girl. No such thing as making love. It's all use or be used. When will you learn?
NS: Never. Because you are wrong. Men have deep thoughts and feelings ...
RS: If they're gay!
NS: Quit it! Being sensitive is not exclusive to women and gay men!
RS: Yeah right! Sell it to someone who's buying!
NS: You're complaining that they aren't sensitive enough and yet you're saying if they are sensitive they must be gay so really you don't want them to be sensitive anyway, right? So why complain that they are insensitive? Why not just accept them as is?
RS: I do! You're the one in denial about their true nature! You're the one who refuses to believe they can fake whole relationships!
NS: What? No! Why would any man ever do that?
RS: Hello? Am I the only one getting this? Weren't you paying attention?
NS: Nope. I was busy thinking about something else.
RS: Which was what?
NS: I was just wondering whether men prefer long nails or short nails on women.
RS: Oh, for frig sakes you air head, I doubt they care either way! I'm trying to impart some wisdom on you! Would you pay attention! They fake whole relationships!
NS: I don't want to think about that. Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalala!
RS: Ostrich.
NS: Vicious worry wart.
RS: I'm telling you men are not to be trusted.
NS: Gong! Wrong answer! Men are honorable, heroic and trustworthy! They're charming and funny, and fascinating and intoxicating ...
RS: You mean intoxicated. It's called beer.
NS: lalalalalala ... and they're affectionate ...
RS: I'm pretty sure it's called grabby ...
NS: ... and they keep us safe ...
RS: ... but hate wearing them ...
NS: ... and they generate lots of heat on cold nights ...
RS: ... via natural gas ...
NS: ... and their skin feels so good when it rubs against ours ...
RS: gulp
NS: ... and they have such agile fingers and tongues ...
RS: Okay enough! Fine! Have it your way. Let me know when it's time to pick up the pieces of your shattered dreams. Silly little twit.
NS: :D I win. I love men! Men are amazing and cool!
RS: We'll see about that. Jury's still out.
NS: I'm not minding you cuz you're being pessimistic!
RS: No I'm not. I'm being realistic.
NS: Same diff.
RS: You're being painfully naive.
NS: No I'm not. I'm being optimistic.
RS: What you thought at me, two previous? Right back at you.
Note #2 to self: Please remember original note to self even when inconvenient.
NS: But ...
RS: Hush!
NS: :p
RS: :rolleyes:
Corroboration and/or refuting is welcome. Really.
~FM :)
Note to self: Men can fake whole relationships.
Realistic Self: You do know that you'll conveniently forget that truth, right?
Naive Self: No, I won't. Nothing to forget for the simple fact it isn't even true. It's just a joke.
RS: Now you're telling one, right?
NS: Well, even if it was a little bit true the operative word in that sentence is 'can'. It has to be a very rare thing for a man to do.
RS: No, you're missing the point- the operative word in that sentence is 'fake', as in you'd never catch on until it was too late, if ever. Can we say snowjob?
NS: That can't be right. Why would any man ever do that? Men like women. They would never purposely deceive us.
RS: Duh! Why do you think? Men are self-serving, manipulative, arrogant, smart, horny, sex fiends. They will do whatever it takes to get them some.
NS: Don't think that! Maybe they are initially attracted to something on the outside but they do look deeper and they do care and they fall in love with women just like we fall in love with them. They are human you know.
RS: Human? At birth until puberty maybe. After that they are a whole other species honey. Calculating, unscrupulous, and greedy hunters- women are merely their prey.
NS: Stop it! They are not! They are so still human! You're making them seem cold and souless and they aren't! They have heart and soul! I know they do! The greatest love songs and love poems ever written were written by men!
RS: Yeah, they were likely all gay, honey.
NS: Gasp! No they weren't! Quit thinking stuff like that! Sharing feelings is not gay- it's only human!
RS: Please refer back to my second to last thought on that score.
NS: Okay if they become another species at puberty, then do we stop being human too? Well, do we?
RS: Duh! Yes! We have to or they'd overpower us. We have to get sneaky and tough. We have to be on our guard constantly. We have to control them. We have to play the game with them.
NS: I think you're crazy. I don't think there is any game. We're all just people. What you're thinking is paranoid. Men are not out to hurt us and if we're out to control them that makes us the bad guys. I don't want to be the bad guy. I want to be nice to them. When we're nice to them it makes them so happy. They smile at us. That means they like us.
RS: You silly little twit! They don't smile because they are happy or because they like women- they're laughing at us because we're so easily duped. A few well placed compliments, pretty trinkets and intense, sexually-charged looks and we get all giggly and stupid and eager to please. It's pathetic.
NS: How can you believe everything they do is fake and a lie?
RS: How can you believe anything they say is true?
NS: Because it's my job as a woman to believe what men say and to trust them. I want to believe them! Men are inherently good! I just know they are!
RS: Yeah that sort of thinking is what gets us hurt.
NS: No, your sort of thinking is what chases them away! Men are not out to hurt us! They want to protect us and take care of us! They are brave and strong and reliable and... and ... they need us.
RS: They only need parts of women- the warm, wet, tight, hole parts and the nipply parts. That's about it. Even then, sometimes they'd rather not if they know they'll have to deal with our more unpleasant parts like oh say our opinions!
NS: Now you're just being vulgar and bitchy.
RS: Now you're just being delusional and twitty.
NS: So you hate them then? All of them?
RS: Whoa! Hold up! I never said that! I like men! Hell, I love men! I'm just saying we women have to be careful and even a little suspicious- always!
NS: Seems to me if you expect the worst you'll get the worst.
RS: No, if you expect the worst anything better than that is a nice surprise.
NS: Cynic much?
RS: Dreamer much?
NS: Meanie.
RS: Dummy.
NS: I think I don't like you very much. You're a spoilsport. I think men are wonderful! I don't have to mind you, you know!
RS: But you should.
NS: Well, I won't! Men make me feel all happy inside. I like their strong muscular bodies and the way they look after us and help us when we can't reach stuff or lift stuff. I like the way they do things to make us smile and let us hide our eyes in their shoulders at the scary parts of movies.
RS: You fall for that crap? It's phony. It's all to further their own agendas. If we can't reach something we can stand on a chair. If we can't lift something we can reduce the package or push it or pull it or find some other way to move it. If we're wanting to hide our eyes during a scary movie why even watch it at all?
NS: Strong muscular bodies. Did you miss that part?
RS: Oh. Right. Okay score one for little miss naive. A-ha! but the making us smile bit? That is entirely unintentional- women are just easily amused when men are near is all. We get a little stupid in the presence of hot, manly, hunks of burning testosterone.
NS: It is so intentional! They're trying to impress us and they are very good at it! I'm not stupid- I'm very discerning! And If you're so easily amused it just proves my point!
RS: I am not so easily amused!
NS: I noticed. You're no fun at all. All seriousness and doom and gloom. At least men know how to have fun!
RS: That's what I'm trying to get through to you! It's all just a fun game to them! It isn't serious! The only part they take seriously is whether or not they win the game! To win is to get laid or blown!
NS: Ignoramus! I know sometimes it's just sex but sometimes it is serious and sometimes it means just as much to them as it does to us! Men can and do make love only they don't like to broadcast it because it's private and special.
RS: Stubborn foolish girl. No such thing as making love. It's all use or be used. When will you learn?
NS: Never. Because you are wrong. Men have deep thoughts and feelings ...
RS: If they're gay!
NS: Quit it! Being sensitive is not exclusive to women and gay men!
RS: Yeah right! Sell it to someone who's buying!
NS: You're complaining that they aren't sensitive enough and yet you're saying if they are sensitive they must be gay so really you don't want them to be sensitive anyway, right? So why complain that they are insensitive? Why not just accept them as is?
RS: I do! You're the one in denial about their true nature! You're the one who refuses to believe they can fake whole relationships!
NS: What? No! Why would any man ever do that?
RS: Hello? Am I the only one getting this? Weren't you paying attention?
NS: Nope. I was busy thinking about something else.
RS: Which was what?
NS: I was just wondering whether men prefer long nails or short nails on women.
RS: Oh, for frig sakes you air head, I doubt they care either way! I'm trying to impart some wisdom on you! Would you pay attention! They fake whole relationships!
NS: I don't want to think about that. Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalala!
RS: Ostrich.
NS: Vicious worry wart.
RS: I'm telling you men are not to be trusted.
NS: Gong! Wrong answer! Men are honorable, heroic and trustworthy! They're charming and funny, and fascinating and intoxicating ...
RS: You mean intoxicated. It's called beer.
NS: lalalalalala ... and they're affectionate ...
RS: I'm pretty sure it's called grabby ...
NS: ... and they keep us safe ...
RS: ... but hate wearing them ...
NS: ... and they generate lots of heat on cold nights ...
RS: ... via natural gas ...
NS: ... and their skin feels so good when it rubs against ours ...
RS: gulp
NS: ... and they have such agile fingers and tongues ...
RS: Okay enough! Fine! Have it your way. Let me know when it's time to pick up the pieces of your shattered dreams. Silly little twit.
NS: :D I win. I love men! Men are amazing and cool!
RS: We'll see about that. Jury's still out.
NS: I'm not minding you cuz you're being pessimistic!
RS: No I'm not. I'm being realistic.
NS: Same diff.
RS: You're being painfully naive.
NS: No I'm not. I'm being optimistic.
RS: What you thought at me, two previous? Right back at you.
Note #2 to self: Please remember original note to self even when inconvenient.
NS: But ...
RS: Hush!
NS: :p
RS: :rolleyes:
Corroboration and/or refuting is welcome. Really.