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FMluvswater
08-09-2003, 04:48 PM
Okay so this other board I frequent has this official flaming thread where this man and woman have been exchanging the most hilarious insults I've ever read ... It starts out with some Shakespeare stuff but it does get back to regular English. The thread is still active so let me know if you want me to update with more when they pick up the exchange again. :)
Man: Oh, by the way... Your proctologist called, He found your head.
Woman:You're wife called; she said she'd return your balls later tonight.
Man:Thou art a boil, a plague sore, an embossed carbuncle in my corrupted blood
If you spend word for word with me, I shall make your wit bankrupt.
Woman: Come, you are a tedious fool. To the purpose. You shall stifle in your own report, and smell of calumny.
Man: Why, thou full dish of fool
Thou art like the harpy, which, to betray, dost with thine angels face, seize with thine eagle's talons
Woman: Thou whoreson mandrake, thou art fitter to be worn in my cap than to wait at my heels.
Man: Why, thou clay brained guts, thou knotty pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow catch
Woman: Thou paunchy, rude growing ratsbane!
Man: Hang cur, hang, you whoreson, insolent noisemaker
You are not worth another word, else I'd call you knave
Woman: Thou art a superficial, ignorant, unweighing fellow.
Man: OK, OK, enough Shakespeare!
You really should find something else to do. I heard there was a village in need of an idiot. You should apply.
Woman: I did, but they told me that you'd had the job for years. Besides, I didn't meet their
qualifications...my IQ is about 100 points above 25.
Man: If you're going to say something that stupid you could at least fake a stroke.
Woman: Are you always this stupid, or are you making a special effort today?
Man: Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge but it looks as if you just gargled.
Woman: Did you ever wonder what life would have been like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?
Man: If what you don't know can't hurt you, you're practically invulnerable.
Woman: If brains were electricity, you wouldn't have enough power to light the bulb in a lightning bug's ass.
Man: A thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.
Woman: You should get a glass belly button, that way when your head goes further up your ass you can still look out and see what's happening in the world.
Man: Why don't you take a piggy back ride on a buzz saw?
Woman: Why don't you stop flapping that pie hole of a mouth on your face so I can see what a gibbering, witless gimp actually looks like?
Man: Do all your friends wear hockey helmets and go on a lot of field trips?
Woman: No, but I'm sure you and your friends enjoying the special "short" bus they send for you every morning.
*****************NEXT DAY*****************
Man: Ok Woman, ready for round two?
(I won't have much time today to cross swords... err... tongues... no that's not right... wits, yeah, that's it, wits with you. So my posts will be few and far between... kind of like your thoughts.)
As for your last comment:
If I wanted to hear from a dullard, I'll slap you on the back of the head and wake up that little peg legged hamster that operates the drool-powered waterwheel of thought in there.
Woman: Oh, ouch! LMAO! *sniff sniff sniff* I smell some rubber burning...and it's coming from your side of the board. All that you are you owe your parents. Why don't you send them a penny to square the account?
Man: I bet you're really happy you crawled out of your hole to say that.
As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
Woman: That's so funny coming from you!
You know, I don't think you're a fool...but what's my humble opinion against thousands of others?
Man: You're less useful than a parachute on a submarine.
Go fart peas at the moon!
Woman: Someone told me you weren't fit to sleep with pigs. I stuck up for the pigs.
Man: Try this maneuver: Take 50-60 paces backwards. Take several deep breaths. Sprint forward at full speed doing a triple summersault through the air, and disappear up your own asshole.
Woman: You're nobody's fool. Let's see if we can find someone to adopt you.
Man: If ignorance was bliss, than your entire life would be a perpetual orgasm.
Woman: Oh, you're getting good at these. Careful, don't let your brains go to your head.
You know something I realized...
You're as slow as a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
Man: I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.
Woman: When you go to a mind reader, do you get half price?
Man: I am truly sickened by the fact that due to some grand joke on someone else's part I am forced to have to share oxygen with you.
Woman: I see you left. Darn! I was just about to poison the tea.
One for the road:
I bet you got your brain at the end of season sale at the cerberal department.
Okay, seriously, I am impressed. You know so little, but you know it so fluently.****
velocity stack

Infomaniac
08-09-2003, 09:30 PM
Wow !! All of that on a pet forum?
Sounds like the same person to me.
It was very funny.
If it disturbs you - I bet I know how to get it off of your mind.
All a matter of perspective (or view) :p :p

FMluvswater
08-10-2003, 02:15 AM
Infomaniac:
Wow !! All of that on a pet forum?
Sounds like the same person to me.
It was very funny.
If it disturbs you - I bet I know how to get it off of your mind.
All a matter of perspective (or view) :p :p Pet forum? Huh? It was at a soap forum. :)
I swear, Info, it was two different people (I didn't post their screen names here)- I was there when they were rapid posting their replies to each other! It was quite entertaining. :D
I'm kind of curious about the 'get it off my mind' comment. eek! wink :)
****
full throttle

Infomaniac
08-10-2003, 07:10 AM
FMluvswaterbabe:
Infomaniac:
Wow !! All of that on a pet forum?
Sounds like the same person to me.
It was very funny.
If it disturbs you - I bet I know how to get it off of your mind.
All a matter of perspective (or view) :p :p I'm kind of curious about the 'get it off my mind' comment. eek! wink :)
****
full throttle Same offer as posted on the Barney Board. :p :p :p Lost forever looks like. Cannot get back on.
Like to watch boat races? Here you go. Snowman vs Infomaniac (http://members.cox.net/infomaniac/Snowman.mpg)
[ August 10, 2003, 08:12 AM: Message edited by: Infomaniac ]

clownpuncher
08-10-2003, 07:27 AM
Infomaniac:
FMluvswaterbabe:
Infomaniac:
Wow !! All of that on a pet forum?
Sounds like the same person to me.
It was very funny.
If it disturbs you - I bet I know how to get it off of your mind.
All a matter of perspective (or view) :p :p I'm kind of curious about the 'get it off my mind' comment. eek! wink :)
****
full throttle Same offer as posted on the Barney Board. :p :p :p Lost forever looks like. Cannot get back on.
Like to watch boat races? Here you go. Snowman vs Infomaniac (http://members.cox.net/infomaniac/Snowman.mpg) That was way cool.

spectratoad
08-10-2003, 08:33 AM
That conversation sounds like the makings for great sex. :D

FMluvswater
08-10-2003, 12:03 PM
Infomaniac:
FMluvswaterbabe:
Originally posted by Infomaniac:
I'm kind of curious about the 'get it off my mind' comment. eek! wink :)
****
full throttle Same offer as posted on the Barney Board. :p :p Lost forever looks like. Cannot get back on.
Like to watch boat races? Here you go. Snowman vs Infomaniac (http://members.cox.net/infomaniac/Snowman.mpg) Oh. I could pretend to still not know what you're talking about ... but I won't. wink As I said before- what a tease. :)
Love the vid, Info!! That was so cool! Saved it to my hard drive. Now I can
re-watch it whenever I want without having to search for this thread. :D
****
rocker-trunnion

Infomaniac
08-10-2003, 07:48 PM
You liked that one FMluvswaterbabe? I have many more.
I will tease you with them one at a time.
This one is driving with one hand and holding the camera with the other.
Crazy Okie (http://members.cox.net/infomaniac/run2.mpg)
Does it excite you? That avatar sure looks like a nipple.
[ August 10, 2003, 08:50 PM: Message edited by: Infomaniac ]

FMluvswater
08-10-2003, 10:01 PM
Infomaniac:
You liked that one FMluvswaterbabe? I have many more.
I will tease you with them one at a time.
This one is driving with one hand and holding the camera with the other.
Crazy Okie (http://members.cox.net/infomaniac/run2.mpg)
Does it excite you? That avatar sure looks like a nipple. You have many more? We should get along just fine then because I want more. :)
Of course it excited me. You knew it would. I saved it. :) So my avatar looks like a nipple to you? Hmmm. Looks like water to me. wink :)
You're gonna turn me into an Infomaniac vid junkie ... I hope. :)
****
cam lobe

Infomaniac
08-11-2003, 06:14 AM
You want more sweetie?
How about a gang race:
5 Boat Wide Drag Race (http://members.cox.net/crazyokie/5wide.mpg)

FMluvswater
08-11-2003, 06:19 AM
Actually hon I have that one already. :) I watch it at least once a week! :) Even my 6 year old son likes it. :) One thing I can't tell from the angle of the camera- which boat won? It looked damn close.
****
outer spring

Infomaniac
08-11-2003, 07:27 AM
Well the infomaniac won naturally. On the far outside. It was not even close.
Speaking of son, this one is my favorite. If you have seen it I will try again.
Video 3 (http://members.cox.net/shotglass/face.mpg)

Boozer
08-11-2003, 07:44 AM
Info your cougar has got one hell of a hole shot. Do all V-Drives hold up to that kind of power?

FMluvswater
08-11-2003, 09:08 AM
Infomaniac:
Well the infomaniac won naturally. On the far outside. It was not even close.
Speaking of son, this one is my favorite. If you have seen it I will try again.
Video 3 (http://members.cox.net/shotglass/face.mpg) I should have figured you won the race ha ha ha why else would you post it? wink I couldn't tell which one was yours before though so thanks for telling me that much. :)
Yep, I have seen that one of your son. :) I think maybe I was already an Infomaniac vid junkie lol. If you posted a vid ever before I've likely seen it. :)
Not that I mind watching 'em all again. :) I still want more, please, Info. :)
****
over-propped

Infomaniac
08-11-2003, 05:07 PM
Boozer: they hold up to a lot of power.
Sweetie: here is one more. It starts off slow and builds up to multiple climax.
***VIDEO*** (http://marineassault.net/Ride.mpg)
[ August 11, 2003, 06:08 PM: Message edited by: Infomaniac ]

FMluvswater
08-11-2003, 10:29 PM
LOL! You have such a way with words Info! wink :)
Waiting for it to download 11:14 PM ... 11:20 PM okay gonna watch it ...
Oh have mercy!! That was best one yet!! Face hurts from grinning and my heart is still racing madly!! Damn that was exciting! Have you got more like that? I feel the need for speed! :D
Thanks for posting the vids Info. :) They are all great. :)
****
octane booster

Infomaniac
08-12-2003, 06:14 AM
Too much forplay in that last one.
How about a quickie?
Blast Video (http://members.cox.net/shotglass/Blast.mpg)

Ziggy
08-12-2003, 01:33 PM
spectratoad:
That conversation sounds like the makings for great sex. :D Or the beginning(or end for that matter) of a marraige.

FMluvswater
08-12-2003, 02:10 PM
Ziggy:
spectratoad:
That conversation sounds like the makings for great sex. :D Or the beginning(or end for that matter) of a marraige. Much of the traded insults reminded me of Shakespeare's The Taming Of The Shrew. I don't recall exact quotes from his plays so for all I know they could have been direct quotes.
I keep checking for updates and so far nothing.
I have reason to believe the man and woman in question are indeed married and that they do this sort of thing to let off steam and for fun. Fine by me! :D I find it so highly entertaining- particularly because I know it's all in fun. :)
Info- haven't watched the vid yet (been listening to music) but I'm going to watch it right now. :)
****
exhaust seats

FMluvswater
08-12-2003, 02:24 PM
Infomaniac:
Too much forplay in that last one.
How about a quickie?
Blast Video (http://members.cox.net/shotglass/Blast.mpg) Uhh too much? No such thing. wink
Oh okay quickies are good sometimes too. :)
Hey I've seen that one already ... I think it was one of the first ones I ever watched. It's good, though! I do like it. It's just I liked the other one better. :) Thanks for the 'fix' Info. wink :) If you've got more; I want more. I always want more. :)
****
retorque