Dontcha just hate.....

[Blown 472]

Wet farts.
Dogs with their noses in your crotch.

[Tom Brown]

I get a great deal of pleasure from both of those happenings.

[superV]

Ya they are always licking my nuts! :D

[Sleek-Jet]

... warm beer from the liquor store. :mad:

[Tom Brown]

I hate it when I dream that I've got a strangulating hernia and wake up in a cold sweat to find that my underwear has bisected my nuts.

[PussyPusher]

Taking a crap just to find out there is no toilet paper!

[HCS]

Jet Skies.

[CA Stu]

Being in bed with three women, and the ugly one saying "Mmm, save it for me..."
CA Stu :D

[Blown 472]

Tom Brown:
I hate it when I dream that I've got a strangulating hernia and wake up in a cold sweat to find that my underwear has bisected my nuts. That is some funny shit. :D

[PussyPusher]

ugly lesbians

[NOCTURNAL]

FAT CHICKS WEARING A THONG - KEEP THE CHEESE UNDER WRAPS

[Ziggy]

...when you get your windsheild full of lucusts on Rice road

[fear the turtle]

- people who fart in gyms. Total bullshit. Nothing worse than being short of breath on a treadmill and getting your lungs inundated with someone's rotten colon.
- The inability to complain about your waiter before your food arrives because you are scared he is going to **** with your meal if you tell the truth about how shitty he is doing. On the flip side, the sheer terror of being at dinner with someone who doesn't care about pissing off the waiter and now your food stands in saliva limbo.
- Justin Timberlake- too easy to pop off on, but I can't stand this ****.
-that Brittany and Christina won't have a centerfold competition? I have an open bet with a friend as to who appears in Playboy first. It looked like Christina was going to win this by a land slide and make me some cash, and then brittany has to have it all unfold and get crazy. I'd bet on brittney now. She is definitely no longer a virgin, she likes cocaine (alledgedly), has no talent, and after her next album flops she'll need the pub. I also have an even money bet Pink will be the first of the female singers to die of an overdose. I have my money on the leadsinger of the Vines on the men's side.
- people who pick their ****ing noses at the urinal? Seriously, what happens? Every time you go to the urinal check the walls around it (shoulder-high), they'll be at least 2-3 fresh ones hanging there. Who does this? Come clean!
- why doesn't Dave Groehl get more attention? The Foo Fighters are a good band and he is the 'Puff Daddy' of rock. Plus, he is funny as shit. he should be more famous, pass the word.
- Alyssa Milano ****ed Justin Timberlake. I just wanted to reiterate my disbelief over this.
- Why the **** did HBO have to pull the plug on OZ? These actors weren't going anywhere and with the Sopranos turning into 'Gilmour Girls', HBO could have used the grit. ****ing shame.
- I hate it when I go to the gym and a shorter person than me has a bigger dick. This is wrong. I also hate those awkward moments at the gym when you are changing and you can't see what that guy behind you is doing. Also, on this male nudity thing, why are men treated so badly? Why does being a man mean that its ok to have communal "Death Camp" like showers? Why not showers with doors? Why? Also, why is it ok in the men's bathroom to just set up a troth for men to piss in so the guy next to you can actually spray you with his splash-up. Women would never go for this. Or why is it ok in some stadiums to not put a door on a men's bathroom stall. You'll never see this in a women's bathroom. This all has to change.
- People that drive electric/ hybrid cars annoy me even though they are doing the right thing. they just think their so damn good.

[twistedpair]

Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but we as Americans don't like being inconvenienced. In fact, we are now unwilling to lift a finger unless it's to let another driver know what we think of him.
You know, I think this whole convenience thing started with the wheel. Before that gizmo came along people didn't expect anything to be convenient. Once we were happy in our dank little caves, until we were able to use the wheel to see that others had caves that were bigger and weren't filled with as much bat guano as ours. With the wheel came envy, a lowering of our self-esteem, and greed. **** you wheel and anything else semi-round you rode in on.
My favorite convenience is pay-at-the-pump gas stations. Zip in, slide the card, pump the gas and go. In fact, pumping gas is the only car-related task I will partake in. I'm proud to say I have not once opened the hood of my car. For all I know, the engine runs on the shrieking souls of the damned. Of course, I'm driving the new Chrysler Hieronymous Bosch Signature Model.
The one convenience I would never give up is ice. I feel this is by far a better invention than fire. I'm not putting fire down mind you, but I'll have my meat rare, thank you, if I can get a few frosty cubes in my cocktail. Any dipshit on Survivor stuck on a tropical island can make fire. How many can make ice? (Because I could use an icebreaker right now.)
For me, the ATM is the model of modern convenience. It's fairly reliable, open 24 hours a day. The lines are never very long. It leads me step by step through the process. Then in less than a minute, it hands me money and thanks me for taking it. Then, almost as a cherished token of our lovely time together, it gives me a receipt for the transaction. Oh yeah, I want to **** an ATM... And, yeah, I want a balance statement to remember it by, little lady.
The telephone, once one of the most useful inventions for man, has now become a communication curse for mankind. I think there is something wrong when you hear a cell phone ring in public and thirty people start patting themselves down like they've just burst into flame. You know, people on cell phones are like people on cocaine, except far less likely to shut up.
Now because of technology we can go through the entire day with out ever talking to a single living person. Which believe me, I look at as a plus. I would love to be in the middle of a live conversation with someone and be able to push a star-key on their chest to fast forward to the goddamn point of their story.
When buying home electronics, I always get the optional warranty. I know consumer advocates say it's a rip off, but I just don't want to be inconvenienced. Last week my high-definition big screen went out on me. So I call the place where I bought it, mention the warranty, and the guy says they'll fix it for free, but that I have to bring it in. I don't own a pickup truck or a van, and frankly, people who do scare me. Not only that, but have you ever tried to lift a big screen high definition television set? It's extremely top heavy and very awkward. So my boys and I put on safety goggles, took hammers, and bashed the thing into 763 easily manageable pieces which we numbered and put into a shoebox for eventual reassembly, and transported them to the service desk. Tebbi, the nice man in the New York Yankees turban, told us it'll be ready in the year Pi.
The clothing company Dockers actually makes a pair of pants with eight pockets to enable men to keep their hands free while carrying their wallet, keys, Starbucks card, MP3 player, palm pilot, two-way pager and cell phone. You know, when you're knocking over small children as you careen down the street because you're literally crating cargo in your pants, it seems like the cooler move at that point would be just to bite the bullet and go with the man-purse.
And you know the ultimate irony: today, even convenience stores are no longer convenient. First off, there is never a place to park, because the reason they named it "7-11" in the first place, is that there's only seven parking places and eleven cars at any given time, so you have to circle the convenience store like a ****ing Indian-oops, excuse me, "casino-owner American"-- attacking a wagon train. Then, the check-out lines are always filled with people who feel the need to scratch the silver pants off the leprauchan's ass on the "Buck of the Irish" lottery ticket while still standing at the counter; not to mention the sixteen year old guys trying to buy hard lemonade using their dead uncle's dogtags from the Spanish Civil War as ID; and the sheepish couple palming condoms like the Ace of Clubs in a poker game with Ricky Jay; or, my personal favorite, the just-new-to-this-hemisphere guy trying to cash third party checks from Indonesia written on the back of a leaf that he had wiped his ass with earlier that afternoon. By the time you get to the register, your coffee's cold, and your Slurpee's hot, but you were able to jerk off to Hustler in line, thereby saving yourself the cost of buying it. Now that's convenience. Clean up in Aisle 2.
Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.
Dennis Miller

[Sleek-Jet]

... that HBO pulled Dennis Miller for Bill Marr (spelling ?). WTF?

[hd&boatrider]

twistedpair:
Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but we as Americans don't like being inconvenienced. In fact, we are now unwilling to lift a finger unless it's to let another driver know what we think of him.
You know, I think this whole convenience thing started with the wheel. Before that gizmo came along people didn't expect anything to be convenient. Once we were happy in our dank little caves, until we were able to use the wheel to see that others had caves that were bigger and weren't filled with as much bat guano as ours. With the wheel came envy, a lowering of our self-esteem, and greed. **** you wheel and anything else semi-round you rode in on.
My favorite convenience is pay-at-the-pump gas stations. Zip in, slide the card, pump the gas and go. In fact, pumping gas is the only car-related task I will partake in. I'm proud to say I have not once opened the hood of my car. For all I know, the engine runs on the shrieking souls of the damned. Of course, I'm driving the new Chrysler Hieronymous Bosch Signature Model.
The one convenience I would never give up is ice. I feel this is by far a better invention than fire. I'm not putting fire down mind you, but I'll have my meat rare, thank you, if I can get a few frosty cubes in my cocktail. Any dipshit on Survivor stuck on a tropical island can make fire. How many can make ice? (Because I could use an icebreaker right now.)
For me, the ATM is the model of modern convenience. It's fairly reliable, open 24 hours a day. The lines are never very long. It leads me step by step through the process. Then in less than a minute, it hands me money and thanks me for taking it. Then, almost as a cherished token of our lovely time together, it gives me a receipt for the transaction. Oh yeah, I want to **** an ATM... And, yeah, I want a balance statement to remember it by, little lady.
The telephone, once one of the most useful inventions for man, has now become a communication curse for mankind. I think there is something wrong when you hear a cell phone ring in public and thirty people start patting themselves down like they've just burst into flame. You know, people on cell phones are like people on cocaine, except far less likely to shut up.
Now because of technology we can go through the entire day with out ever talking to a single living person. Which believe me, I look at as a plus. I would love to be in the middle of a live conversation with someone and be able to push a star-key on their chest to fast forward to the goddamn point of their story.
When buying home electronics, I always get the optional warranty. I know consumer advocates say it's a rip off, but I just don't want to be inconvenienced. Last week my high-definition big screen went out on me. So I call the place where I bought it, mention the warranty, and the guy says they'll fix it for free, but that I have to bring it in. I don't own a pickup truck or a van, and frankly, people who do scare me. Not only that, but have you ever tried to lift a big screen high definition television set? It's extremely top heavy and very awkward. So my boys and I put on safety goggles, took hammers, and bashed the thing into 763 easily manageable pieces which we numbered and put into a shoebox for eventual reassembly, and transported them to the service desk. Tebbi, the nice man in the New York Yankees turban, told us it'll be ready in the year Pi.
The clothing company Dockers actually makes a pair of pants with eight pockets to enable men to keep their hands free while carrying their wallet, keys, Starbucks card, MP3 player, palm pilot, two-way pager and cell phone. You know, when you're knocking over small children as you careen down the street because you're literally crating cargo in your pants, it seems like the cooler move at that point would be just to bite the bullet and go with the man-purse.
And you know the ultimate irony: today, even convenience stores are no longer convenient. First off, there is never a place to park, because the reason they named it "7-11" in the first place, is that there's only seven parking places and eleven cars at any given time, so you have to circle the convenience store like a ****ing Indian-oops, excuse me, "casino-owner American"-- attacking a wagon train. Then, the check-out lines are always filled with people who feel the need to scratch the silver pants off the leprauchan's ass on the "Buck of the Irish" lottery ticket while still standing at the counter; not to mention the sixteen year old guys trying to buy hard lemonade using their dead uncle's dogtags from the Spanish Civil War as ID; and the sheepish couple palming condoms like the Ace of Clubs in a poker game with Ricky Jay; or, my personal favorite, the just-new-to-this-hemisphere guy trying to cash third party checks from Indonesia written on the back of a leaf that he had wiped his ass with earlier that afternoon. By the time you get to the register, your coffee's cold, and your Slurpee's hot, but you were able to jerk off to Hustler in line, thereby saving yourself the cost of buying it. Now that's convenience. Clean up in Aisle 2.
Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.
Dennis Miller Today I really, really appreciate that rant :)

[Mandelon]

Making Payroll tax deposits.

[hd&boatrider]

Mandelon:
Making Payroll tax deposits. Just one of those days you want to just say f%$# it! Enough is enough...lol

[Jrocket]

Wet farts? No.They dont bother me much,clean up easy and gets a good laugh out of me.
Now catching my pecker in my zipper,that I hate......very much. frown

[HCS]

When you have sex in the dark then realize it was the wrong time of month. eek!

[FMluvswater]

Okay maybe this was intended as a guys only thread but damn 'fear the turtle'- did you have to mention SOOO many things that I agree with???
Hate Justin Timberlake! He's nothing but a freaking Michael Jackson wannabe *shudder*! Wonder how else he wants to be just like Michael? Britney IS a phony baloney, talentless ho and we all know only diff between a ho and a hooker is a fee - Britney is a hmm "entertainer?" she is VERY well OVERpaid yes?. How messed up was Alyssa when she did Justin- what did he give her? a roofie? More likely an STD- EWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! LMAO Britney and Alyssa could have made so many men happy if they would have just skipped the middle man! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
The inability to complain about your waiter before your food arrives because you are scared he is going to **** with your meal if you tell the truth about how shitty he is doing. On the flip side, the sheer terror of being at dinner with someone who doesn't care about pissing off the waiter and now your food stands in saliva limbo.Well damn I never even thought of that! Now I will! Thanks for the heads up! Some of the people I associate with are chronic complainers/whiners who figure opening their wallets entitles them to being treated like royalty or better :rolleyes: whatever!
Why are men treated so badly? Why does being a man mean that its ok to have communal "Death Camp" like showers? Why not showers with doors? Why? Also, why is it ok in the men's bathroom to just set up a troth for men to piss in so the guy next to you can actually spray you with his splash-up. Women would never go for this. Or why is it ok in some stadiums to not put a door on a men's bathroom stall. You'll never see this in a women's bathroom. This all has to change.While I can't say I've ever lost sleep over these things I have wondered before your post why men are treated like they don't need privacy while attending to private matters. Like whoever is in charge thinks what that there is no dignity present to be begin with and so a man's dignity is not compromised by the status quo? :confused:
okay now my pet peeve ...
It irritates me when women say they are heterosexual but think pictures of naked men are disgusting and don't bat an eye or make similar judgements on pics of naked women. WTF? Call me crazy but as a heterosexual woman I would rather see a pic of an ugly fat naked man than a pic of a beautiful slender naked chick- I'm het I'm supposed to like men's bodies! I could live the rest of my days in happiness if I never have to see another pic of T & A!!!! Certainly I prefer to see good-looking, sexy, naked men but I'd never choose naked chick over naked guy no matter what he looks like! I don't understand these supposedly het women who are grossed out by the nude male form I just don't. I don't begrudge men their fascination with women's bodies at all- it's as it should be. I just don't wanna see the pics of women that most men enjoy looking at- it just isn't my idea of eye-candy at all. Men are beautiful to me some more than others but still. Please don't mistake my blatant heterosexuality for an absence of morals or lax morals. Ok that's all I wanted to say.
:)

[Jrocket]

Theres nothing worse than having the beans on top of the frank....and stuck in the zipper!! :p

[spectratoad]

Is there a correct time of the month to have sex? :D :D

[Jrocket]

spectratoad:
Is there a correct time of the month to have sex? :D :D Yep!!! Anytime the wife is gone!!! :D :D

[spectratoad]

OUCH!!

[Froggystyle]

Two words... re-wipe

[spectratoad]

To spin off of Fear The Turtle comments. I have to say that the men's locker room is a joke.
I need to say that it is ok for guys to be modest. You see guys sitting in chairs naked watching the news or standing face to face like they are in a coffee house tallking and they are naked. Modesty is ok. :D
I think the short guy-big dick thing you mentioned is all about proportion. If a bug is towing a 20' boat it will look bigger than the same boat behind an F350.
FM waterbabe - I don't know about Britney being a HO until she proves to me she is, in person of course. :D wink

[spectratoad]

JROCKET, In the military we have a term for that also. When you go on orders you pack you TDY (temporary duty) dick. :D :D

[Froggystyle]

spectratoad:
JROCKET, In the military we have a term for that also. When you go on orders you pack you TDY (temporary duty) dick. :D :D Would that be based on the "300 mile, three bridges or major body of water" rule?