From the mouths of babes...

[Her454]

For those with kids....whats the most embarrassing thing your kid has ever said or done to embarrass you...?
Over the years there have been many but this comes to mind first....when she was about 2 or so and I was holding her as I was waiting in line at Mervyns to pay for my clothes and she (my little angel) picked a buger (I dont think I've ever had to spell that word?) and wiped it on the cash register right in front of everyone and then said, look momma! I wanted to die. eek!
[ October 07, 2003, 10:31 AM: Message edited by: Her454 ]

[superV]

Mine was with my now 6yr old boy who at the time was just 3.5yrs and we had just moved in to our new house. It was in in the middel of summer on a sat. morning about 9am the wife and i were in bed and kids had came in about an hour before that asking if they could play out side. So no problem this would be a good time for some alone time for me and the wife right. Well after about an hour i decided to get up and see what was going on because is all i could hear for last hour was everyone cutting there grass and doing busybody work outside. So anyways I get up walk out side look at the street and see my son standing in the bed of my mudder jeep buck naked with a woody playing with him self while everyone is outside working. So i run out and get him only to find out he has been at almost the whole time he was out side. It was a great first impression! :rolleyes:

[Her454]

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!! ok, I feel better about the buger thing! :)

[Tee]

This happened with my cousins kid. He was about 4 or 5 at the time. My cousin is a heavy equipment operator (this is important!)
We were standing in line to check out of a Walmart. In front of us was a very large (ok, huge) Gal. Well her pager goes off. Very loudly my cousins kid says.
"Look out dad, she's backin up!"

[ROZ]

About a year ago while standing in a checkout line in my local Albertson's my daughter asked(out loud) me why the lady in front of us was covered in chocolate...She was a stout black woman.. eek! .. I went on to explain how god made people in many flavors.... :D

[GrapeApe]

My Twin Brother was watering the front lawn, while his 5yr old son was playing in the driveway. 2 good looking young ladies, around 16-18 yrs old are walking by with there dogs. My brother was looking at them and there Dogs while he was watering, and his Son yells out, "Dad, Stop Staring at those girls you Pervert". The girls giggled at him as they walked by. My brother turned red, and yelled at his son to go in the house...
*** Grape Ape ***

[ROZ]

GrapeApe:
and his Son yells out, "Stop Staring at those girls you Pervert". *** Grape Ape *** He probably heard his mother saying that to your brother... wink :D
[ October 07, 2003, 01:26 PM: Message edited by: ROZ ]

[Blown 472]

damn it.
[ October 07, 2003, 01:26 PM: Message edited by: Blown 472 ]

[Blown 472]

When my son was two he would put the letter "f" in the front of alot of words, we were in the bank on day and I was holding him and he wanted a "I wanna ****er" ie sucker to which he started yelling this while we were in line.

[058]

ROZ:
About a year ago while standing in a checkout line in my local Albertson's my daughter asked(out loud) me why the lady in front of us was covered in chocolate...She was a stout black woman.. eek! .. I went on to explain how god made people in many flavors.... :D Damn....You dodged a very big bullet with that response. Good thinking under pressure. wink

[spectratoad]

Those are hilarious.
Mine happened about a year and a half ago so my boys would have been about 7 and 9, the age where they really can think out humor. Well being in the military and wearing combat boots everyday you can sometimes get a little athletes foot going. Well we were standing in line at the grocery store and as the cashier is running the jam through the scanner my youngest says,"we really didn't need it my dad has toe jam." He is lucky he is quick cause I was about to shine the laser from the scanner into his eys. :D :D

[dmontzsta]

In the store near the milk and he said "daddy that black man stinks"

[MagicMtnDan]

Tee:
This happened with my cousins kid. He was about 4 or 5 at the time. My cousin is a heavy equipment operator (this is important!)
We were standing in line to check out of a Walmart. In front of us was a very large (ok, huge) Gal. Well her pager goes off. Very loudly my cousins kid says.
"Look out dad, she's backin up!" That's hilarious!

[Her454]

ok, heres another one......my daughter used to be
scared to death of Santa....and the first year
she actually sat in his lap....she started screaming again and wanted up...and kept saying he had bad breath and everyone was laughing........santa was pissed.

[Mandelon]

I've been to church about 8 times in my life, but for some reason my wife talked me into going for a Christmas Pageant. They passed out the program on the way in. Heard one kid complain once that he didn't get the "menu".
My son kept begging and whining and nagging my wife for some of the cake we had. She finally had enough and said, "Fine here is the damn cake"!! Next day he asks for another piece of the damn cake. :rolleyes:
When my son was around two, I remodeled our house and added a second story and a family room and kitchen. My son watched me work and got to learn and hear my frustrations when things did not work right. For Christmas that year I got him a little tool belt and plastic tools. First thing he did was pick up his little hammer and throw it across the room. "Piece of Kwap" he yells at it.... :rolleyes: :rolleyes: I guess he was paying more attention than I thought. :D

[MRS FLYIN VEE]

we use to coach our sons t-ball team when he was 5 he is now 9. Well the kids were all acting up didn't want to practice so we had them run a few sprints. well our son thought he was going to sit down and not do them because of who he was so my husband told him he is no different than any of the other kids so go run with them. Well in front of all the parents he flips off his dad. His dad in awe looked at him and said what did you just do to me. Well he proceeded to flip him off with both hands, Then dad asked him where did you learn that. Our son then said from mom she does it in the car to other people all the time. I was so :o I don't think i ever did that again. Well in front of him anyway.

[Mandelon]

I hope he had to run double laps!!! :D

[MRS FLYIN VEE]

Mandelon:
I hope he had to run double laps!!! :D I think I ran about 4 myself. LMAO!! :D

[Her454]

MRS FLYIN VEE:
Mandelon:
I hope he had to run double laps!!! :D I think I ran about 4 myself. LMAO!! :D LMAO!!! Thats funny! Kids. eek!

[Lakeshow]

I can picture the look on Mr. Flyins face - LMAO :D :D :D

[rvrtoy]

My son was 4 years old at the time this happened. Also keep in mind that a lot of allegations had just come forth against Catholic priests.
My family and I were walking around a local home show looking for a kitchen contractor to remodel our kitchen. My son tells me he has to go to the bathroom. I walked him into the bathroom where he informed me he had to go #2. We proceed to find a stall,he jumps up on the toilet and starts doing his business. (I am also inside the stall) After a minute or two he starts making these moaning sounds ( I guess the poor kid ate to much cheese or something). From outside the stall I hear some people starting to laugh quietly. After another couple of minutes the moans started to get louder. Finally a sigh of releif. He looks up at me and says, "I LOVE YOU DADDY"!!! jawdrop
I go straight to deffense mode...Hands up over the stall declairing.."There's nothing going on in here"!!!!
This must have delighted everyone in this restroom because the entire place was laughing so hard they had tears in there eyes. What an emberassing moment eek!

[missboatnam1]

I LOVE KIDS!!! THIS IS FUNNY!!
when i was pottie training my daughter macie, i had to run into mervyns to exchange something. she only had her trainer panties on her, but i figured it would be ok, since we were just going to be in and out realy quick.....well there is this line of about 5 people, so get in line, then it gets really buzy, there is probly about 10 people in line now, macie is hiding in the clothes rack, i can see her feet and im keeping a eye one her....then here she comes out of the clothes rack with her long blonde hair and big ole smile, im like hi sweetie!! (everyone's admiring how cute my daughter is)...she runs up to me lookin all proud and she hands me a 4 inch terd....yep, she was proud she dident go in her panties... not knowing what to do with it, and everyone staring at me, i stuck it in my pocket.......i was not getting out of line!!!
:D :D :D

[Her454]

missboatnam1:
I LOVE KIDS!!! THIS IS FUNNY!!
when i was pottie training my daughter macie, i had to run into mervyns to exchange something. she only had her trainer panties on her, but i figured it would be ok, since we were just going to be in and out realy quick.....well there is this line of about 5 people, so get in line, then it gets really buzy, there is probly about 10 people in line now, macie is hiding in the clothes rack, i can see her feet and im keeping a eye one her....then here she comes out of the clothes rack with her long blonde hair and big ole smile, im like hi sweetie!! (everyone's admiring how cute my daughter is)...she runs up to me lookin all proud and she hands me a 4 inch terd....yep, she was proud she dident go in her panties... not knowing what to do with it, and everyone staring at me, i stuck it in my pocket.......i was not getting out of line!!!
:D :D :D ROTFLMAO!! OMG Tina - that takes the grand prize I think! Too funny! :D

[Kindsvater Flat]

I was going to post but DAMN how is a person to compete with that!! :D

[NorCal Gameshow]

this was told to me by a ralphs meat cutter:
he was doing his job stocking the case. when a guy and his son were looking at the beer case.
the son tells the dad to get a certain brand and the dad says, "why?". the son tells him chuck likes it. the dad asks "who's chuck "? .the son says "he's mommy's friend, he comes over when you're at work.
jawdrop
[ October 07, 2003, 08:11 PM: Message edited by: NorCal Gameshow ]

[missboatnam1]

LOL, i dont know traci, your was right up there too!! whats with mervyns anyway!!! LOL eek!

[Blown 472]

We were standing in line to see santa, and my son is pulling at my shirt saying dad, dad, so I look down and him and ask him what is up, now mind you we are in a big ol line of peeps.
He puts his hands on his hips and says "Dad, my johnson is bigger than yours" trying not to piss my pants I step over the little fence and go around the corner to laugh.

[GONE2RIVER]

About a year ago I was in the mall with a friend of mine who had a 7 year old son. They were walking through the store and my friend did something funny and his kid came back with "my nigga." This was right after Training Day came out. Just as he said it, four black people turned around and one of them said that my friend needed to teach his kid some manners. I was embarrased for him, just imagine how embarassed he was!

[Her454]

missboatnam1:
LOL, i dont know traci, your was right up there too!! whats with mervyns anyway!!! LOL eek! KIDS....gotta love em.....dunno about the Mervyns thing, I noticed it too! :D :D

[Windy]

I picked up my little girl from preschool one day and shes rubbing her shoulder. I said "Bridgette did you hurt yourself?" She replied "Yeah, my knee hurts."
[ October 08, 2003, 12:14 PM: Message edited by: MissHBjet ]

[ROZ]

MissHBjet:
I picked up my little girl from preschool one day and shes rubbing her shoulder. I said "Bridgette did you heart yourself?" She replied "Yeah, my knee hurts." That's funny....When speaking of events that happened the day before, Hannah use to say," Daddy last year when I......"

[Party Cat]

I had a co-worker who went to Home Depot with her son to get a Father's day present....her son was looking at a screwdriver set and yelled to his mom down the aisle...."Hey Mom....let's get dad these...he likes to screw things"......
She got alot of looks from everyone around :D
[ October 08, 2003, 11:55 AM: Message edited by: Party Cat ]

[topless]

When my daughter was 2, I had my son and since she was always wanting to help me feed, change him etc... I had to explain that his tee tee was different because it is called a penis. She was satisfied with that. About 6 months later she went to a company picnic with her grandma. They had pony rides thee and the pony she rode was named Batman. As she was waiting to ride again, she was squatting down looking at the ponies and yelled, Look Grandma, Batman has a penis! I am soooooo glad I was home with my son!!!

[Michael Minegar]

When my son was 2.5 years old I took him with me to clean out one of my workers trucks. I had fired the worker and it took me a week to get the truck back. I took the truck to a friend of mines gas station to clean it. It was gross. I told this freind of mine that "It smelled like old pussy inside". I did'nt know my son was standing behind me. We went home and later on my wife cooked dinner and we all sat down. I put my son up in his high chair. He had his plate in front of him and he leaned over and smelled the food and announced "This smells like old pussy!" Needless to say I told her I had no idea where he would hve heard that

[spectratoad]

WOW eek! after reading all these you wonder why we teach our kids to talk. :D

[Waldo]

These are freakin' funny!!! I am almost crying right now. The turd ones, the kids saying things they hear from parents it awesome.
My 2 y/o daughter stormed into the bathroom once when I was using it and asked, "Daddy, what's that?" pointing at my penis. It caught me so off guard I just blurted out the first thing that came to my mind. My wife calls her parts a "La-La". So I say, it's a "Hoo-Ha" (it sort of the opposite of La-La).
Meanwhile my wife was cracking up in the next room.
Since then, my daughter finds it important to tell my friends, neighbors, wife, mother, sisters, brothers, uncles aunts, grandmas, grandpas, and any stranger she sees (especially the female cashiers at Albertsons) that "I have a La-La and my Daddy has a Hoo-Ha" as she points to the respective sensitive areas of each person.
I am sure there will be many more stories after our next one is born and they are partners in crime.

[Infomaniac]

In spring each year the rain causes the lake levels to rise enough where there is not any beaches to pull up on. Staying on the boat all day with kids they have to GO in the lake.
One day we finally had beach to pull up on and I am watching to my left the lake patrol at the boat next to us. I turn to my right and see my son standing on the engine cover with his back arched shooting a stream as far as he can.
When my daughter was just old enough to learn the difference between boys and girls. We were standing in a very crowded Christmas line at the post office to mail a package. She turns to me and in her very loud kid voice says "daddy you have a boys bottom huh"? I say "no - shhh" She gets louder and says as she pats me in the front of the pants "yes you do, right here"
I guess you had to be there.

[Infomaniac]

Oh Yea
My wife comes in the bedroom one day and says "Dillon is laying in his bed playing with his Willie" He was only 3 or 4. Dillon came in and I asked him if he was playing with Willie. He says "Yep" He says in his kid serious voice "Dad - Willie was big, he was THIS BIG" Stretching out his arms as far as he could. I say "All right man"

[hd&boatrider]

I got one for you:
Many years ago when my son was in kindergarten I tried to be real involved with his class and activities. I was divorced and really wanted to make sure that I put in the extra effort as far as bringing him up. Anyhow, I was about the only male that helped in the PTA over at Imperial Elementry in Anaheim Hills. They were doing this self-estem building presentation to all the kids and I volunteered to do this in my sons class. This was done with hand puppets and I became Harmony the bear. I felt kind of silly but what the heck...it was for the kids and my son was lighting up like a Xmas tree. So I was Harmony and another parent had some other kind of animal puppet.
Basically it went something like this: Harmony--"What do we say when someone offers you cigarettes?" The correct answer is NO! Well after the NO my sons hand shoots upwards. In my best Harmony bear voice I say "Yes,Justin". He prceeds to say "Dad, you smoke cigarettes, why don't you say no?". He had this huge smile on his face because he knew he had me. I can't remember what I said but went on. Next Harmony question--"What do you say to alcohol?" Again NO and my kids hand shot up. "Yes Justin" "Dad, you drink beer, why don't you say no?". I was tempted to have him removed from the class...lol but I moved on. The last question: Harmony---"What do you say to drugs?". After the NO of course my sons hand goes up again. I was afraid to hear what he had to say this time "Ahhh, hmmmm, yes, Justin" You could hear a pin drop at this point and I thought as soon as this one came out somebody from CPS would be soon visiting. "Dad, you take drugs, why don't you say no?" **** the Harmony routine at this point...I say "Justin, what are you talking about?" He says "Well Dad, you know that cigs and beer are drugs don't you?" I was so embarassed but it made me realize what a friggin sponge kids are....The entire class, teachers, parents, etc were just looking at me as I slithered off to the shadows....
Sorry it was so long but it would not be the same without hearing the entire story....
[ October 09, 2003, 02:05 PM: Message edited by: hd&boatrider ]

[Her454]

These are just toooooooo funny! Keep em comming you guys! :) :) :)

[Cheap Thrills]

Is'nt it ironic , you spend the first two years teaching them to walk and talk and the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up . :confused:

[topless]

Why is it that we can't teach them when to shut up? Too funny. Mine still tell all they know!!!

[dorC]

I don't have kids of my own, so I'm not familiar with the whole potty training thing. I was out with my in-laws and we were all standing in the checkout line. My nephew (he's about 3, I guess) has been going through potty training. He pretty well has it down pat, but still needs a little help. Ok, so we're all standing in this long line. My nephew pipes up that he "needs to go potty!" Ok, that's just grand. Now everybody is looking away from each other, hoping they they arn't the one to take him. My nephew announces that "Uncle Tim can take me!". Oh, great. Thanks for picking me. My sister in-law looks at me with one of those ha-ha faces knowing that I have never taken a little kid to the bathroom. It's at this time that my nephew announces "And Uncle Tim, he can hold my P E N I S!" He even drew out the work to make it last longer. I could have died!