Liberator TJ1984
01-30-2003, 09:16 AM
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from
the male side.
These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it
1. Saturday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Don't cut your hair ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short
hair. One of the big reasons guys
fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
work! Strong hints Do Not work!
Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. We don't remember dates. Mark anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us
frequently beforehand.
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be
any good at choosing which
pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your
girlfriends are for.
1. Check your oil! Please.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and
void after 7 days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to
answer.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we
meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know
best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like the Windows default settings. Peach,
for example, is a fruit, not a
color. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading
ability is not proof of how
little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you are lying,
but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to - expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really!
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such topics as navel lint,
the shotgun formation, fishing, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. NO! No, you really do have too many shoes.
1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together.
And, no, it doesn't matter which quiz.
1. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
1. I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch
tonight...
But did you know we really don't mind that? It's like camping.
:D
the male side.
These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it
1. Saturday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Don't cut your hair ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short
hair. One of the big reasons guys
fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
work! Strong hints Do Not work!
Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. We don't remember dates. Mark anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us
frequently beforehand.
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be
any good at choosing which
pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your
girlfriends are for.
1. Check your oil! Please.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and
void after 7 days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to
answer.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we
meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know
best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like the Windows default settings. Peach,
for example, is a fruit, not a
color. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading
ability is not proof of how
little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you are lying,
but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to - expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really!
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such topics as navel lint,
the shotgun formation, fishing, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. NO! No, you really do have too many shoes.
1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together.
And, no, it doesn't matter which quiz.
1. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
1. I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch
tonight...
But did you know we really don't mind that? It's like camping.
:D