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View Full Version : Neighbors bulshit games!!!



jlnorthrup122
08-07-2003, 06:37 PM
I have this neighbor who is probly in his sixties rite. Well they just moved in this summer and what ever they seem normal. But a month or so ago while I was gone the dude aproches my wife as she gets out of the car in our drivway with the kids and says some bullshit like he's watchen her so she better watch her speed and shit like that. So I take it with a grain of salt rite. well the wife complains about the guy slowing down real slow if he is driving in front of her all the time! Also my wife caught the guy teasing our dog when we put her out to go and do dog business. But any way the old bastard did the slow down piss off game in front of me today on my way home with the girls from the sitter rite so (this guy lives accrost the sreet from us) I wait untill my driveway is in sight and pass his slow ass and block my driveway so the punk can't use it to back into his drive and the ****ing puke looks at me and is all like Hey there friend and shit And I know this guy is playing pissoff games with me and my wife because of what he does. I would really like to nock the ****er out but he is old and I don't think that would be cool. So what would you do in this situation to put an end to the bullshit?

Wet Dream
08-07-2003, 07:00 PM
Burn rubber down the street every morning. :D

buck183
08-07-2003, 07:01 PM
I think you're on the right track. Keep playing head games with him. That'll get his goat more than anything.
Buck

RiverToysJas
08-07-2003, 07:02 PM
Put a bunch of dog shit on his front porch some night, then light his house on fire!!! wink
RTJas :D

BrendellaJet
08-07-2003, 07:05 PM
F*&K That. Too old my ass. If the bastard can play games, he can take the ass whooping that comes with them. Now he knows your pissed, next time it happens to you or your wife, get in his face about it, better yet, play games with his wife!
[ August 07, 2003, 08:07 PM: Message edited by: BrendellaJet ]

Jbb
08-07-2003, 07:09 PM
Bury him!...Bury him with a shovel....And then bury the shovel......j/k
I would commence to beating his ass silly.. old or not.

jlnorthrup122
08-07-2003, 07:10 PM
I should but the guy might go into cardiac arrest or something! The ****er just parked his POS RV in front of his house Good now he will have to stand in the street to snoop! I try to ignore his shit but I am just fed up with it I think I will do the burn rubber down the street every mourning and I think I will take a sawsall to my worktruck's exaust right below the header! :D

jlnorthrup122
08-07-2003, 07:11 PM
I know I could show him that I have a shovel next time he pisses me off! :D

Jbb
08-07-2003, 07:15 PM
You could go knock on his door, sit with him and have a calm discussion about respecting each others privacy. Tell him he is making your wife uncomfortable with his antics. He will probably come around ...Then just as your leaving say to him ...Next time we are both home come on over ,we can have a beer and I can show the head of the last old **** like you I had to deal with...I keep it right here in the freezer... :D

TCHB
08-07-2003, 07:17 PM
Tell him to stop if he does not file a restraining order to keep him away from your family. Make it formal.

jlnorthrup122
08-07-2003, 07:18 PM
originally posted by jetboat brian:
..Next time we are both home come on over ,we can have a beer and I can show the head of the last old **** like you I had to deal with...I keep it right here in the freezer... LOL :D :D And I am good friends with my taxadurmist too!! :D
[ August 07, 2003, 08:20 PM: Message edited by: jlnorthrup122 ]

RiverToysJas
08-07-2003, 07:21 PM
You can list everything he owns for sale in the Trader. That'll keep him busy with phone calls for a while. wink
RTJas :D

HOSS
08-07-2003, 07:21 PM
Throw your dog`s shit at his house at night. That would be cool.
Or you could always give him the finger when you see him outside. He`ll get the message.

jlnorthrup122
08-07-2003, 07:25 PM
Rivertoyjas
You can list everything he owns for sale in the Trader. That'll keep him busy with phone calls for a while. LMAO :D :D

bigq
08-07-2003, 07:26 PM
JETBOAT BRIAN:
You could go knock on his door, sit with him and have a calm discussion about respecting each others privacy. Tell him he is making your wife uncomfortable with his antics. He will probably come around ...Then just as your leaving say to him ...Next time we are both home come on over ,we can have a beer and I can show the head of the last old **** like you I had to deal with...I keep it right here in the freezer... :D LMAO, I like it. :D :D :D

Wet Dream
08-07-2003, 07:27 PM
Along with the shovel, make sure he sees a bag of lime out front. :D

Kindsvater Flat
08-07-2003, 07:28 PM
RiverToysJas:
You can list everything he owns for sale in the Trader. That'll keep him busy with phone calls for a while. wink
RTJas :D Oh Man!!!!!! That is the best idea I have ever heard!!!

jlnorthrup122
08-07-2003, 07:28 PM
originaly posted by hoss:
Or you could always give him the finger when you see him outside. He`ll get the message.
I think that should work! :D Ithink the guy has mental problems or something!

jlnorthrup122
08-07-2003, 07:31 PM
originally posted by Wet Dream:
Along with the shovel, make sure he sees a bag of lime out front. So wet dream have you dug a grave or 2 in your day? :D :D I wounder if he would get it? :D

JetBoatRich
08-07-2003, 08:11 PM
I would mix up a few of these ideas, since they are some of the best I ever heard. List all his stuff in the trader, put shit on the porch on fire covered with the trader just before this invite him over for the conversation with a shovel leaning against the front door. eek! eek! eek!

topgun
08-07-2003, 08:18 PM
My solution, get a harley with drag pipes and "tune it up" every time you see he is home. when other neighbors complain, tell them he is the problem, not you. Get a "group think thing going". My solution to my asshole neighbor is to run a 100 round drum through my AK. Works for about 6 months, I repeat as necessary, but hey this is Kentucky.
John H. "not polically correct, never will be"

spectratoad
08-07-2003, 08:24 PM
Be careful though and document everything he does. Especially if he approaches your wife and says shit with the kids around.
A friend of my wifes just got served papers from their neighbor today. They are suing her husband for harrasment. I guess this guys wife is a raging Baitch and after a few times of trying to talk to her and her husband and seeing what they could do to get along since they were neighbors I guess he just went off on her and now the lawsuit begins.
Just my .02

blownmoney
08-07-2003, 08:30 PM
You could go knock on his door, sit with him and have a calm discussion about respecting each others privacy. Tell him he is making your wife uncomfortable with his antics. He will probably come around ...Then just as your leaving say to him ...Next time we are both home come on over ,we can have a beer and I can show the head of the last old **** like you I had to deal with...I keep it right here in the freezer...
thats funny shit!!!

Wet Dream
08-07-2003, 08:30 PM
Neighbors suck!!

vdrivenman
08-08-2003, 03:12 AM
back your boat to the end of the driveway. point the o/t headers at is house and crank her off. a few days of this and he will get the message.
all kidding aside video tape him or record him, what he says and his actions.
check him thru the system to see if he has a past criminal record and is not some kind of pedofile.
then after you have enuff on him go public in the neighborhood or file criminal charges on him.
a video tape is the best !

Freak
08-08-2003, 03:17 AM
[/QUOTE] I think the guy has mental problems or something! [/QB][/QUOTE]
Your probably correct in your assumption. Be careful - he is not harmless. He could use his car as a weapon. Document and make it formal.

Boozer
08-08-2003, 04:55 AM
Just sneak into his house one night and kill him. Problem solved.

Ex-Con
08-08-2003, 05:24 AM
My personal favorite: get a 32 gallon trash can, lean it against his door, take his garden hose (usually kept within easy reach) and fill the trash can as full of water as you can with it still leaning against the door, put the hose away, ring his doorbell and run to a place that you can see his face when he answers the door and 28 gallons of water runs quickly past his feet. Wear latex gloves and use one of his trashcans- hard to get caught.

Boozer
08-08-2003, 05:32 AM
In all honesty just make that old man hate the neighborhood he lives in so badly that he moves out. There are things to do without getting busted.
Here are a few things to do.
Take one of those road construction signs (You know the ones that have A-Frame and the little blinky light on top of them) and put it direclty behind his car. He will come out one morning and back right over it. Prolly wont do much damage to his car but it is going to piss him off to no end. If he hits it just right it wont collapse and will lodge itself under his car and they are a real bitch to get out.
Steal his newspaper every morning.
Get one of those wind up alarm clocks and set it for like 2:30 am. Hide it in a Bush that is close to his bedroom window. Make sure to wind up the ringer to go for about 20-25 seconds. Set this thing up 2 times a week.
Infest his yard with garder snakes. Put about 30-40 of them in his yard. Make sure to put some stuff on his porch that will atract them so he will come out to fetch the paper one morning (that you will have already taken) and have 10-15 snakes on his porch.
There are many other things you can do.

MagicMtnDan
08-08-2003, 05:54 AM
Call the We Tip hotline (local police tip number) and report his address as a meth lab.
Watching that and telling your friends (and us) all about the raid on his house will give you even more hours of pleasure.
Note to self: call from a pay phone and disguise your voice.
http://www.gridlockmag.com/lastrights/images/dpd.jpg

Boozer
08-08-2003, 05:59 AM
MagicMtnDan:
Call the We Tip hotline (local police tip number) and report his address as a meth lab.
Watching that and telling your friends (and us) all about the raid on his house will give you even more hours of pleasure.
Note to self: call from a pay phone and disguise your voice.
http://www.gridlockmag.com/lastrights/images/dpd.jpg Calling we tip usually doesn't result in a raid on the house. They have to conduct a surveilance operation to obtain a warrant. Now if the neighbor does things that look suspicious then they will get one. Otherwise that won't work.

Ex-Con
08-08-2003, 06:01 AM
1) Call the "Rascal Co" they make those 3 wheel battery operated carts, tell the sales guy that your dad is getting old and needs a salesman to come by for a demo,but is afraid to call on his own. Set up the demo for a time your neighbor will be home, and make sure you guys are out front "playing" when the guy gets there with the Rascal.
2) Go to a liquor store and buy some male gay porn magazines, tear out all the little square inserts for subscribing and put his name on all of them with bill me later- He'll have a slug'o'porn

Ntwotrance
08-08-2003, 06:08 AM
Well, all I can tell you is I feel for you, my neighbors make yours look like a saint. I've had it out so much with mine, that I finally took matters into my own hands (such as a Morning Glory that continually grew into my yard...had the kids yank it all of the fence, then commenced to throw it into their hot tub. they come back, and the entire hot tub is full of shrubs, hey, it is trespass). What prompted me to do this? well, let's see, their kids waking up at 5 am on weekends and yelling at the top of their lungs because they're bored...their dog crapping in everyones yard...their kids running out from between cars when you're driving down the street, and the list goes on and on...their excuse? "they're just kids and should be able to express themselves"...well, their kids also expressed themselves in other peoples yards (such as taking a dump in my other neighbors yard because the mother was to busy to let them into their own house to use the bathroom, flattening peoples tires because they were, again, bored and that list goes on and on). Well, to make a long story even longer, I went to each neighbor and eventually turned the entire neighborhood against them....they move TOMORROW!!!! Wait till their new neighbors get a hold of them because it won't be my problem any longer...oh, and by the way, when they went to look at houses, they let their kids run amock in the houses they were looking at, to include going through the peoples drawers/closets/and swimming in their pools)....tomorrow will be a great day, time to break out the beers....

Ex-Con
08-08-2003, 06:09 AM
Shit this really has me thinking- PRANKS- love-em!!!
Go to Petco and buy 25 mice, make sure they double bag em. You could either just dump them on the side of the guys house, or hide the whole bag- they will eat through the bag and eventually all get out.
I took 10 mice to the movies once and let them go during the movie- the mice were crawling around by poeples feet and some were walking up and down the carpet with those little light things- looked like they were looking for a seat- it created quite a stirr, it was better than the movie.
Shit post his address, we can do some stuff from right here!!!

Ntwotrance
08-08-2003, 06:15 AM
Oh, almost forgot about their cat....got the boat re-upholstered...2 days later their cat got in there and clawed the crap out of the seats...my solution to this one (knowing that they would just ignore the fact that their cat, like their kids and dog are out of control)....caught the cat and threw it to my dog...their cat is now drain bamaged....I mean brain damaged...

Ex-Con
08-08-2003, 06:17 AM
Forgot this one: When these guys first started doing this you could send real shit from a 110lb dog to anyone in the nation. Now it is fake shit, but you can still send a message.
http://www.dogdoo.com

rrrr
08-08-2003, 06:21 AM
MagicMtnDan:
Call the We Tip hotline (local police tip number) and report his address as a meth lab.
OH SHIT! LMAO....... Goddam that is funny Dan.
Get a few empty quart cans of Acetone, about 10 empty boxes of Actifed and a few old syringes, show 'em to the cop taking the report.
:D :D
[ August 08, 2003, 07:23 AM: Message edited by: rrrr ]

Blown 472
08-08-2003, 06:25 AM
Set his house on fire when he is in it and then when he runs out shoot him in the knee caps so he can lay in the lawn and watch it burn.
Beat his wife with a golf club.
[ August 08, 2003, 07:27 AM: Message edited by: Blown 472 ]

Ex-Con
08-08-2003, 06:26 AM
I like this topic-
Get a blank for the kind of car he has, put it in a vise, make a couple "hooks" on the part that goes in so that it cannot come out, then cut off the part you hold on to, and put it into the drivers side door so that it dissappears. He will have to go in through the passenger door if he locks his car.

Blown 472
08-08-2003, 06:28 AM
Ex-Con:
I like this topic-
Get a blank for the kind of car he has, put it in a vise, make a couple "hooks" on the part that goes in so that it cannot come out, then cut off the part you hold on to, and put it into the drivers side door so that it dissappears. He will have to go in through the passenger door if he locks his car. THat is some funny shit. Great idea

Infomaniac
08-08-2003, 06:34 AM
Buy a locking gas cap and install it one night.
Listing his belongings in the trader is one of my favorites.
Also call all of the siding and window companies. Have them come out to give estimates.
[ August 08, 2003, 07:35 AM: Message edited by: Infomaniac ]

Ex-Con
08-08-2003, 06:39 AM
I had a friend make me 100 gay stickers that say:
"bust a nut in my butt"
or
"lesbienism: livin it, lovin it"
or
"GAY and DAM PROUD OF IT"
or "out of the closet & proud"
I keep a bunch in my glove box, when some idiot parks the SUV 4 inches from my car- they get one ont the back bumper, at work I have a bunch, when people park in my lot and then walk down to the post office, I run out and put one right in the middle of their passenger door. They wonder why people are smiling at them everytime they stop for a light.
I put the lesbien one on a neighbors car one night on the botton of the bumper and it was there almost a month. My wife would have to go inside everytime the old lady drove home to avoid laughing.....
Oh the possibilities!!!

Just Tool'n
08-08-2003, 06:45 AM
I would go and just "Kick his Ass"
but seriously, after the event in santa monica 1 month ago, maybe send a letter to the DMV about this guy, saying he needs to be rechecked that he is a dangerous driver, needs to have his drivers licensee revoked!
Just F*uck with him in was he will never know!

Chase
08-08-2003, 06:46 AM
RiverToysJas:
Put a bunch of dog shit on his front porch some night, then light his house on fire!!! wink
RTJas :D Put dog shit in a paper bag, place it on his front step, light it on fire , then ring the door bell and run...

Ex-Con
08-08-2003, 06:51 AM
Go into a fertilizer / compost place. Pay cash for 4 yards of steer manure and tell them to dump it in the driveway by the sidewalk like Fri afternoon that the workers are comming Sat morning. Should cost you about $40 and will be worth way more in laughs.
(have a friend go in & pay for it so you can't get id'd)

BADBLOWN572
08-08-2003, 08:31 AM
Back in college we had a guy living down the street from us who drove a rice rocket with a weed wacker exhaust on it. At night he would street race down our street waking everyone up. To pay him back, we found that he left his car open one night. Payback time! We took a bottle of baby powder, a funnel, and some medical tubing. We opened his car door, stuck the tube down his air conditioning vents, hooked the tube to the funnel and poured an entire bottle of baby powder down his air conditioning vents. When we left, we were very careful to wipe off any residue and to turn the air conditioning fan to high. We watched as he turned the ignition on and the air conditioner blew the powder all over the interior. He had black interior and was wearing black pants. When he got out of the car he looked like a snowman. He knew who did it, but couldn't prove it. The racing went away shortly after that.

BADBLOWN572
08-08-2003, 08:31 AM
oops double post
[ August 08, 2003, 09:57 AM: Message edited by: BADBLOWN572 ]

Ex-Con
08-08-2003, 08:43 AM
BadBlown- now thats a GREAT one!!
(I'm gonna have to try that one)

BADBLOWN572
08-08-2003, 08:46 AM
Just be careful...it is B&E.
Another good one is to go to Home Depot and get some 12-14" zip ties. Go under his car and take about 10 of them and zip tie them to his drive shaft. The faster the car goes, the faster the zip ties beat on the undercariage and it makes a wicked noise.
[ August 08, 2003, 09:56 AM: Message edited by: BADBLOWN572 ]

h2oski2fast
08-08-2003, 08:46 AM
My favorite is to cut all the valve stems off the tires for his car. Doesn't cost too much to fix, but what a pain in the ass. Also my Dad owned a sand and gravel biz. One day this guy pissed him off, so he took a full truckload of 3/4" rock and dumped it in the guy's driveway and there was a car in the garage. They couldn't even get the garage door open.

Moneypitt
08-08-2003, 08:56 AM
You don't need a key blank to screw up a cars door or ignition locks, just push a toothpick in as far as it will go, and break it off flush. It won't do any real damage, but they're a real bitch to get out as they continue to break off when you try to get them out..People that mess up other peoples lives are lower than pond scum! The really sad part is that most of them are so stupid they don't even know they're assholes!.....Moneypitt

Phat_Kat
08-08-2003, 09:16 AM
When I was about 8 years old my friend and I were riding our skate boards down the street and there's this old man that my mom claims is very nice walking down the street. Well we were both coming to an alley and I was going way to fast to slow down for him so I swerved out the alley exit and out across the street. My buddy Russ was just putting along and could slow down for the man. I stopped at the end of the block for Russ and looked back. Russ and the old man were coming up to eachother and Russ had a funny look on his face. Well next thing you know the old guys arm raises up and wacks Russ right up the head so hard that Russ flys off the board and right into a brick wall. The old guy just waddled away. I crossed the street over to the next block that Russ was on and Russ came rolling over to me. He stopped and yelled at the guy "you're gonna be in deep shit old man" and then fell right on his ass. The old man chuckled and to be honest I kinda did inside. The old guy had to have one hell of a punch to keep Russ dizzy enough to fall off a skateboard. Russ was known for having the best balance around on a skateboard. We went back to my house and we told my Mom what happened and she said "it couldn't be the same old man I'm thinking of you must be thinking of someone else!" We asked my mom where the little old man she knows of lived and she told us. We went over to Russ's mom and stepdad's house and told his stepdad what had happened. We had barely walked in the door and this guy had us in the car and over to the old guys house. Greg(Russ's Stepdad) stood about 6'6 and had a real bulky build and weighed in at about 240 in pure muscle. He knocked on the old mans door and about 10 seconds later I see the curtains move in the window. I told Greg what I saw and he said "well I can't break in so lets call the cops" The cop that showed up said that this guys had wacked quite a few kids that skateboard or rollerblade over the head in the last while. About a week later my mom and I drove by the old mans house and their was a cop car infront of the house. I looked in the driveway where the cops were and there was the old man with his arms spread like jesus on the cross DEAD AS A DOOR NAIL.

Ex-Con
08-08-2003, 09:20 AM
:confused: :confused: :confused:

Boozer
08-08-2003, 09:29 AM
Phat_Kat:
When I was about 8 years old my friend and I were riding our skate boards down the street and there's this old man that my mom claims is very nice walking down the street. Well we were both coming to an alley and I was going way to fast to slow down for him so I swerved out the alley exit and out across the street. My buddy Russ was just putting along and could slow down for the man. I stopped at the end of the block for Russ and looked back. Russ and the old man were coming up to eachother and Russ had a funny look on his face. Well next thing you know the old guys arm raises up and wacks Russ right up the head so hard that Russ flys off the board and right into a brick wall. The old guy just waddled away. I crossed the street over to the next block that Russ was on and Russ came rolling over to me. He stopped and yelled at the guy "you're gonna be in deep shit old man" and then fell right on his ass. The old man chuckled and to be honest I kinda did inside. The old guy had to have one hell of a punch to keep Russ dizzy enough to fall off a skateboard. Russ was known for having the best balance around on a skateboard. We went back to my house and we told my Mom what happened and she said "it couldn't be the same old man I'm thinking of you must be thinking of someone else!" We asked my mom where the little old man she knows of lived and she told us. We went over to Russ's mom and stepdad's house and told his stepdad what had happened. We had barely walked in the door and this guy had us in the car and over to the old guys house. Greg(Russ's Stepdad) stood about 6'6 and had a real bulky build and weighed in at about 240 in pure muscle. He knocked on the old mans door and about 10 seconds later I see the curtains move in the window. I told Greg what I saw and he said "well I can't break in so lets call the cops" The cop that showed up said that this guys had wacked quite a few kids that skateboard or rollerblade over the head in the last while. About a week later my mom and I drove by the old mans house and their was a cop car infront of the house. I looked in the driveway where the cops were and there was the old man with his arms spread like jesus on the cross DEAD AS A DOOR NAIL. So are you saying that JL should call the cops and then a week later put the guy on a cross and kill him?

eliminatedsprinter
08-08-2003, 10:39 AM
jlnorthrup122:
I have this neighbor who is probly in his sixties rite. Well they just moved in this summer and what ever they seem normal. But a month or so ago while I was gone the dude aproches my wife as she gets out of the car in our drivway with the kids and says some bullshit like he's watchen her so she better watch her speed and shit like that. So I take it with a grain of salt rite. well the wife complains about the guy slowing down real slow if he is driving in front of her all the time! Also my wife caught the guy teasing our dog when we put her out to go and do dog business. But any way the old bastard did the slow down piss off game in front of me today on my way home with the girls from the sitter rite so (this guy lives accrost the sreet from us) I wait untill my driveway is in sight and pass his slow ass and block my driveway so the punk can't use it to back into his drive and the ****ing puke looks at me and is all like Hey there friend and shit And I know this guy is playing pissoff games with me and my wife because of what he does. I would really like to nock the ****er out but he is old and I don't think that would be cool. So what would you do in this situation to put an end to the bullshit? Honestly, I say ignore it. Whats it cost you, a few seconds? :confused: If he is playing games and it does not get a rise out of you he will most likly give up. If by some chance he drives slowly all the time, because his reflexes have slowed with age you will look like a fool, if you get you drawers all in a bunch over it. He is probably a bit kooky and responding to him negetively may just egg him on or cause him to up the anti. Of course, due to his age you will most likely loose big time in court if anything even remotly resembling a physical altercation occures. I don't usually curse on these boards but this is your home and you don't want to shit where you live. :cool: Play this very cool he may be nuts. :cool:
[ August 08, 2003, 11:40 AM: Message edited by: eliminatedsprinter ]

Phat_Kat
08-08-2003, 10:40 AM
Boozer:
Phat_Kat:
When I was about 8 years old my friend and I were riding our skate boards down the street and there's this old man that my mom claims is very nice walking down the street. Well we were both coming to an alley and I was going way to fast to slow down for him so I swerved out the alley exit and out across the street. My buddy Russ was just putting along and could slow down for the man. I stopped at the end of the block for Russ and looked back. Russ and the old man were coming up to eachother and Russ had a funny look on his face. Well next thing you know the old guys arm raises up and wacks Russ right up the head so hard that Russ flys off the board and right into a brick wall. The old guy just waddled away. I crossed the street over to the next block that Russ was on and Russ came rolling over to me. He stopped and yelled at the guy "you're gonna be in deep shit old man" and then fell right on his ass. The old man chuckled and to be honest I kinda did inside. The old guy had to have one hell of a punch to keep Russ dizzy enough to fall off a skateboard. Russ was known for having the best balance around on a skateboard. We went back to my house and we told my Mom what happened and she said "it couldn't be the same old man I'm thinking of you must be thinking of someone else!" We asked my mom where the little old man she knows of lived and she told us. We went over to Russ's mom and stepdad's house and told his stepdad what had happened. We had barely walked in the door and this guy had us in the car and over to the old guys house. Greg(Russ's Stepdad) stood about 6'6 and had a real bulky build and weighed in at about 240 in pure muscle. He knocked on the old mans door and about 10 seconds later I see the curtains move in the window. I told Greg what I saw and he said "well I can't break in so lets call the cops" The cop that showed up said that this guys had wacked quite a few kids that skateboard or rollerblade over the head in the last while. About a week later my mom and I drove by the old mans house and their was a cop car infront of the house. I looked in the driveway where the cops were and there was the old man with his arms spread like jesus on the cross DEAD AS A DOOR NAIL. So are you saying that JL should call the cops and then a week later put the guy on a cross and kill him? no I just wanted to share some childhood memories :D :D :D :D :D

BADBLOWN572
08-08-2003, 10:48 AM
The best thing to do is to do little things that get under his skin but cause no damage. Just be a pest that he can guess who it is, but can't prove it. If you need any extra ideas I have a ton of them. Product of a mis-spent youth.

MagicMtnDan
08-08-2003, 11:16 AM
This will take some scouting but could be well worth the time and trouble.
It requires an item that is not readily available and none too fun to deal with once you find it. First, a trip to Wal-Mart to purchase a collar and a leash. Then start scouting, driving up and down streets, roads, and highways for hours until you find what you're looking for. What you're looking for was roadkill, specifically a dog.
Next step, find someone willing to put the collar and leash on the poor dog. You probably have a few friends who are crazier than you are and would do just about anything, so that won't be a problem.
Go out around 3:00 in the morning, and pay a visit to your neighbor. Tie the end of the leash around onto the bumper (or axles) so it doesn't come loose. Then balance the dead dog on the back of the car (or axle)so that it won't fall off until your "friend" has driven at least a block or two or hit a good speed bump.
The guy will end up looking like a real asshole driving down the street, dragging the carcass of man's best friend Fido, possibly even attracting the attention of a cop or serious animal lover, possibly getting charge with cruelty to animals.
That should be good for a lifetime of laughs as you retell the story to your buddies and everyone on the board.

Boozer
08-08-2003, 11:21 AM
MagicMtnDan:
This will take some scouting but could be well worth the time and trouble.
It requires an item that is not readily available and none too fun to deal with once you find it. First, a trip to Wal-Mart to purchase a collar and a leash. Then start scouting, driving up and down streets, roads, and highways for hours until you find what you're looking for. What you're looking for was roadkill, specifically a dog.
Next step, find someone willing to put the collar and leash on the poor dog. You probably have a few friends who are crazier than you are and would do just about anything, so that won't be a problem.
Go out around 3:00 in the morning, and pay a visit to your neighbor. Tie the end of the leash around onto the bumper (or axles) so it doesn't come loose. Then balance the dead dog on the back of the car (or axle)so that it won't fall off until your "friend" has driven at least a block or two or hit a good speed bump.
The guy will end up looking like a real asshole driving down the street, dragging the carcass of man's best friend Fido, possibly even attracting the attention of a cop or serious animal lover, possibly getting charge with cruelty to animals.
That should be good for a lifetime of laughs as you retell the story to your buddies and everyone on the board. Now that is down right funny. I WILL without a doubt do this one day. Man O man will that be jacked up. I'll make sure to follow the old man in a car he wont recognize and video tape the whole thing.

MagicMtnDan
08-08-2003, 11:22 AM
Here's another winner - maybe one of the greatest all time but it can be tough to do - it's worth the wait that's for sure.
Wait until your neighbor goes into a portapotty, sneak up behind the portapotty quietly and tip it over so that it lands flat on the door. Since he'll be inside he can't see who did it. Your neighbor will be swimming in human waste and the best part is that unless he's Superman, it is virtually impossible for him to get out by himself.
If you do this, make sure that you stick around for a couple of minutes to make sure you didn't knock the old guy out when you tipped him over. Not only for that reason but it's also quite entertaining to listen to him desperately struggle to get out and shout out various death threats and vulgar language. Obviously you'll hear screaming and yelling when he realizes what he's bathing in and that's a good sign that he'll be safe but VERY unhappy.
You can get the opportunity to do this - just wait for an outdoor concert or fair to come to town - they always have portapotties. Most theme parks do too. All you have to do is make sure he drinks alot of fluid that day and in due time mother nature is in on the prank!
[ August 08, 2003, 12:24 PM: Message edited by: MagicMtnDan ]

Ex-Con
08-08-2003, 12:25 PM
Did the porta potty once- might be a bit violent to do now...
But the dead dog is one for the books!!!!!! I gotta try that one!! Give me a week or 2, I'll get video- it should fall off the axel after backing down the driveway, that video will be cool.

jackpunx
08-08-2003, 01:26 PM
I’m all for the dogshit in a bag on the door.. or burn outs up and down the st.. But keep in mind.. he is an old grumpy man.. His life sux.. His wife nags him all day long.. and his dick doesn’t work anymore.. I think if you do nothing.. You will always be one up on him.. as long as he doesn’t disrespect you or your wife.. And especially in front of your kids.. Maybe pull him aside, hand him a beer.. and smile.. as you tell him if you ever catch him even looking towards you.. His wife will have his house to her self..
PS.. He could be some kids grandpa..
I don’t think its worth beating his ass… just my humble opinion..
But if you do fill up his driveway with rocks.. Make sure you post a pic..
Good luck
:D

BajaMike
08-08-2003, 01:34 PM
BadBlown....I'm going to remember the baby powder trick....that could come in handy!
Mike

jlnorthrup122
08-08-2003, 02:04 PM
You guys rock I like all these Ideas Think I will let things cool down then **** with him a little. There's some funny ass shit in here!

Boozer
08-08-2003, 02:08 PM
If all else fails get some BIG HUGE bags of salt and salt a pentagram into his front yard. That should get the point across. Or salt a swazica into his yard. 45 lbs of salt is good for a 15' diamater design and that shit WILL burn his grass.

Ex-Con
08-08-2003, 02:16 PM
Mabey better than salt:
Put some RoundUp in a sprayer, walk over there and draw a giant COCK & NUTS in his lawn. It will take days to turn yellow, but damn it'll be funny to watch....

Ziggy
08-08-2003, 02:26 PM
Getting pissed or reacting to his crappy behavior only fuels him to continue it. Smile back at him and say have a great day with your wife and hand him a beer. He won't know what to think and sooner or later will give up.
But I got to say, some of those pranks are classic, the baby powder one and trader ad one=1st rate :D

BADBLOWN572
08-08-2003, 02:40 PM
Baja, we also did that one to a fraternity house back in college. The house was empty so we went inside and removed all of the a/c vents. Put a bottle of baby powder in each vent in the house. I never saw the aftermath, but I can imagine that it was definitely a nice cleanup.
As for the Roundup, go to the closest farm supply store and get commercial Roundup concentrate. Take the whole bottle and put it in a Super Soaker. Go over and draw in their grass with the super soaker. The concentrate is so potent that the soil beneath the grass will absorb the chemicals and not allow the grass to grow back fo a long, long time.
Another one that is kinda fun with minimal destruction is to take a pie tin full of marbles and put epoxy putty around the rim and stick it to the underside of the car. Every time they accelerate the marbles will slide around making a large amount of noise. If you don't have a pie tin, pull off the hubcaps and put the marbles (or rocks) inside of the hub caps. That works pretty well too.
[ August 08, 2003, 03:50 PM: Message edited by: BADBLOWN572 ]

BADBLOWN572
08-08-2003, 02:58 PM
I keep thinking of the things that I used to do when someone pissed me off and I keep remembering all sorts of crazy things that I did way back when. Go to a fish market and get one pound of squid. Put it in a paper bag and stick it near his bedroom window or somewhere that they will freequent (we did it behind the back seat of this idiot's suburban). Give it a couple of days in the heat and it will start to stink. The best thing is if you can get it in an enclosed area is that the smell saturates whatever is in the area. The guy we did it to had to have the carpet, headliner, seats, and every other fabric piece of the car shampooed about 3-4 times and then air fresheners all throughout the car. Instead of smelling like fish, it smelled like you were in the middle of a pine forrest.
If you want to get "brave"/stupid...flash flood the idiot. Take a trash can and fill it up 1/2 way full of water (or grass) and during the middle of the night lean it up against his front door. When they open the door, the weight of the trash can will force the door open and dump the contents of the trash can into the house. Be careful of water because it can cause water damage.

Ex-Con
08-08-2003, 03:00 PM
This has been a fun one today guys!!
Be sure and keep us posted on what if any "pranks" you play on the guy, can't wait.

Ex-Con
08-08-2003, 03:04 PM
Bad Blown- that was my 1st suggestion (on page 1) done that one a bunch- the key is to be far enough to see the con'o'water fall but far enough away to run.... read my other 6 on page 1, I like your "dead dog" idea myself, that's on my list to try!!

Back Forty
08-08-2003, 03:13 PM
Beat him at a friendly match of head games. I was having this problem with an old fart like yours for a while on my way home from work every evening. Come to find out, several of my friends were having to deal the same old bastard. If you are going to F*ck with somebody, don't show them where you live is all I can say. The group of us ran the old bastards trash cans over every week for a good year, ran his mail box over, did big smokey burnouts out of his driveway at late hours of the night and left goodies for him in his driveway on various occasions. Revenge is best served on a cold plate! Tie a small cable from his car to one of his decrative lighting fixtures out side of his garage. Keep the routing discrete. This way the old coot tears his own shit up!

Ex-Con
08-08-2003, 03:24 PM
Thats what people are doing in Irvine to that Judge Ron Klein that got arrested with the kiddie porn, I hear his Irvine house has been constantly trashed, and he is having trouble getting help from the police- imagine that......
Put one of those remote control FART MACHINES under his bedroom window and make the thing toot all night- I bet he goes outside a few times to see who is there and if ya hide it good in the bushes could provide DAYS OF LAUGHS!!

MANIC MECHANIC
08-08-2003, 03:57 PM
Don't stoop to stupid s**t that will usually only escalate or worse yet-land you in jail. I have a friend that once threatened an old s**t like you're talking about with a piece of pipe. The old man fell down screaming bloody murder and claimed that my friend had hit him-even came up with bruises. My friend ended up spending a year in jail. ... I once had a guy that lived down the road from me pissed off at me, he would drive by my house in his VW bug and shut the ignition off and turn it back on, causing a huge backfire. I went down to his house and confronted him one night and told him that if he didn't knock it off I would take him to court. He said "prove it". When I informed him that I had video of him doing it, his jaw hit the floor! He never did that again! :D Tim