View Full Version : Men/Restrooms/Reading Materials?????
91nordic29
08-20-2003, 10:16 AM
since we have a surplus of men here, i have to ask...
why do men think it is acceptable to walk down the hallway, at work, headed towards the bathroom with a magazine/newspaper, etc.. in their back pocket or under their arm??? do they have no modesty?
TheLurker
08-20-2003, 10:20 AM
Honest answer NO
Rod-64
08-20-2003, 10:21 AM
Hey....That's when we do our best reading...that's our sanctuary...that's the off-limits place where NO ONE should bother you. Hell sometime ya read so much you can't move off the can cuz your legs are numb and there's no more feeling from the hips down. :D
HighRoller
08-20-2003, 10:29 AM
I don't understand how anyone can read during a complex maneuver like that.I mean you gotta orchestrate various substances coming out of various locations at differing velocities into a small receptacle.I prefer to take care of my business and be done with it.Anyone who is sitting on the can reading is wasting time.You can read once you go back to your desk and waste the boss' time!!
Rod-64
08-20-2003, 10:34 AM
Complex manuever?? You need to buy a box or two of Raisen Bran High Roller. :D :D
superdave013
08-20-2003, 10:38 AM
91nordic29:
do they have no modesty? uhhhhhhhhhh, we're pigs and we have no modesty. :p
Seadog
08-20-2003, 10:43 AM
What does modesty have to do with it? Men do not go to the facilities to look in the mirror. If they are there less than three minutes, they were standing the whole time.
HighRoller
08-20-2003, 10:54 AM
Another thing I don't understand is how some of these guys have no restraint with the noises they make.I mean some guys sound like their doing the clean and jerk while getting a blow job!!Agony and grunting followed by ecstasy and relief.That's why fans,music and full length doors should be mandated by law in all restrooms. I don't need to hear Dewayne battling to give birth to a stink pickle in between puffs of his lucky strike.
Blown 472
08-20-2003, 10:55 AM
That is the best place to read, and if what you got it boring you can pass it under the stall and see what the other guy is reading.
superdave013
08-20-2003, 10:58 AM
HighRoller:
I don't need to hear Dewayne battling to give birth to a stink pickle in between puffs of his lucky strike. LMAO!!
Ziggy
08-20-2003, 11:04 AM
public rooms are a in and out as fast as possible move...to many weird noises in the adjoining stalls eek!
in the comforts of home its still much the same without the extra noises...there's a much more comfortable place to sit and read than a hardwood oval.
Doug H.
08-20-2003, 11:08 AM
Very funny shit here :D but so true, what makes it even funnier is walking to the sanctuary with magazine in hand or pocket everyone knows where your going and what your about to embark "there goes Richard again, he'll be back in 20min" and yes your lower extreminities get numb, how true :D
Posey
08-20-2003, 11:16 AM
Hell, some guys have a magazine rack and telephone next to their thunder mug :rolleyes:
MagicMtnDan
08-20-2003, 11:39 AM
Women don't understand this because they're constipated 95% of the time and when they're not they can let loose and be done with their business in the time it takes to crack open a magazine.
Pinching a loaf for a man is not a $hit-n-run proposition. You gotta get the bowels relaxed and let the lower intestine do its thing.
Why sit there and look at the disgusting floor or walls when you can check out the latest Hot Boat, Playboy, newspaper, or just about anything that's laying around with words on it.
But I'll bet women turn around and check the bowl trophy just like men do before flushing. jawdrop
[ August 20, 2003, 12:40 PM: Message edited by: MagicMtnDan ]
NorCal Gameshow
08-20-2003, 11:42 AM
"droppin' the stink pickle into a thunder mug...."
LMAO :D :D :D
blownmoney
08-20-2003, 11:49 AM
Hey....That's when we do our best reading...that's our sanctuary...that's the off-limits place where NO ONE should bother you. Hell sometime ya read so much you can't move off the can cuz your legs are numb and there's no more feeling from the hips down. to funny!!! :D :D
NorCal Gameshow
08-20-2003, 11:56 AM
MagicMtnDan:
check the bowl trophy another quality quote... SLMMFAO :D :D :D
91nordic29
08-20-2003, 12:15 PM
also, why do men have to put their pants all the way down to their ankles resting them on the eek! floor?
my boss wet to a meeting once with dust across his butt because i was to embarrassed to tell him they were dusty! i knew how they got that way because 15 minutes before, he went off to the bathroom with a magazine in his back pocket!
Blown 472
08-20-2003, 12:17 PM
91nordic29:
also, why do men have to put their pants all the way down to their ankles resting them on the eek! floor?
my boss wet to a meeting once with dust across his butt because i was to embarrassed to tell him they were dusty! i knew how they got that way because 15 minutes before, he went off to the bathroom with a magazine in his back pocket! That is just wrong, cuz there is piss on the floor, my stuff dont touch the floor, I use window cleaner on the seat, and a cock bib.
91nordic29
08-20-2003, 12:17 PM
i think you are supposed to do that because of possible medical conditions.(?) :D
91nordic29
08-20-2003, 12:19 PM
is that the same as an "ass gasket'?
Blown 472
08-20-2003, 12:21 PM
91nordic29:
is that the same as an "ass gasket'? Nope, you but some folded up tp in the front of the bowl at the split so your junk dont rub the inside of the bowl.
miller19j
08-20-2003, 12:35 PM
91nordic29:
is that the same as an "ass gasket'? My grandfather invented the Ass Gasket. No I am not kidding he actually did. :rolleyes:
91nordic29
08-20-2003, 12:59 PM
miller19j:
91nordic29:
is that the same as an "ass gasket'? My grandfather invented the Ass Gasket. No I am not kidding he actually did. :rolleyes: really? how did that come about? love to hear the story "behind" that one. wink
miller19j
08-20-2003, 01:02 PM
91nordic29:
really? how did that come about? love to hear the story "behind" that one. wink Actually the above is a typo it was my great grandfather. I dont know all the details but apparently he was ahead of his time. He couldnt find any interest and eventually sold the idea for next to nothing. And the rest is history.
carbonmarine
08-20-2003, 01:21 PM
....... So I am in a hurry and I sprint into the "shit temple" and throw an "ass gasket" down over the "Thunder mugg" before I commit a " jihad in my shorts " and I then continue on to drop a Stink Pickle... low and behold I have a
" Bowl Trophy " for the next soul to see....?
Is that about right ?
Rick32
91nordic29
08-20-2003, 01:25 PM
you left out the "bibb" wink :D
carbonmarine
08-20-2003, 01:31 PM
Oh ! Sorry, .. Your right Ass gasket / Cock Bibb.
Actually, I just like to use them for their original intended purpose of :
** CINCO DE MAYO HATS **
Rick32 :D :D
miller19j
08-20-2003, 01:32 PM
And he forgot to wipe his ass with some Shit Tickets :D
91nordic29
08-20-2003, 01:33 PM
oh dear! :p
MagicMtnDan
08-20-2003, 01:34 PM
carbonmarine:
....... So I am in a hurry and I sprint into the "shit temple" and throw an "ass gasket" down over the "Thunder mugg" before I commit a " jihad in my shorts " and I then continue on to drop a Stink Pickle... low and behold I have a
" Bowl Trophy " for the next soul to see....?
Is that about right ?
Rick32 Maybe "pinch a loaf and drop a stink pickle" eek!
Ass gasket = Democratic campaign hats. :D
Rod-64
08-20-2003, 02:12 PM
Even if you're laying cable with a real bowl-winder, a guy will read a shampoo bottle 23 times if that's all that's around! :D
91nordic29
08-20-2003, 02:45 PM
Rod-64:
Even if you're laying cable with a real bowl-winder, a guy will read a shampoo bottle 23 times if that's all that's around! :D guys have the funniest names/phrases for things!!
i bet you guys can even talk about this stuff while you are eating lunch! jawdrop
Rod-64
08-20-2003, 03:00 PM
91nordic29:
Rod-64:
Even if you're laying cable with a real bowl-winder, a guy will read a shampoo bottle 23 times if that's all that's around! :D guys have the funniest names/phrases for things!!
i bet you guys can even talk about this stuff while you are eating lunch! jawdrop Yes...even while eating a fudgsicle! :D
MagicMtnDan
08-20-2003, 03:15 PM
http://www.snehula.com/funny/8/pic-toxic%20fumes.jpg
Rod-64
08-20-2003, 03:21 PM
MagicMtnDan:
http://www.snehula.com/funny/8/pic-toxic%20fumes.jpg HEY!!! That's the kind of shorts I need!! :D :D
[ August 20, 2003, 04:21 PM: Message edited by: Rod-64 ]
91nordic29
08-20-2003, 03:29 PM
where do you guys find these things!! LOL :D :D :D
DogHouse
08-20-2003, 06:53 PM
I always get a laugh out of the people who have all these rules & regs about "proper" bathroom etiquette. I say get in there and do whatever it is you gotta do, public restroom or not! If you got business to take care of, let 'er rip... I won't think any less of ya! Who are we to get in the way of nature's call?
:D
VillainDave
08-20-2003, 07:12 PM
HighRoller:
Another thing I don't understand is how some of these guys have no restraint with the noises they make.I mean some guys sound like their doing the clean and jerk while getting a blow job!!Agony and grunting followed by ecstasy and relief.That's why fans,music and full length doors should be mandated by law in all restrooms. I don't need to hear Dewayne battling to give birth to a stink pickle in between puffs of his lucky strike. :D :D LMAOF
beyondhelpin
08-20-2003, 08:15 PM
Even more perplexing is why do we have to turn around and look at it? :D
[ August 20, 2003, 09:18 PM: Message edited by: beyondhelpin ]
bigkatboat
08-20-2003, 09:25 PM
Is this the Fishing Report Forum? I heard there are a lot of speckled brown trout around here. They make a BIG splash when they jump.
mtndewdrops
08-20-2003, 09:54 PM
HighRoller:
I don't need to hear Dewayne battling to give birth to a stink pickle in between puffs of his lucky strike. LMFAO...I think I have crossed paths with Dewayne.
Rod-64:
Even if you're laying cable with a real bowl-winder, a guy will read a shampoo bottle 23 times if that's all that's around! :D Been there done that.
IMHO
The king is just a man without his THRONE.
Seadog
08-21-2003, 06:00 AM
What I want to know is what is with the female preoccupation with making it smell like you haven't done anything or you somehow blew flowers out. My SIL is always yelling at me to use the Glade. Hell, I give warning with the magazine!
75_Elim
08-21-2003, 07:11 AM
I have to agree with HighRoller.... The doors need to be full length, there should be music and also plenty of fans. Here at my office we have a few people that sound like a frikin wounded bear in those stalls. All breathing hard, bumping the walls, grunting....It's kinda uncomfortable to hear all that when I'm trying to "Drop the Kids off at the pool", "Take the Browns to the Super Bowl" "Restock the pond with Brown Trout"....You know, Fire tubes 1 and 2 :D I need QUIET !!! Thank You :D
91nordic29
08-21-2003, 07:29 AM
women will wait (sweating bullets) until the last person has left the room before they go. sometimes it is like a stand off and you have to resort to the "courtesy flush" method. eek!
FIREMAN
08-21-2003, 07:34 AM
Here at the Firehouse we have subscriptions to Penthouse and Playboy. Gotta Have good reading material.
Froggystyle
08-21-2003, 11:21 AM
As I sat here reading these, I kept getting what I was going to comment stepped on. I.E the Shampoo bottle. Been there, read that. How about the towel tag though? Who hear has had to see that the towel was 100% cotton.
If I had a dollar for every time I re-engineered a shit-ticket roll dispenser while stocking the porcelain bus with some cornback trout, I wouldn't have to build boats!
Now, let's talk about activities we partake in while waiting for the room to stop spinning in between "technicolor yawns" after a hard night of drinking! wink
I personally check to see how cool the tile floor is with my forehead. Then with my cheek. I kind of move around until I find the coolest spot too.
carbonmarine
08-25-2003, 02:59 PM
91nordic29:
women will wait (sweating bullets) until the last person has left the room before they go. sometimes it is like a stand off and you have to resort to the "courtesy flush" method. eek! I came home from Jamaica with the ex last year and Queen Letiffa was sitting right next to us... Anyhow, we get through customs at LAX and were waiting for bagage, The ex says she going to the bath room and when she returns her face is pale as a Ghost..... Turns out, while in the restroom... Queen Letiffa comes running in, slams the door on one of the stahls and let huge DEWAYNE out , minus the lucky stike.......
I was laughing .........I think we've all been there with a few close calls.. Everytime I see teh Queen Poooper now, I cant help but think of that story. I wonder if women toss their Choooonnies in the trash as much as guys do.....laughs...
Rick32
Posey:
Hell, some guys have a magazine rack and telephone next to their thunder mug :rolleyes: I know a guy how has a 22"LCD tv in front of his throne.....
Anyone need an airpurifier (http://forums.***boat.net/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=15;t=005989) ? :D
uclahater
08-25-2003, 03:46 PM
carbonmarine:
....... So I am in a hurry and I sprint into the "shit temple" and throw an "ass gasket" down over the "Thunder mugg" before I commit a " jihad in my shorts " and I then continue on to drop a Stink Pickle... low and behold I have a
" Bowl Trophy " for the next soul to see....?
Is that about right ?
lmmfaotid
Rick32
HammerDown
08-25-2003, 04:51 PM
uclahater:
carbonmarine:
....... So I am in a hurry and I sprint into the "shit temple" and throw an "ass gasket" down over the "Thunder mugg" before I commit a " jihad in my shorts " and I then continue on to drop a Stink Pickle... low and behold I have a
" Bowl Trophy " for the next soul to see....?
Is that about right ?
lmmfaotid
Rick32 A "Stink Pickle"...I'm in pain from LMAO! :D
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