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View Full Version : Things you would love to say!



Jbb
04-24-2003, 05:48 AM
-Things You'd Love to Say But Don't
1) I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2) I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3) How about never? Is never good for you?
4) I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5) I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6) I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7) I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8) I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9) It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10) Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11) I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12) You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13) I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
14) I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15) I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16) Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17) The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18) Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19) What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20) I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21) It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22) Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23) And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
24) Do I look like a people person?
25) This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26) I started out with nothing & still have most of it left!
27) Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28) If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29) Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30) Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed it.
31) I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32) A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33) Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34) Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
35) How do I set a laser printer to stun?
36) I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
37) File that under "Never".

Blown 472
04-24-2003, 05:50 AM
and at a job interview when they say "Why should we hire you"? "If you dont I will kick your ass"

Sleek-Jet
04-24-2003, 06:02 AM
Your opinion and criticism is valued and will be processed through the proper channels. One flush usually does it.

gigamurph
04-24-2003, 04:50 PM
Yo JBB! That looks more like a list of things da gig has said when he was feelin' unusually kind and considerate! Ya missed one though:
38) You remind me of someone I went to school with (or used to know; or used to work with; or used to date; etc., etc. etc.). I didn't like them either.
:D

DickDanger
04-24-2003, 05:54 PM
Person #1 "Hey, why are you in such a good mood today?"
Person #2 "Well, I have been seeing this woman that is GREAT in bed, and she is a 3 input girl to boot!!!"
Person #1 "Do I know this *****?"
Person #2 "Not only do you know her, I was going to ask you if you minded giving your daughter a ride to my house tonight!!!"
-DD Out
[ April 24, 2003, 06:55 PM: Message edited by: DickDanger ]

FMluvswater
04-24-2003, 09:53 PM
First time I've laughed all day. That was great, JBB. :)

mickeyfinn
04-24-2003, 11:34 PM
I like this one when dealing with someone from customer service and not getting the answer I am looking for...Works with tech support sometimes also..
"Will you please allow me to speak to someone who has either intelligence or authority since yo seem to have neither?"

stix818
04-25-2003, 12:47 AM
1. Damn my boat's fast (oh I already say that).
2. I won (anything that has a winner).