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09-06-2003, 05:47 PM
Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need
to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the
exam and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally
prepared for the test, and best of all, you can do these simple
practice exercises right in your home.
EXERCISE 1:
Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door
and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door
shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.
Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first
time wasn't effective enough.
EXERCISE 2:
Visit your garage at 3 AM when the temperature of the cement floor
is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on
the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car.
Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your Breast is sufficiently
flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat for the other breast.
EXERCISE 3:
Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a
stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your
breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set an
appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.
You are now properly prepared.
to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the
exam and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally
prepared for the test, and best of all, you can do these simple
practice exercises right in your home.
EXERCISE 1:
Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door
and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door
shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.
Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first
time wasn't effective enough.
EXERCISE 2:
Visit your garage at 3 AM when the temperature of the cement floor
is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on
the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car.
Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your Breast is sufficiently
flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat for the other breast.
EXERCISE 3:
Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a
stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your
breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set an
appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.
You are now properly prepared.