mickeyfinn
04-30-2003, 04:06 PM
This may start a lot of s#*( but should be fun. Lets hear your favorite men/women jokes.
I think I'm in trouble all ready.
Why do all brides wear white?
All kitchen appliances come in white
********************************************
Why are there so many homes for battered women?
Because they just don't ****ing listen!!
**********************************************
A little off topic but........
What's the best thing about an Ethiopian blowjob?
You know she'll swallow!
***********************************************
John receives a phone call. "Hello," he answers. The voice on the other end says, "This is Susan. We met at a party about 3 months ago."
John: "Hmm... Susan? About 3 months ago?"
Susan: "Yes, it was at Bill's house. After the party you took me home. On the way we parked and got into the back seat. You told me I was a good sport."
John: "Oh, yeah! Susan! How are you?"
Susan: "I'm pregnant and I'm going to kill myself."
John: "Say, you ARE a good sport."
*********************************************
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled upon an old
lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie
said "OK. OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah, blah. This
is the 4th time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these
wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish! The man
sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to
go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you
build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?" The
genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. think of the logistics of
that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific?
Think of how much concrete . . how much steel!! No, think of another
wish!" The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish.
Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My
wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I
wish that I could understand women . . . know how they feel inside and
what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment . .
.know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say,
'nothing' . . . know how to make them truly happy . . ." The genie
said, "You want that bridge with two lanes or four?
**********************************************
how do you make a dishwasher a snowblower?
Give your wife a shovel
I think I'm in trouble all ready.
Why do all brides wear white?
All kitchen appliances come in white
********************************************
Why are there so many homes for battered women?
Because they just don't ****ing listen!!
**********************************************
A little off topic but........
What's the best thing about an Ethiopian blowjob?
You know she'll swallow!
***********************************************
John receives a phone call. "Hello," he answers. The voice on the other end says, "This is Susan. We met at a party about 3 months ago."
John: "Hmm... Susan? About 3 months ago?"
Susan: "Yes, it was at Bill's house. After the party you took me home. On the way we parked and got into the back seat. You told me I was a good sport."
John: "Oh, yeah! Susan! How are you?"
Susan: "I'm pregnant and I'm going to kill myself."
John: "Say, you ARE a good sport."
*********************************************
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled upon an old
lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie
said "OK. OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah, blah. This
is the 4th time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these
wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish! The man
sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to
go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you
build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?" The
genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. think of the logistics of
that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific?
Think of how much concrete . . how much steel!! No, think of another
wish!" The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish.
Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My
wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I
wish that I could understand women . . . know how they feel inside and
what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment . .
.know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say,
'nothing' . . . know how to make them truly happy . . ." The genie
said, "You want that bridge with two lanes or four?
**********************************************
how do you make a dishwasher a snowblower?
Give your wife a shovel