HavasuDreamin'
01-17-2003, 07:27 AM
This was sent to me in an email! :D The last two instructions for the female crack me up! :D :p
A sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
"Please note that this Bank is installing new "Drive-through" teller machines.
Customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To
enable customers to use this new facility the following procedures have been
drawn up. Please read the procedure that applies to your own circumstances, MALE
or FEMALE, and remember them when you use the machine for the first time."
MALE PROCEDURE
1 Drive up to the cash machine.
2 Put down your car window.
3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4 Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5 Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6 Put window up
7 Drive off
FEMALE PROCEDURE
1 Drive up to cash machine
2 Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window to machine
3 Set parking Brake, put the window down
4 Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5 Turn the radio down
6 Attempt to insert card into machine
7 Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance
from the car
8 Insert card
9 Re-insert card the right way up
10 Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back
page
11 Enter PIN.
12 Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13 Enter amount of cash required
14 Check make up in rear view mirror
15 Retrieve cash and receipt
16 Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside
17 Place receipt in back of checkbook
18 Re-check make-up again
19 Drive forward 2 feet
20 Reverse back to cash machine
21 Retrieve card
22 Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided
23 Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male driver queuing behind
24 Restart stalled engine and pull off
25 Drive for 2 to 3 miles
26 Release Parking Brake
A sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
"Please note that this Bank is installing new "Drive-through" teller machines.
Customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To
enable customers to use this new facility the following procedures have been
drawn up. Please read the procedure that applies to your own circumstances, MALE
or FEMALE, and remember them when you use the machine for the first time."
MALE PROCEDURE
1 Drive up to the cash machine.
2 Put down your car window.
3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4 Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5 Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6 Put window up
7 Drive off
FEMALE PROCEDURE
1 Drive up to cash machine
2 Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window to machine
3 Set parking Brake, put the window down
4 Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5 Turn the radio down
6 Attempt to insert card into machine
7 Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance
from the car
8 Insert card
9 Re-insert card the right way up
10 Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back
page
11 Enter PIN.
12 Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13 Enter amount of cash required
14 Check make up in rear view mirror
15 Retrieve cash and receipt
16 Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside
17 Place receipt in back of checkbook
18 Re-check make-up again
19 Drive forward 2 feet
20 Reverse back to cash machine
21 Retrieve card
22 Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided
23 Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male driver queuing behind
24 Restart stalled engine and pull off
25 Drive for 2 to 3 miles
26 Release Parking Brake