FMluvswater
05-06-2003, 06:27 PM
Rated NC-17/R
A farmer sat his three teenaged
sons down and told them they
needed to learn the value of
livestock and the value of money.
He gave each of them a duck and
told them to go sell their ducks for
as much money as possible.
Whoever made the most money
could keep the money and wouldn't
have to do chores for a week.
The three boys headed to town each
determined to make the most money.
The eldest boy went to the local petshop
and really gave a hard sell to make it
sound like the duck was a spectacular
pet so the shop owner caved, grudgingly
gave the boy ten dollars for the duck and
sent him on his way.
Meantime the middle
boy went to the backdoor of the most
expensive restaurant in town and offered
up the duck to the chef. After a brief heated
discussion the chef relented and bought the
duck for fifteen dollars and shooed the boy
away.
Meantime the youngest boy was still
looking for someone to buy his duck. He
wasn't having any sort of luck at all. With his
head hanging in defeat he began his long trek
back to the farm still clutching his duck. It was
a particularly hot day and about half way home
he was feeling mighty thirsty so he stopped off
at another farm to ask for a drink. An attractive
woman in her late 30's answered the door. He
politely asked for a drink of water. She saw
how hot and tired he was and invited him in
for lemonade instead. She asked about the
duck and he explained the situation. She
confided to him that she was recently widowed
and very lonely. She explained all she could
spare for the duck was $5 but if he was
interested she'd have sex with him as well.
The boy was pleasantly surprised by this offer
and they went at it. Afterward the woman
looked at him and made him another offer.
He could keep the $5 and she'd give him the
duck back so he could get a better price on
it if he was willing to have sex with her again.
He happily agreed and they went at it again.
He left the farmhouse grinning with $5 dollars
in his pocket and he still had the duck. A big
old truck came barrelling down the dirt road
and the noise panicked the duck. It got away
from him and wound up being hit and killed.
The driver stopped to see what he had hit and
saw it was just a duck. He shrugged and was
about to climb back into his vehicle without
speaking to the young man. The young man
was pissed because now he had no chance
in hell of selling his duck. He yelled to the driver,
"Hey! You killed my duck! Do you have any clue
at all how much that duck means to me? How
could you just kill my duck and walk away like
it's nothing?"
The driver was startled by the outburst and
felt a little guilty,
"Gee sonny I'm real sorry 'bout yer duck. I
don't know what else to say. Kin ya git
yerself another one or sumthin' mebbe? How
much it cost nowadays for a brand new duck?
Will $10 do it?"
The boy wiped at the sweat running down
his face and sniffled loudly,
"It's just not the same. That duck was really
special to me!"
The driver just wanted to ease his own guilt
so he said,
"I unnerstan that sonny and aggin I'm real
durn sorry bout yer duck and all. How's about
I give ya $20? Mebbe ya could buy two ducks
then and they could have baby ducks and
ya'd feel better? Whaddaya say sonny? Okay?"
The young man nodded grudgingly and
accepted the $20. As he stooped to pick
up the carcass of the dead duck he watched
the driver speed away and muttered to himself,
"What a sucker!".
He then continued home
to see how his brothers had fared. His dad
and brother's immediately noticed the dead
duck he was carrying and his brothers
started to snicker. Their dad hushed them
and turned to the eldest,
"So son what did you get for your duck?"
The eldest proudly slapped a $10 bill on the
table. The father smiled and proudly clapped
him on the shoulder.He turned to his middle son,
"And you? What did you get for your duck?"
The boy fairly beamed as he slapped his $15
on the table and began to gloat about being
the winner. The youngest cleared his throat,
"Not so fast bro. I win. Not you."
They all looked at him and then looked pointedly
at the dead duck. The father gave him a stern look,
"I don't tolerate cheats and lies boy you best
shut your trap before it gets you in trouble!"
The young man was feeling so smug he taunted,
"Go ahead Pop ask me what I got for my duck!"
His father just glared at him. The young man
grinned and told them the story of all that had
transpired that day. In closing he said,
"So you see I really did win. I got a **** for a
duck, a duck for a **** and a grand total of
25 bucks for this ****ed-up duck!" He winked
and began to walk away. His dad called out to him,
"Where do you think you're going now, son?"
He grinned,
"Since I don't got chores to do I'm going back for
more lemonade!"
*** :) :) :) ***
It's my favorite story joke. I had to share. :D
[ May 06, 2003, 07:40 PM: Message edited by: FMluvswaterbabe ]
A farmer sat his three teenaged
sons down and told them they
needed to learn the value of
livestock and the value of money.
He gave each of them a duck and
told them to go sell their ducks for
as much money as possible.
Whoever made the most money
could keep the money and wouldn't
have to do chores for a week.
The three boys headed to town each
determined to make the most money.
The eldest boy went to the local petshop
and really gave a hard sell to make it
sound like the duck was a spectacular
pet so the shop owner caved, grudgingly
gave the boy ten dollars for the duck and
sent him on his way.
Meantime the middle
boy went to the backdoor of the most
expensive restaurant in town and offered
up the duck to the chef. After a brief heated
discussion the chef relented and bought the
duck for fifteen dollars and shooed the boy
away.
Meantime the youngest boy was still
looking for someone to buy his duck. He
wasn't having any sort of luck at all. With his
head hanging in defeat he began his long trek
back to the farm still clutching his duck. It was
a particularly hot day and about half way home
he was feeling mighty thirsty so he stopped off
at another farm to ask for a drink. An attractive
woman in her late 30's answered the door. He
politely asked for a drink of water. She saw
how hot and tired he was and invited him in
for lemonade instead. She asked about the
duck and he explained the situation. She
confided to him that she was recently widowed
and very lonely. She explained all she could
spare for the duck was $5 but if he was
interested she'd have sex with him as well.
The boy was pleasantly surprised by this offer
and they went at it. Afterward the woman
looked at him and made him another offer.
He could keep the $5 and she'd give him the
duck back so he could get a better price on
it if he was willing to have sex with her again.
He happily agreed and they went at it again.
He left the farmhouse grinning with $5 dollars
in his pocket and he still had the duck. A big
old truck came barrelling down the dirt road
and the noise panicked the duck. It got away
from him and wound up being hit and killed.
The driver stopped to see what he had hit and
saw it was just a duck. He shrugged and was
about to climb back into his vehicle without
speaking to the young man. The young man
was pissed because now he had no chance
in hell of selling his duck. He yelled to the driver,
"Hey! You killed my duck! Do you have any clue
at all how much that duck means to me? How
could you just kill my duck and walk away like
it's nothing?"
The driver was startled by the outburst and
felt a little guilty,
"Gee sonny I'm real sorry 'bout yer duck. I
don't know what else to say. Kin ya git
yerself another one or sumthin' mebbe? How
much it cost nowadays for a brand new duck?
Will $10 do it?"
The boy wiped at the sweat running down
his face and sniffled loudly,
"It's just not the same. That duck was really
special to me!"
The driver just wanted to ease his own guilt
so he said,
"I unnerstan that sonny and aggin I'm real
durn sorry bout yer duck and all. How's about
I give ya $20? Mebbe ya could buy two ducks
then and they could have baby ducks and
ya'd feel better? Whaddaya say sonny? Okay?"
The young man nodded grudgingly and
accepted the $20. As he stooped to pick
up the carcass of the dead duck he watched
the driver speed away and muttered to himself,
"What a sucker!".
He then continued home
to see how his brothers had fared. His dad
and brother's immediately noticed the dead
duck he was carrying and his brothers
started to snicker. Their dad hushed them
and turned to the eldest,
"So son what did you get for your duck?"
The eldest proudly slapped a $10 bill on the
table. The father smiled and proudly clapped
him on the shoulder.He turned to his middle son,
"And you? What did you get for your duck?"
The boy fairly beamed as he slapped his $15
on the table and began to gloat about being
the winner. The youngest cleared his throat,
"Not so fast bro. I win. Not you."
They all looked at him and then looked pointedly
at the dead duck. The father gave him a stern look,
"I don't tolerate cheats and lies boy you best
shut your trap before it gets you in trouble!"
The young man was feeling so smug he taunted,
"Go ahead Pop ask me what I got for my duck!"
His father just glared at him. The young man
grinned and told them the story of all that had
transpired that day. In closing he said,
"So you see I really did win. I got a **** for a
duck, a duck for a **** and a grand total of
25 bucks for this ****ed-up duck!" He winked
and began to walk away. His dad called out to him,
"Where do you think you're going now, son?"
He grinned,
"Since I don't got chores to do I'm going back for
more lemonade!"
*** :) :) :) ***
It's my favorite story joke. I had to share. :D
[ May 06, 2003, 07:40 PM: Message edited by: FMluvswaterbabe ]