Insert Foot Into Mouth!!!!!

[DansBlown73Nordic]

I stopped last night at my favorite truck stop to fuel up the tractor. I finished pumping my fuel and went inside. The guy at the counter is the same guy for the last five years.So as he is doing my paperwork this car pulls into the fuel pumps. This girl gets out. I look out the window and say Holy Shit that girl is UGLY... eek!
He looks up at me and says "Thats My Wife" :D smile_sp

[HavasuDreamin']

How did the leather taste? How many shades of red/purple did your face turn?
LOL :D

[Her454]

I'm standing in line at a BBQ at the lake and I
casually ask the lady next to me "when her baby is due?".....she snaps back at me, "Im not pregnant". Her husband then proceeds to admonish her about how fat she is and that she should lose that f'ng weight.......while I have to stand next to these people in line turning 12 shades of red.
Thats a question I've never asked again. eek!

[DansBlown73Nordic]

Just signed my reciept and got the hell out of there..... :D

[Her454]

Forensic:
That is so funny... My girlfriend at the time and I were hanging out with some people in Vegas when the same thing happens to my g-friends friend. Oh sh!t, was that funny. This girl looks at her and goes "im not pregnent" all quiet and heads for the nearest door.
LOL... eek! :D Trust me, if there had a been a hole, I would have
crawled in it. And of course her husband had to make it worse...... eek!

[Mrs. Bordsmnj]

Me and Mr. Bordsmnj asked the dreadful "When are you due?" question at the river not to long ago. Happened to be a members wife too. Ooops. Needless to say, she was not pregnant. She doesn't talk to us much since then. :( frown
[ October 06, 2003, 03:08 PM: Message edited by: Mrs. Bordsmnj ]

[WaterBox]

Ya had something like that happen to me too. Just moved to a small town, working for a oil well company, only knew the guy's I was working with, Had to leave extra early one morning for a job many miles away, The one guy said why don't you meet me for breakfast over at the cafe in the morning and you can ride with me, Ok sounds good, got to the cafe that morning he was already there, sat down looking at the menue and this good looking lady with Huge Boob's went over to wait on another table I said to him O.M.G. did you see them Boobs? eek! he said ya every night, thats my wife. He was cool with it he said it happens all the time. I think he plan's it out like that

[DansBlown73Nordic]

I should have learned my lesson a couple years ago. Im at a customer getting loaded. I go in the office and here sets this girl who I would have swore was a HOOKER.... :p Real short skirt and top that pretty much said look at these... eek!
So I go out where this guy is loading my truck. I say pretty Whippy Looking Chick in the office. :D
He says thats my Daughter.... jawdrop LMAO :rolleyes:
[ October 06, 2003, 03:45 PM: Message edited by: Dans66Stevens ]

[Kilrtoy]

I too have done the congrats thing,
wow is it a boy or girl. IM NOT PREGNANT burningm , "Oh sorry", I said, "so when did you gain all that weight". I talking like 50 pounds. I guess she will be on a diet, I wasnt as embarrassed as she was....
Moral of the story dont get fat....

[summerlove]

When I was in college, we used to hang at a bar in San Diego called "The Spigot", well, one night, I'm with this new girl I had met and we were talking. I think she was a sophomore and I was a junior. She was having a hard time hearing me - and while it was loud, I had no problem hearing her. Well, after awhile, I kinda got tired of her saying "what, I didn't hear you" - for like the umteenth time... Well, you guessed it, I said to her, what are you deaf or something? Hey, I was only joking and I was laughing, but she then pulled her hair back to show off her beautiful ears, complete with hearing aids! eek! Oh man, did I feel like the jerk i was. I never went out with her again, imagine that! We did remain friends and we did laugh about it later - much later!!!

[Dave C]

same story as her454 but we had a flat tire in a buddy's truck, at night, with NO JACK. So some nice people stopped and lent us their jack. After we were done my buddy spouts off to his wife with the pregnant bit.
I wanted to kick him because we would still be there if it wasnt for them stopping.

[JetBoatRich]

I do it all the time ask my wife :confused:
have to remind myself: think and then talk :D
[ October 06, 2003, 07:25 PM: Message edited by: JetBoatRich ]

[River Lynchmob]

Had the same thing happen at the chineese/japaneese/sushi place in havasu, my buddy askes the owner when she was due same thing...im not pregnant he appologizes abd everything thing is cool. the waitress hes the comment and goes off telling him hes an ass hole and an idiot etc. turns out he complains back to the owner and she gave us our meal for half price. never saw that one comming.

[gigamurph]

Mrs. Bordsmnj:
Me and Mr. Bordsmnj asked the dreadful "When are you due?" question at the river not to long ago. Happened to be a members wife too. Ooops. Needless to say, she was not pregnant. She doesn't talk to us much since then. :( :( Yeah; you guys really messed up that day! It was at OP6C5 and that wasn't no woman you asked that of. It was da gig! Not to worry though! I'm not upset at all but I do wish I'd hurry up and have this friggin' baby elephant I'm carryin' around!
Was at Laughlin once and the wife had had a few (a crapload) to drink and was playiun' Roulette at the Belle. I was sittin' at one of the tables across the way with some other guy watchin' the ol' girl placin' her bets. Since she ws wearin' a black dress with the whitest underwear I've ever seen, everytime she would bet her favorite number, which was on the far side of the table, WHITE OUT! It was sweet! Anyways, this guy points it out to me and I start bettin' him that the next time she does it, the ol' hemline goes higher than the last time. After a few rounds of bettin', he wonders outloud how the h**l I keep gettin' it right. I tell him that I know my wife pretty well and that it's not the first time she's done it. He looks at me with this "Say what?" look on his face, cashes out, and splits! Most fun I had at the tables that whole week!
:D

[DansBlown73Nordic]

Now thats funny!!!! :D

[topless]

One time at band camp.........I mean when I was in high school, I went to the drive through at Jack in the Box. The biggest, fattest, ugliest lady was waiting on us as she was stuffing her face with frenh fries and taking the next order. My friend and I laughed our asses off.
The next day at school as I was telling the story to a my class mates about what a pig this lady was, one girl shuts me up by saying, thats my mom..........(oh shit)!!! All I could do was say I'm sorry. It didn't really help because everyone else was laughing too hard. Learned my lesson that day.

[BobS]

It took a pregnant woman to embarass be into a diet. I was at a baby shower for a co-worker. She was really, really pregnant - I mean big and ripe like a watermelon. They were playing this game where you take a roll of TP and tear off a strip that you think is the right length to wrap around the expectant mothers belly. Closest to the correct length wins a door prize. Well I got the roll, took a look down at my beer belly, figured what length I would need and tore off my piece. I won - exact length to the sheet. Needless to say, I provided amusement to everyone that day. I was on the wagon the next day.
Bob