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View Full Version : Favorite River Stories....



superV
02-17-2003, 01:21 PM
OK so Im board and its been kinda dead around here
and since I dont have any good stories of the river yet I thoght you might want to share? :D
BTW Pics really make for a good story! :rolleyes:

DogHouse
02-17-2003, 01:32 PM
Yeah, brought new meaning to "man's best friend"...
:D

superV
02-17-2003, 01:56 PM
So lets here it?

78Eliminator
02-17-2003, 02:02 PM
superV:
So lets here it? HEAR it, you mean.

Blown 472
02-17-2003, 02:03 PM
Get tha ruler and smack his knuckles, 78EnglishMajor in tha haus. :D :D

miller19j
02-17-2003, 02:08 PM
Blown 472:
Get tha ruler and smack his knuckles, 78EnglishMajor in tha haus. :D :D I think you mean House! :D wink

Steamin' Rice
02-17-2003, 02:10 PM
RiverDave:
My "favorite" river story of all time is still the one EricNV put up about his Dog "Nasty" and him on the launch ramp.. :D
Anyone remember that?
RD Are you talking about the "dueclaws" incident..... jawdrop

DogHouse
02-17-2003, 02:28 PM
I think the threads may have been deleted in one of the server upgrades or something.
:confused:

Steamin' Rice
02-17-2003, 02:35 PM
One of those damn moderators probably deleted it..
J/K... :D

DogHouse
02-17-2003, 02:36 PM
Well it did have explicit sexual content...
:D

superV
02-20-2003, 11:43 AM
OK still waiting to hear some good ones? Anyone! frown

superV
02-20-2003, 11:44 AM
OK this one time at the river I was like?

HavasuDreamin'
02-20-2003, 12:13 PM
I agree, all other river stories are tame compared to EricNv story. "whenever you two are done!"
LOL :D

Duke
02-20-2003, 01:13 PM
ahhh, you guys suck!
someone get eric in here to tell the story!

HCS
02-20-2003, 02:53 PM
River story, Me and some buddy's hooked up at the boat launch, we had three boats two hydro's one blown, one with a tunnel ram, the third boat a daycruiser. So there's these two chicks right. We don't know em, their hanging out looking for a good time, so we say hop in. One jumps in the daycruiser with me and my bro, the other one jumps in the blown hydro. So we blast up the river. The one with us jumps under the front of the boat because she cold, so we shut down climb under the front with her and burn one. After a few storys we get out and go look for the hydro's. We come across Larry the guy with the tunnel ram and say what happen to Vern?. Larry says he's up the river. So we blast up looking for him. So we go around a bend in the river and there's Vern on the deck of his blown hydro stark naked doin this chick in the middle of the river. We laugh are ****ing asses off and spin circles around his boat. Then we get drunk.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

cyclone
02-20-2003, 03:07 PM
Last summer i took a trip to Mcyntire Park in Blythe with my ex-gf, Hothallet and his chick. It was july i think and at around 6pm the river was getting really low. Hothallet and his chick pulled his boat out of the water but me and my ex wanted to stay out a bit longer so we headed up river to find a sandbar to hang out at. We get to a huge sandbar up past Mayflower and anchor the boat off of the sandbar and get the lawn chairs out of the boat. We are kicking it, enjoying the sunset and decide that since no one was around we should have sex on the sandbar. I threw my shorts on the top of my lawn chair and she threw her thong on the seat. Well after we finish up i grab my trunks from top of the chair and she realizes that the chair sunk in the sand and her thong got caught in the current and floated down river. So the river is getting real low and we need to head back but she's buck naked and we've got no towels in the boat! I give her my shirt and we head back to the launch ramp. she ends up staying in the boat while i run to get my truck, all the while feeling really dumb because she lost her brand new bathing suit.

beyondhelpin
02-20-2003, 07:07 PM
It wasnt just what happened between him and mans best friend, its also how he told it. They boy has story telling skills. I believe I would have had to take that one to my grave!!!!!!!!
Sorta like the guy at work who recently told the story of this beautiful chick he was making out with and got a bj from. Reached down and she had a huge clit. You figured out where this story is going? Another one you take to the grave!

Mandelon
02-20-2003, 07:13 PM
Uh, one time, at band camp........

wannajetboat
02-20-2003, 07:27 PM
My first time to da river, Squaw Lake, Martinez area, I had my wife and kids, and my brothers kids in my new to me not so hot boat, well I think I am pretty hot shit as I am idling out of the no wake zone and as I reach the end of the "zone" I put the hammer down, make a sharp left, travel about 150 yards and end up on top of the biggest freaking sandbar on the river (not really but it seemed like it to me at the time), the outdrive kicks up and fills the boat and passengers with sand and water, we had sand in places that we didn't even sand could get into, after about eight years of cleaning I think I finally got all of the sand out of the boat. Not my brightest day but probably one of the most memorable.

mbrown2
02-20-2003, 09:39 PM
Hopefully someone finds this story from Eric...I don't remember reading it, but it sounds like a winner.

cyclone
02-21-2003, 08:54 AM
wannajetboat- that sucks man. I would have been pretty damn embarrassed.

79 HUSTLER
02-21-2003, 04:03 PM
Ok, I got an embarrassing story that was pretty scary. I'm sure someone from the boards had to have seen this or helped because it was pretty crowded. Last year for memorial weekend '02 on thurs. I had just got my new motor back (in a 18' jet boat-blue & yellow) and I was having problems with water getting thru my headers so I decided to run them dry for the weekend and just have fun. We just left the sand bar and was on it hard all the way to the channel. We idled thru the channel and my headers finally changed back to normal, from glowing red. Since we were idling the whole time I never had to touch the gas peddle. I was parked in between a older family boat and a red Daytona, I can't remember the size but it had a couple of blown mtrs and was like brand new. We had been in the channel for hours and decided to head out, I push off, started her up and threw her in reverse, never having to touch the gas. I'm clear of the boats beside me and give her a good tap of the trottle to spin around to get out of everyones way. Well the trottle goes down but decides it does not want to release. So I'm at about 3,000rpms and only about ten feet away from this Daytona pointed right at it. I barely miss the daytona and point it straight for the sand. I end up barely grazing the older boat (that we had been chillin with the whole time in there-who happened to be a CHP-to top it off) with the back corner of my cavatation plates and nail the beach hard. I get out shakin like crazy and glad I didn't hit anyone. Then I look at my boat and the end of my jet it is about five feet from the water. Once I'm done checking out all the boats for damage (all the while getting hundreds of beers offered to me to calm down-good thing I didn't have a drink all day-YET!!!) I look up and the whole island side of the channel had to be standing around watching. So I finally calm down and decide to get back in the water, everyone trys to sholve the boat back in after many trys and many, many more people helping we get in the water and decide to just get a tow to the campgrounds...Thats my story, anyone from here see that, on the island side nere the new condo's by the bridge. By the way my trottle stuck from the cable melting from the headers being dry, it went down easy cause of the force from my foot but the little return springs would not pull it back. I did not go anywhere crowded the rest of the weekend.
79 hustler.

wannajetboat
02-21-2003, 04:33 PM
I was totally embaressed, but it was a blast, you know that first trip to the river, when you loose you virginity, it's bound to hurt a little bit. smile_sp smile_sp

hd&boatrider
02-21-2003, 04:43 PM
cyclone:
Last summer i took a trip to Mcyntire Park in Blythe with my ex-gf, Hothallet and his chick. It was july i think and at around 6pm the river was getting really low. Hothallet and his chick pulled his boat out of the water but me and my ex wanted to stay out a bit longer so we headed up river to find a sandbar to hang out at. We get to a huge sandbar up past Mayflower and anchor the boat off of the sandbar and get the lawn chairs out of the boat. We are kicking it, enjoying the sunset and decide that since no one was around we should have sex on the sandbar. I threw my shorts on the top of my lawn chair and she threw her thong on the seat. Well after we finish up i grab my trunks from top of the chair and she realizes that the chair sunk in the sand and her thong got caught in the current and floated down river. So the river is getting real low and we need to head back but she's buck naked and we've got no towels in the boat! I give her my shirt and we head back to the launch ramp. she ends up staying in the boat while i run to get my truck, all the while feeling really dumb because she lost her brand new bathing suit. I kind of figured this kind of stuff happened to everybody at the river/lake at least once. Am I wrong on this or am I just over the top?

EricinNv
02-21-2003, 09:30 PM
Damn! I can’t believe somebody deleted it. I wish I would of hard copied it because this is rather lengthy. It won’t be word for word as the original post, but you’ll get the gist. I only hope it lives up to all the hoopla.
It was the summer of ’78 and I was 19 years old. My folks had a vacation home at Lakeside subdivision (up Rio Vista rd from Riverside Drive) Parker, AZ. I was helping my dad remodel the detached garage into an apartment and was making a dump run for him. I had a black lab named Nasty. He went with me everywhere and the dump was no exception. My old pick up didn’t have AC and in the midday summer heat, we were both suffering. On the way back from the dump, Old Nasty was really panting and whining, so I stopped at the launch ramp at Riverside drive and Cienega Springs. There is no beach there, just a launch ramp. It was mid week and no one around, so I pull up close to the water and let Nasty out for a swim. I shucked off my boots and shirt and jumped in with my Levis on to join him. It didn’t take long for the cool Colorado River to change our attitudes and before anytime at all, Nasty was rejuvenated and acting like a pup. He was out of the water, racing back and forth along the water line of the launch ramp. I was coming out of the water at the north side of the ramp, along a block wall, in waist deep water, when I hit a real mossy patch of concrete. I lost my footing and slipped back into the water. I regained my footing, but the going was slow. It seemed I couldn’t find any way out of the slimy stuff. I made it to about knee deep water and was afraid I’d slip and bust my ass on the concrete, so I got down on all fours and started to crawl out. By this time, Nasty had noticed my antics and was intently watching me from shore. As I was almost out of the water, he came up to me, nose to nose, in the dominant male stance with his tale flagged. I said “Don’t you bite me you sonofabitch”! cuz he had that look in his eye. He then walked past me to the “I smell your butt, you smell mine” dog ritual position. I then figured enough of this game and went to crawl out of the water, but that bastard already grabbed a hold and mounted me. I was trying to elbow him and was yelling every command to get him to turn me loose, but he had his dew claws stuck into my belly (learned what those are for the hard way-pun intended) and was humping away like a mad dog. I was furious with Nasty and swore I’d kill him when I got loose. About this time I hear a horn honk. I look up and see a boat had backed down the ramp to launch. Towing it was a pickup truck, the bed loaded with little kids who were all gawking at me. The guy driving has his head hanging out the window and hollers “Whenever you two are done”!

JetBoatRich
02-21-2003, 09:34 PM
You admit that? I might have to change it a little frown

Mandelon
02-21-2003, 09:37 PM
I almost spilled my drink, dude!! Eric, that is too funny! :D

mbrown2
02-21-2003, 09:41 PM
Great story Eric...I don't see anybody topping that...wonder how long the guy at the launch ramp thought of that response..."whenever you two are done"...classic.

EricinNv
02-21-2003, 09:44 PM
Yeah, he pissed me off too. Ends up, I didn't kill either one of them.

syke-o
02-21-2003, 09:52 PM
dude that is hilarious!!!!

JetBoatRich
02-21-2003, 09:56 PM
Glad you didn't tell us how much you enjoyed it jawdrop

Mandelon
02-21-2003, 10:41 PM
Was the dog............big???

wannajetboat
02-22-2003, 03:41 PM
That is one funny ass story, (no pun intended) :D :D .

Desert Rat
03-09-2004, 11:36 AM
That was one VERY FUNNY STORY!!!

jackpunx
03-09-2004, 12:01 PM
Originally posted by EricinNv
Yeah, he pissed me off too. Ends up, I didn't kill either one of them.
Im laughing outloud at work.. good shit man.. !!!

Ducatista
03-09-2004, 12:02 PM
Enjoyed that very much! Bring on Spring!:cool:

OGShocker
03-09-2004, 12:56 PM
OMG! Now, that was funny!

GrapeApe
03-09-2004, 01:07 PM
Some of you guys said that you need to stock up on beads... Make sure you get a Bunch of Pasties as well, and leave them on your Boat.. It's kinda like the story, "If you build it, they will come.".. Here is the Story.. Labor day '03 Weekend at Lake Martinez, we are hanging out watching a few girls dance on the Bow of a Mach 22.. They where young, maybe 21. We kept trying to get them to put some "Nipple Guards" on.. They kept saying no, never.. So SDMIKEY's wife gets a few of the girls in our crew to put some on.. Before you know it, the intire group of people watching the girls dance on the DCB, where over at our Boats watching the 2-3 Girls we had wearing Nipple Guards.. Well, the Girls, not getting any attention, went to our Boats, where they formed a line to get Nipple Guards put on... Pictures are in my Photo Album, search for Grapeape1.. Before you knew it, the girls that said they wouldnt wear Nipple Guards, wore them, and a few where Topless.. I guess those Nipple Guards can lose there stick after awhile..:D So all you need is One Girl to wear them, get a little attention.. and a line will form with new recruits..
*** Grape Ape ***

repo man
03-09-2004, 01:12 PM
that's funny , i have a half pit half mastiff that lives to knock people down and hump them into submition. its almost imposible to pull him off.

Sandbar Mike
03-09-2004, 01:27 PM
Originally posted by 79 HUSTLER
Ok, I got an embarrassing story that was pretty scary. I'm sure someone from the boards had to have seen this or helped because it was pretty crowded. Last year for memorial weekend '02 on thurs. I had just got my new motor back (in a 18' jet boat-blue & yellow) and I was having problems with water getting thru my headers so I decided to run them dry for the weekend and just have fun. We just left the sand bar and was on it hard all the way to the channel. We idled thru the channel and my headers finally changed back to normal, from glowing red. Since we were idling the whole time I never had to touch the gas peddle. I was parked in between a older family boat and a red Daytona, I can't remember the size but it had a couple of blown mtrs and was like brand new. We had been in the channel for hours and decided to head out, I push off, started her up and threw her in reverse, never having to touch the gas. I'm clear of the boats beside me and give her a good tap of the trottle to spin around to get out of everyones way. Well the trottle goes down but decides it does not want to release. So I'm at about 3,000rpms and only about ten feet away from this Daytona pointed right at it. I barely miss the daytona and point it straight for the sand. I end up barely grazing the older boat (that we had been chillin with the whole time in there-who happened to be a CHP-to top it off) with the back corner of my cavatation plates and nail the beach hard. I get out shakin like crazy and glad I didn't hit anyone. Then I look at my boat and the end of my jet it is about five feet from the water. Once I'm done checking out all the boats for damage (all the while getting hundreds of beers offered to me to calm down-good thing I didn't have a drink all day-YET!!!) I look up and the whole island side of the channel had to be standing around watching. So I finally calm down and decide to get back in the water, everyone trys to sholve the boat back in after many trys and many, many more people helping we get in the water and decide to just get a tow to the campgrounds...Thats my story, anyone from here see that, on the island side nere the new condo's by the bridge. By the way my trottle stuck from the cable melting from the headers being dry, it went down easy cause of the force from my foot but the little return springs would not pull it back. I did not go anywhere crowded the rest of the weekend.
79 hustler.
Holy shit Kelly, That sucks.
shit happens

PlyaPlya22
03-09-2004, 02:10 PM
Shit, that gives a whole new meaning to the phrase : "bury the bone"....:D

Mandelon
03-09-2004, 04:29 PM
Here's mine from last Spring.......
Wednesday afternoon, we're out at Avi enjoying a leisure spring break with a bunch of families and all of our kids. Warm sunny weather, very relaxing. Did the Topoc cruise down to the London Bridge channel the day before. I don't know about you guys, but I think being in the sun and seeing all the skin gives you a little testosterone boost.
Its now about 4:00 in the afternoon. Wife's been drinking all day. After lots of cold ones my wife finally decides its time to go and "break in" the boat. Some of her friends had been asking about it and egging her on. Since we had a lot of friends and families on the beach to watch our kids, and plenty of liquid courage she's good to go.
I can barely believe it, cuz she doesn't get too crazy like that anymore. I guess motherhood does something to your wild and crazy gene?? So we get in the boat, just the two of us, and off we go. Roar down river a ways and just start drifting. We talk for a while and finally get a little somethin' somethin' going on.....
So there we are, her legs in the air, my white ass showin while my shorts are around my ankles on the deck of the boat. Things are going fine....then we hear this odd roar. Didn't sound like any boat that I recognized.
Well, what comes around the corner but the Laughlin to Havasu Tour Jet Boat!!!! Its flying upstream at 40 miles an hour. Two stories tall. Lined with people....kids.....old ladies from tour buses...and one really smiley skipper!!
Then comes another one.....Turns out there's two of them. Those mothers throw a pretty good wake too. The front guy must've radio'd to the second one cuz he slows down a little....for a better look I guess. At least it had less people on it.
There sure were a lot of smiling faces on that boat. I thought for sure Debbie would've hid under a towel but the Tecates did their job!! Best part is I still got to finish!!
__________________

fourspeednup
03-09-2004, 08:19 PM
God damn! I can only hope to have some stories of that quality upon my return from spring break!
Mandelon---that's great!:eek: :eek:

LASERRAY
03-09-2004, 08:24 PM
Originally posted by Mandelon
Here's mine from last Spring.......
Wednesday afternoon, we're out at Avi enjoying a leisure spring break with a bunch of families and all of our kids. Warm sunny weather, very relaxing. Did the Topoc cruise down to the London Bridge channel the day before. I don't know about you guys, but I think being in the sun and seeing all the skin gives you a little testosterone boost.
Its now about 4:00 in the afternoon. Wife's been drinking all day. After lots of cold ones my wife finally decides its time to go and "break in" the boat. Some of her friends had been asking about it and egging her on. Since we had a lot of friends and families on the beach to watch our kids, and plenty of liquid courage she's good to go.
I can barely believe it, cuz she doesn't get too crazy like that anymore. I guess motherhood does something to your wild and crazy gene?? So we get in the boat, just the two of us, and off we go. Roar down river a ways and just start drifting. We talk for a while and finally get a little somethin' somethin' going on.....
So there we are, her legs in the air, my white ass showin while my shorts are around my ankles on the deck of the boat. Things are going fine....then we hear this odd roar. Didn't sound like any boat that I recognized.
Well, what comes around the corner but the Laughlin to Havasu Tour Jet Boat!!!! Its flying upstream at 40 miles an hour. Two stories tall. Lined with people....kids.....old ladies from tour buses...and one really smiley skipper!!
Then comes another one.....Turns out there's two of them. Those mothers throw a pretty good wake too. The front guy must've radio'd to the second one cuz he slows down a little....for a better look I guess. At least it had less people on it.
There sure were a lot of smiling faces on that boat. I thought for sure Debbie would've hid under a towel but the Tecates did their job!! Best part is I still got to finish!!
__________________ Yes! Nice story Mand. I can't wait to "Break-in" my boat! I'll be sure to tell my wife all about it!:D

phebus
03-09-2004, 08:35 PM
Originally posted by LASERRAY
Yes! Nice story Mand. I can't wait to "Break-in" my boat! I'll be sure to tell my wife all about it!:D
Driving "one handed" doesn't count. :D

FMluvswater
05-15-2004, 07:59 PM
This the one Forensic? :) (bump)

CEO
05-15-2004, 08:12 PM
Originally posted by EricinNv
Damn! I can’t believe somebody deleted it. I wish I would of hard copied it because this is rather lengthy. It won’t be word for word as the original post, but you’ll get the gist. I only hope it lives up to all the hoopla.
It was the summer of ’78 and I was 19 years old. My folks had a vacation home at Lakeside subdivision (up Rio Vista rd from Riverside Drive) Parker, AZ. I was helping my dad remodel the detached garage into an apartment and was making a dump run for him. I had a black lab named Nasty. He went with me everywhere and the dump was no exception. My old pick up didn’t have AC and in the midday summer heat, we were both suffering. On the way back from the dump, Old Nasty was really panting and whining, so I stopped at the launch ramp at Riverside drive and Cienega Springs. There is no beach there, just a launch ramp. It was mid week and no one around, so I pull up close to the water and let Nasty out for a swim. I shucked off my boots and shirt and jumped in with my Levis on to join him. It didn’t take long for the cool Colorado River to change our attitudes and before anytime at all, Nasty was rejuvenated and acting like a pup. He was out of the water, racing back and forth along the water line of the launch ramp. I was coming out of the water at the north side of the ramp, along a block wall, in waist deep water, when I hit a real mossy patch of concrete. I lost my footing and slipped back into the water. I regained my footing, but the going was slow. It seemed I couldn’t find any way out of the slimy stuff. I made it to about knee deep water and was afraid I’d slip and bust my ass on the concrete, so I got down on all fours and started to crawl out. By this time, Nasty had noticed my antics and was intently watching me from shore. As I was almost out of the water, he came up to me, nose to nose, in the dominant male stance with his tale flagged. I said “Don’t you bite me you sonofabitch”! cuz he had that look in his eye. He then walked past me to the “I smell your butt, you smell mine” dog ritual position. I then figured enough of this game and went to crawl out of the water, but that bastard already grabbed a hold and mounted me. I was trying to elbow him and was yelling every command to get him to turn me loose, but he had his dew claws stuck into my belly (learned what those are for the hard way-pun intended) and was humping away like a mad dog. I was furious with Nasty and swore I’d kill him when I got loose. About this time I hear a horn honk. I look up and see a boat had backed down the ramp to launch. Towing it was a pickup truck, the bed loaded with little kids who were all gawking at me. The guy driving has his head hanging out the window and hollers “Whenever you two are done”!
Fu**ing funnier that shit Oh my God that is great

Mandelon
05-15-2004, 09:58 PM
I am glad this is back. That is sooooo funny. It makes my eyes water.....:D
There's gotta be more stories than that out there....