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Jbb
08-19-2003, 04:58 AM
Did You Ever Stop and Wonder Why....
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum."
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast
to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car pool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas ?
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??
If Wile E. Coyote from the Road Runner had enough money to buy all that
ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . .
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's on the outside of your ass?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

BK
08-19-2003, 05:14 AM
LOL, thats some funny sh@#t!! Sounds like a George Carlen rant? :D

gigamurph
08-19-2003, 08:51 PM
"Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?"-JetBoatBrian
uhhhhh.....I do JBB? Doesn't everybody? :p :D

Keith
08-19-2003, 09:29 PM
Do you ever wonder who was the first to eat a shrimp? "That looks like a bug...what does it taste like?"

betty boop
08-20-2003, 07:15 AM
ya know, i sat here last nite and wondered when the last time i had a full hearted laugh was - then got up this morning, read this thread, and literally, laughed my face off - awesome thread :D

OGShocker
08-20-2003, 08:07 AM
FOFLMAO!
[ August 20, 2003, 09:09 AM: Message edited by: OGShocker ]

dimarcobros
08-20-2003, 09:21 AM
LOL!!!
Do you ever wonder... why is it when you look at a prop from a plane that it seems to start one way and then when the prop pickes up speed turn the other way but never stops to change directions. :confused: :confused: :confused:
DMB