Funny Quotes about France

[spectratoad]

"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by> prostitutes."
Mark Twain
"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
General George S. Patton
"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
Marge Simpson
"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
France's President Jacques Chirac
"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
Rush Limbaugh,
"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
Regis Philbin
"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know."
P.J. O'Rourke (1989)
"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have
the face for it."
John McCain, U.S. Senator, Arizona
"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French,
people."
Conan O'Brien
"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans
out of France!"
Jay Leno
"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."
David Letterman
Next time there's a war in Europe, the loser has to keep France. :D :D

[mo]

THE BUNNY AND THE SNAKE
Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an
orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. By a surprising coincidence, both
were blind from birth.
One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was
slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and
fell down. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit.
"Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt
you. I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. In
fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am."
"It's quite OK," replied the snake. "Actually, my story is much the
same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never knew
my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and work
out what you are, so at least you'll have that going for you."
"Oh, that would be wonderful" replied the bunny. So the snake
slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with soft
fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches; and you have a soft
cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit."
"Oh, thank you! Thank you," cried the bunny, in obvious excitement. The
bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my
paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me."
So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're
smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone and no
balls. I'd say you must be a Frenchman.

[Kurtis500]

Another reason George Patton is my hero!!!

[sandblasted]

The British call the French "frogs" for a reason...I have to agree with it, slimy little green turds that hop away at the 1st sign of danger! :D