Today's Humor

[Troubles No More]

Unknown Author...
My Aunt died this past January. CitiBank billed her for February and March for their usual monthly service charge on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge . . . the balance had been $0.00 . . . now it was somewhere around $60.00.
I placed the following phone call to CitiBank:
Me: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."
CitiBank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Me: "Maybe you should turn it over to collections . . ."
CitiBank: "Since it is 2 months past due, it already has been."
Me: "So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
CitiBank: "Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau . . . maybe both!"
Me: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"
CitiBank: ". . . excuse me . . .?"
Me: "Did you just get what I was telling you . . . the part about her being dead?"
CitiBank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor!"
(Supervisor gets on the phone.)
Me: ''I'm calling to tell you she died in January."
CitiBank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Me: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
CitiBank: ". . .(stammer). . . are you her lawyer?"
Me: "No, I'm her great nephew."
(Lawyer information given . . .)
CitiBank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Me: "Sure."
(Fax number given . . . after they get the fax. . .)
CitiBank: "Our system just isn't set up for death . . ."
Me: "Oh . . ."
CitiBank: "I don't know what more I can do to help . . ."
Me: "Well . . . if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her I suppose . . . I don't really think she will care . . ."
CitiBank: "Well . . . the late fees and charges do still apply."
Me: "Would you like her new billing address?"
CitiBank: "That might help."
Me: "She's now at . . ." (Odessa Memorial Cemetery, #### Hwy 129 and plot number given.)
CitiBank: "Sir, that's a Cemetery!!"
Me: "Just what do you do with dead people on your planet??????????????????????????"
:confused:
[ October 07, 2003, 07:40 AM: Message edited by: Dogred ]

[FMluvswater]

LMAO! OMG! How dense can some people be?!!! :rolleyes: eek!

[summerlove]

That's great - unfortunatley, I believe it! Too many stuipd people on this planet :confused:

[Caribbean Jet]

That is too funny.

[FMluvswater]

The Washington POST asked its readers to supply the beginning of a sentence that you don't want to hear the end of:
"It looks like when they built your basement, they did a kind of funny thing..."
"Sir, uh, me and your daughter..."
"Mom, I know you said I couldn't get my ears pierced, so..."
"In what experts are emphasizing is merely a long-overdue market correction..."
"We are now making our approach to National Airport, and I have locked the cabin door and lit seven candles, as commanded by my dog Buster, and..."

[FMluvswater]

Joe had lived with his wife Mary in their little home deep in the woods for
fifty years. To celebrate their fiftieth anniversary, he took her to the
big city and they checked into an upscale hotel.
Mary had a complaint for the bellman. "We refuse to settle for such a small
room. We don't have any windows or fan, or even a bed!"
"But, Madam!"
Mary interrupted the man. "Don't you 'But, Madam' me!" she stormed. "You
can't treat us like we're a couple of fools just because we don't travel
much, and we've never been to the big city, and we've never spent the night
at a hotel. I'm going to complain to the manager!"
"But, Madam," the bellman finally got out, "this isn't your room. It's the
elevator!"

[FMluvswater]

After being away on business, Tom thought it would be nice to
bring his wife a little gift.
"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk.
She showed him a bottle costing $50.00.
"That's a bit much," said Tom, so she returned with a smaller
bottle for $30.00.
"That's still quite a bit," Tom groused.
Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.
"What I mean," said Tom, "is I'd like to see something really
cheap."
So the clerk handed him a mirror.

[FMluvswater]

3 Chinese men wanted to become US citizen and "Americanize"themselves.
Their names were Bu, Chu, and Fu.
Bu named himself "Buck",
Chu name himself "Chuck", and
Fu decided to go back