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View Full Version : Any Vasectomy Stories?



Trailer Park Casanova
11-21-2003, 04:22 AM
It's time to get cut.
I've heard theirs a bandaid type, a cottorization type, the full rebuild type, the clamp, the valve, the snip,,, several types.
Well, if you've had one,, how'd it go?
Did I even spell it right??

NorCal Gameshow
11-21-2003, 04:28 AM
Don't make the app. right before lunch...
Don't let him start cutting before the meds kick in...
tell the doc it's not a race. if he takes his time you'll be fine,maybe ... :D

Havasu Hangin'
11-21-2003, 04:39 AM
It's not fun when the hottie-nurse sprays ice-cold antiseptic on yer junk just prior to getting started.

OutCole'd
11-21-2003, 05:26 AM
Make sure the air conditioning is not working to good in the room. The room I was in was freezing, and you know what happens. The laughter from the nurses still gives me nightmares...:frown:

25 Eagle
11-21-2003, 06:27 AM
I let my wife shave me. Docs nurse was a male.

HCS
11-21-2003, 06:45 AM
When I went in for my check up, the coat hangers on the roof
and the dirty utensils on the counter made me change my mind.:eek:
Have to find another doc.:eek:

burbanite
11-21-2003, 07:00 AM
Went great, everything works just like before.
When I had mine done you were put into a ward for about an hour afterward just to make sure things were OK, everyone in there as an in-patient knew why I was there and I got a lot of "you poor bastard, I bet that hurt" looks.
Best thing was when I left the anesthetic was still going strong so I threw on my clothes and sauntered out of there with a smile, a see ya wave and a big old strut out the door.
Worst thing about it was the fact there was some guy fiddling with the goods...

JetBoatRich
11-21-2003, 07:17 AM
Funny Story, maybe not.
My neighbor across the street was a military person. So, when he had his first one done by a Army Doctor his wife got pregnant the following year? Tested and sure enough the procedure failed, so on his second time was done my the Navy Dr. Can you believe had another baby girl. It was the laugh of the neighborhood. he now has three girls and went to a civilian doctor.:mad:

MRS FLYIN VEE
11-21-2003, 08:46 AM
Mr Vee had his done about 7 1/2 years ago.. the night we got home a friend of ours came over and asked for some help buying a wave runner.. the saleman was giving him a bad time.. so he popped a few vicadins and off we went.. well to make a long story short. we got two wave runners and a trailor for 5,000.00 less then he originally said.. not to bad holding an ice pack on his junk the whole time.. everything went well and no worry's about little ones anymore. i offered while on the table giving birth and he said i went through too much already.. it was his turn.. :D :D

JetBoatRich
11-21-2003, 08:48 AM
Originally posted by MRS FLYIN VEE
he said i went through too much already.. it was his turn.. :D :D
We are such givers:D

MRS FLYIN VEE
11-21-2003, 08:51 AM
and we are such receivers LOL!! :D i was grateful to him .. he didn't like the pain but then he realized after our daughter what i had to go through and he got over it real quick.. :D :D :D

JetBoatRich
11-21-2003, 08:54 AM
Few days later, ready to go. :D :D Compared to birth of child, i am sure I had the easy part:rolleyes:

MRS FLYIN VEE
11-21-2003, 08:58 AM
that you both did.. but now no worries just get to it.. :D :D

RiverToysJas
11-21-2003, 09:48 AM
Got one last year for my birthday. It hurt really bad for months......well a couple of days anyway.
RTJas :D

beached 1
11-21-2003, 10:14 AM
It really hurt when they pulled the tape off my chest...
:D

blownmoney
11-21-2003, 10:18 AM
just make sure he gets it tied the first time!!!, nuthing like the feeling of the doc tugging on yer pipes," come here ya slippery bastard"... lol.... sides that no probs!!

wineguy069
11-21-2003, 02:05 PM
The only time in my life I had or will every have my wife holding my hand and a hottie playing with my junk (shaving & sterilizing).

STGP
11-21-2003, 03:43 PM
I am planning to take the plunge myself, I interviewed about 10 friends that have had it done and 4 of them said that it (the finish)wasen't quite the same afterward, they couldn't pinpoint what it was but they all said that it felt different. To tell the truth I am way less worried about the pain than I am screwing up a good (really good) thing.
Any stories?

Wet Dream
11-22-2003, 07:25 AM
There is a definate pattern developing here. It appears that this practice attracts the hotties. I had the initial interview with the doctors (brothers) one day, and a few days later was the surgery. Everything is cool as I'm lead into the operating room and there are the two hottest nurses ever. The last thing you want is surprize action going on. I knew I should have slammed a few Bloody Marys before going in, but too late for that. Time for show and tell. The blue gown goes over your body, EXCEPT for the 8" X 8" square thats revealing your junk. ****ing great. The nurses, plural, 2 of them, both hot as hell, (no surprizes, no surprizes, think of something else) are now staring at the package and you know what they have to be thinking. They have a photographic memory and remember what they want to. Of course I'm sitting here wondering if mine made the cut. Anyway...After they shave you, douse you in cleaning agents, the doc starts poking you and telling you what he's going to do here. So after he cuts you open and tugs on your internals for a few minutes, you get to go into the recovery room, eat a couple of cookies and go about your merry way. The next day I was at the company picnic pushing the kids around. A little difficult to run, but you can get around. I think the worst part was when they pulled the upper part down. What I mean is the tube that goes up inside your body, into the pelvic area. If they pull too much, you'll feel it in your stomach for the next day. :eek: Its not all that bad though. And you can have it reversed if necessary. :D

missboatnam1
11-22-2003, 07:44 AM
one of our buddies got one,he said the doctor was pissed when he went to do his because the guy before didnt shave his nuts good.so he said that the old doc was a litlle rough and pulled on his cord a little hard,he said he could feel it on his molars.long story short his said his nuts swelled up like basketballs.

NashvilleBound
11-22-2003, 08:55 AM
First of all go to your own private doctor...no clinics. I thought it was just me and the doc...NOOOOO..a 150 year old nurse thats gonna shave Big Jim and the Twins...which as she got closer ended up as Little Jimmy and a very shrivled sack. No need to tape him to my stomach anymore :rolleyes: I told them I need allot of meds for my person but they didn't believe me so when he made the first cut I totally felt it...more meds and on we go. He cuts one side and pulls out each line...I swear when he cut them I could feel my eyeballs jerk back into my head. Then he reaches through to the other side and repeats. ties them into knots and carterizes them...(doesn't smell like chicken) Nobody said anything about turning colors...brusing....so the next day I amd fully marbled...figure, Nice, now their going to fall off. Everything turned out good, and Big Jim and the Twins are still at it 12 years later, amazing even myself sometimes :) Oh, and when they say their going to be sensitive and not lift anything, they are not kidding. I might suggest 2 small frozen bags of peas. One on you and the other in the freezer getting cold again...
Good Luck,
NB

miller19j
11-22-2003, 09:07 AM
Uhhhhh……Jeff that is a little more information than I ever wanted to know about you! :eek:

rrrr
11-22-2003, 11:22 AM
1.) When the doctor says "you are going to feel some mild discomfort", that's medical code for "this is gonna hurt like a mother****er".
2.) Mr. Ice Bag is your best friend. If you keep it cold it'll be a much easier recovery.

dr. margarita
11-22-2003, 11:45 AM
Dudes.....let me tell ya the slickest way to have 'em snipped. My doc gave me intervenous valium! He could have sliced my balls off completely and I'd still be laughing. I could have cared less when the ugly nurse laughed at my shaven balls and small dick...I was high!!! :D :D :D :D :D

Trailer Park Casanova
11-22-2003, 12:04 PM
Originally posted by dr. margarita
Dudes.....let me tell ya the slickest way to have 'em snipped. My doc gave me intervenous valium! He could have sliced my balls off completely and I'd still be laughing. I could have cared less when the ugly nurse laughed at my shaven balls and small dick...I was high!!! :D :D :D :D :D
Ok,, first I make sure to have a hot load of valium through my veins,,
That sounds fine,, no great,,
Second: Ice pack.
Did everyone need the ice packs?

NashvilleBound
11-22-2003, 12:07 PM
Brad, LMAO...sorry :D :D

MRS FLYIN VEE
11-22-2003, 12:07 PM
oh yes.. plus it keeps the sweeling down.. not that i cared they were swollen.. :D didn't bother me.. mr vee did say the ice is your friend for a while.. :D

dr. margarita
11-22-2003, 12:08 PM
Ice pack is good! Vicoden is good! Wife pampering you while your swollen the size of a volleyball is good! (just kidding, only grapefruit size:D).

Dr. Eagle
11-22-2003, 12:46 PM
Originally posted by dr. margarita
Ice pack is good! Vicoden is good! Wife pampering you while your swollen the size of a volleyball is good! (just kidding, only grapefruit size:D).
Dude, this kind of talk makes me cross my legs. OUCH!

Kilrtoy
11-22-2003, 12:48 PM
that is why mine are still swimming, OUCH

vdrivenman
11-22-2003, 02:38 PM
had mine done 24 years ago. went to a urologist. took my med's prior to going in, took 15 minutes for the procedure.a little minor discomfort.
went home stayed off my feet, wore the supporter provided and had NO problems.
tested for a couple of months and ended up with a ZERO count.
bottom line is to follow the pyhsicians advice !

Dr. Eagle
11-22-2003, 02:42 PM
I never got mine cut...I just couldn't imagine someone cutting on the boys...

Kilrtoy
11-22-2003, 03:36 PM
That stuff sounds too scaryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy:(

NashvilleBound
11-22-2003, 03:50 PM
It's really no big deal as long as you go to a qualified doc and get numb....first.
Just like VDrive said...

DansBlown73Nordic
11-22-2003, 04:46 PM
**** I was thinking about it but not now.......:eek!: :eek: :eek!: :eek!: :eek!: :eek!: :eek!: :eek!:

Dr. Eagle
11-22-2003, 05:25 PM
Originally posted by Kilrtoy
That stuff sounds too scaryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy:(
Well I am a big chicken...;) Especially when it comes to my manhood...

JetBoatRich
11-22-2003, 05:41 PM
Frozen Peas is the best thing to use:D for the swelling:eek:

MJ19
11-22-2003, 06:06 PM
Originally posted by NashvilleBound
First of all go to your own private doctor...no clinics. I thought it was just me and the doc...NOOOOO..a 150 year old nurse thats gonna shave Big Jim and the Twins...which as she got closer ended up as Little Jimmy and a very shrivled sack. No need to tape him to my stomach anymore :rolleyes: I told them I need allot of meds for my person but they didn't believe me so when he made the first cut I totally felt it...more meds and on we go. He cuts one side and pulls out each line...I swear when he cut them I could feel my eyeballs jerk back into my head. Then he reaches through to the other side and repeats. ties them into knots and carterizes them...(doesn't smell like chicken) Nobody said anything about turning colors...brusing....so the next day I amd fully marbled...figure, Nice, now their going to fall off. Everything turned out good, and Big Jim and the Twins are still at it 12 years later, amazing even myself sometimes :) Oh, and when they say their going to be sensitive and not lift anything, they are not kidding. I might suggest 2 small frozen bags of peas. One on you and the other in the freezer getting cold again...
Good Luck,
NB
Big Jim taped to your stomach LMAO :D Nice visual...for some reason it reminded me of Fluffy with cream on her chin...I can see the title now..."Big Jim and Fluffy Take on Nashville" :D

Wet Dream
11-22-2003, 07:12 PM
As you're getting ready to leave the office, the doctor will probably tell you to refrain from sex for about a week to reduce the chances of any damage. He'll then tell you that it will take about 10 ejaculations to deplete any remaining sperm that is still hanging around. And the final step...Then he'll tell you that in a week or 2 you'll need to leave a sample (cup and lid provided) for the lab to process, to make sure the surgery was successful. He did tell me that I don't need to have it "fresh". I looked at him funny and he stated that there was a guy trying to create the sample in his car in the parking lot. I opted not to give a sample and take my chances. 4 years later and no more kids. I guess it worked. :D

seho
11-22-2003, 11:29 PM
When I went for mine, the young lady (Dr.'s assistant) who happened to have a recently pierced tongue, was explaining the procedure to me as the doctor worked. I had taken the prescribed goofy pills to calm me down beforehand and was sorta giggly anyways......but after hearing her say the words "penith" and "throktum" for about the 3rd time (her tongue stud obviously causing quite the speech impediment), I totally lost it and they had to wait for me to quit laughing to continue.
Didn't hurt much at all...back to normal after a few days.

THE VIKING
11-23-2003, 12:58 AM
Oh yeahhhhh, i got it twice, once where it did'nt work, and after 6 months of masturbating into a jar, for the doctor to see if there were crocodiles in the shallow water, i got a date for a second operation.
When i got home i felt sick, went to work next day though, on the way home i felt even sicker, and had to stop and puke.
A check showed that it had all swollen to a gigantic size, we had envious horses here!!!
Doctor on the telephone said, it's ok as long as it dont change the colour!!!
In the morning i looked down and said to mrs. viking " OK black-purple, i'm off to the ER.
It was an infection with Staffylikok-bacteria, so some massive pills and the whole thing was back to normal within a couple of weeks.
But i do know many people where it all went smooth, so i guess i was out of luck that day.
This is one thing i will never do again!!!!!!, Period!!!!:(
The viking.

Kilrtoy
11-23-2003, 01:03 AM
Ok now Im really scared

Faster Daddy
11-23-2003, 01:37 AM
Can't add much, but my doctor cottorized. Says things are going fine, but then, the f*****g lightning bolt of pain has me screaming out! :eek: My wife came running in from the waiting room. Doctor then asks me with a straight face if I could feel that! :confused: Worst pain ever! So he gives me more local and continues working with the soldering iron, the room then fills with nasty smelling smoke! Wasn't long before I just passed out!
If I knew what was gonna happen that day I would have found a doctor that would knock me out. Thinking about this subject gives me nightmares. :(

Kilrtoy
11-23-2003, 01:38 AM
Im gonna make the wife read this thread

Rocket2003
11-23-2003, 06:36 AM
Originally posted by Kilrtoy
Im gonna make the wife read this thread
Me TOO!:eek: :eek!: :eek: :eek!: :eek:
Sounds like this is going to hurt!
If teenagers wern't such a "pain in the Boat" I wouldn't even concider it! I love kids, untill they turn 13!:yuk:

Flying Tiger
11-23-2003, 07:19 AM
Originally posted by Kilrtoy
Im gonna make the wife read this thread
I was wondering what your thoughts would be on this thread when I posted it Kilrtoy.
I gotta get cut because I can't stand condoms, and have raised 2 families already.
- Ross.
AKA TPC

JetBoatRich
11-23-2003, 07:48 AM
Most of the time it goes fine, but they are right the "TUGGING" hurt the most:rolleyes: feel like the Doctor is pulling your insides out. Does not last long and off you go:eek!:

MJ19
11-23-2003, 11:10 AM
Originally posted by Kilrtoy
Im gonna make the wife read this thread
NO sympathy here boys ...try pushing a watermellon out your vagina...H-E-L-L-O...buck up and do your part! :D

rrrr
11-23-2003, 11:38 AM
Originally posted by MJ19
NO sympathy here boys ...try pushing a watermellon out your vagina...H-E-L-L-O...buck up and do your part! :D
LMAO! :D :D
I knew we could count on the girls to stand behind us in our time of need. :D :D

DansBlown73Nordic
11-23-2003, 12:05 PM
I think that is why Klinger from Mash was always in a dress.....:eek!:

Dr. Eagle
11-23-2003, 01:58 PM
Sorry, no buck ups allowed...:confused: :D :D :D :D :D

MJ19
11-24-2003, 07:54 AM
Originally posted by Dr. Eagle
Sorry, no buck ups allowed...:confused: :D :D :D :D :D
Pathetic Chicken ;) :D

HammerDown
11-24-2003, 08:17 AM
After reading all this I laughed and felt sick at the same time (belive it was the comment about the jerking eye balls).
Makes me wonder...so whats wrong with giving the ol lady the "money shot" all the time:rolleyes: :D

NashvilleBound
11-24-2003, 09:41 AM
It might not have been exactly my eyeballs that jerked. Could have been anything as when he was fishing in there I could feel all sorts of stuff getting pulled and all sorts of uncontrolable twitches. Does that help?
OH, and MJ, We do our part. Ok, so it's 3 or 4 minutes of hell...now you have to do yours ;) :D You don't see us whining about it do ya????? Sheesh...lol...

THE VIKING
11-24-2003, 10:50 AM
And i must say that what hurt almost as must as the doc's "ball-fileting-thing" was the lab, who just poured ferfectly good sperm, with premium vikinggenes out in the zink, when i could have got at least 300 bucks for it from a couple of dykes.
****ers
The viking.

Havasu_Dreamin
11-24-2003, 11:41 AM
Can't you get knocked out for this procedure? I mean, if I ever have this done, based on what I've read today, I don't want to be awake for it! Knock my ass out, snip-snip and give me some vicodin!

NashvilleBound
11-24-2003, 06:23 PM
I have heard of private docs doing a local...like twilight sleep for the guys that are really supposed to be chicks....its really more embarassing than anything else. Youll be fine...

Wet Dream
11-24-2003, 06:30 PM
Originally posted by MJ19
NO sympathy here boys ...try pushing a watermellon out your vagina...H-E-L-L-O...buck up and do your part! :D
And you have many kids? :confused:

Wet Dream
11-24-2003, 06:32 PM
Originally posted by HammerDown
After reading all this I laughed and felt sick at the same time (belive it was the comment about the jerking eye balls).
Makes me wonder...so whats wrong with giving the ol lady the "money shot" all the time:rolleyes: :D
You still give the money shot, but theres no little spermies in the mix.

JetBoatRich
11-24-2003, 08:53 PM
Originally posted by Havasu_Dreamin
Can't you get knocked out for this procedure? I mean, if I ever have this done, based on what I've read today, I don't want to be awake for it! Knock my ass out, snip-snip and give me some vicodin!
I think they like someone to talk to while they are working:rolleyes:

MJ19
11-26-2003, 07:59 AM
Originally posted by NashvilleBound
OH, and MJ, We do our part. Ok, so it's 3 or 4 minutes of hell...now you have to do yours ;) :D You don't see us whining about it do ya????? Sheesh...lol...
I don't see YOU whinning about it, because you are a MANLY MAN Jeff :D
But there are some men on here that have wives that have given birth and those men are whinning about it...and those are the men I think should buck up :) They know who they are :p ;)