Her454
12-01-2003, 01:01 PM
And shame on me for posting this...........;)
> > How many men does it take to open a beer?
> > None. It should be opened when she brings it.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
> > Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
> > never
> > be able to support you.
> > --------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Why do women have smaller feet than men?
> > It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
> > them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
> > When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > How do you fix a woman's watch?
> > You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Why do men fart more than women?
> > Because women can't shut up long enough to
> > build up the required pressure.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife
> > is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
> > The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
> > A woman who won't do what she's told.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > I married a Miss Right.
> > I just didn't know her first name was Always.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
> > a woman's sex drive by 90%.
> > It's called a Wedding Cake.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Why do men die before their wives?
> > They want to.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Women will never be equal to men until they can
> > walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
> > gut, and still think they are sexy.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
> > Then God created Man and rested.
> > Then God created Woman.
> > Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. ;)
> > How many men does it take to open a beer?
> > None. It should be opened when she brings it.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
> > Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
> > never
> > be able to support you.
> > --------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Why do women have smaller feet than men?
> > It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
> > them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
> > When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > How do you fix a woman's watch?
> > You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Why do men fart more than women?
> > Because women can't shut up long enough to
> > build up the required pressure.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife
> > is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
> > The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
> > A woman who won't do what she's told.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > I married a Miss Right.
> > I just didn't know her first name was Always.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
> > a woman's sex drive by 90%.
> > It's called a Wedding Cake.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Why do men die before their wives?
> > They want to.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Women will never be equal to men until they can
> > walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
> > gut, and still think they are sexy.
> > -------------------------------------------------------------------
> > In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
> > Then God created Man and rested.
> > Then God created Woman.
> > Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. ;)