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topless
01-05-2004, 06:25 PM
He said . . . I don't now why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you?
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He said . . .Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . . . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa.
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He said . . . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . . .Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
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On a wall in a ladies room . . .. "My husband follows me everywhere"
Written just below it . . . " I do not"
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Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.
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Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A. The bonds mature.
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Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.
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Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. We don't know; it has never happened.
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Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A. They already have boyfriends.
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Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.
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Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
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Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."

MRS FLYIN VEE
01-05-2004, 06:27 PM
ROTFLMAO!!!! I I I ..I think I love you.. :D :D
great jokes thanks topless.. :D :D :D

ratso
01-05-2004, 06:29 PM
...hey, that ain't right...:p

ratso
01-05-2004, 07:13 PM
What does a woman and a condom have in common?
Both spend too much time in your wallet and not enough time on your dick. :D
I read how there are more than one million battered women in the US each year... All these years I've been eating them raw.:D

Kachina26
01-05-2004, 07:28 PM
Why do men die before their wives? Because they want to!

MRS FLYIN VEE
01-05-2004, 07:30 PM
men are like .......
floor tiles, if you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years....:D :D

ratso
01-05-2004, 07:44 PM
What is a birth control pill?
The other thing a woman can put in her mouth to keep from getting pregnant.

MRS FLYIN VEE
01-05-2004, 07:46 PM
men are like.............
computers, hard to figure out and never have enough memory... :D

topless
01-05-2004, 08:14 PM
Originally posted by MRS FLYIN VEE
men are like.............
computers, hard to figure out and never have enough memory... :D Looks like we hit a few nerves huh VEE??? Also looks like not many men here understood them either. LMAO!!!!!!!!!! Hey, PM me, I wanna come over for super bowl! Luv ya girlie!:D

Kachina26
01-05-2004, 10:17 PM
Did you hear the one about the 2 women that walked into a bar? Couple of real dopes, you think they would have seen it.:D :D

topless
01-06-2004, 12:19 AM
I'll give ya that one Kachina, that was good.:D :D

HavasuDreamin'
01-06-2004, 06:16 AM
The wife says to her husband while looking in the mirror............honey I need bigger breasts. Husband says..........grab some toilet paper and rub it between your breasts. Wife says...........does this really work? Husband says.........it certainly did for your a**. :eek: :D

MagicMtnDan
01-06-2004, 06:59 AM
http://personal.ecu.edu/wuenschk/jpg/drruth.gif

MsDrmr
01-06-2004, 09:19 AM
Good ones Topless,,,,Keep the reality flowing

Chris Winn
01-06-2004, 11:04 AM
my wife read your jokes last night, she now has some ammunition back on the jokes I have been cracking about her for years now. now i have to watch what i say!

MsDrmr
01-06-2004, 11:12 AM
Originally posted by Chris Winn
my wife read your jokes last night, she now has some ammunition back on the jokes I have been cracking about her for years now. now i have to watch what i say!
OOOOHHHHH I am so sorry,,,did'nt your momma ever tell you what comes around, goes around?

diggler
01-06-2004, 11:29 AM
I just had to post this one...
How long does it take a woman to orgasm?
WHO CARES???!!

Chris Winn
01-06-2004, 11:39 AM
yeah, she warned me. but this one the one item I had on her, now its compromised