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View Full Version : No offense to those of you in Tennessee....



Rock-A-Bye-Baby
03-28-2006, 01:37 PM
But these are funny....
A guy from Tennessee passed away and left his entire estate to his
beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.
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How do you know when you're staying in a Tennessee hotel? When you
call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink", and the
clerk replies, "Go ahead."
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How can you tell if a Tennessee redneck is married? There's dried
tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck.
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Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in
Tennessee to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high
schools.
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What do they call reruns of
"Hee Haw" in Tennessee? Documentaries.
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Where was the toothbrush invented? Tennessee. If it had been
invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teeth brush.
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A Tennessee State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-65 and says to
the driver, "Got any I! .D.?" and the driver replies "Bout wut?"
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Did you hear about the $3 million Tennessee State Lottery? (Come
on- this is funny!) The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million
years.
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The governor's mansion in Tennessee burned down! Yep. Pert' near
took out the whole trailer park. The library was a total loss too.
Both books-poof! up in flames and he hadn't even finished coloring
one of them.
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A new law was
recently passed in Tennessee. When a couple gets
divorced, they are STILL cousins.
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A guy walks into a bar in Tennessee and orders a mudslide. The
bartender looks at the man and says, "You ain't from 'round here
are ya?
"No," replies the man, "I'm from Pennsylvania".
The bartender looks at him and says, "Well, what do ya do in
Pennsylvania?"
"I'm a taxidermist," said the man.
The bartender, looking very bewildered now, asks, "What in the
world is a tax-e-derm-ist?
"The man says, "I mount animals".
The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar..."It's okay
boys, he's one of us!"

Warlockjer
03-28-2006, 02:15 PM
Now that's some funny stuff right there :) :)

Waldo
03-28-2006, 04:26 PM
Dumb Washington Laws
All lollipops are banned.
A law to reduce crime states: "It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town."
It is illegal to paint polka dots on the American flag.
People may not buy a mattress on Sunday.
All motor vehicles must be preceded by a man carrying a red flag (daytime) or a red lantern (nighttime) fifty feet in front of said vehicle.
It is illegal to pretend that one's parents are rich.
You are not allowed to breast feed in public.
When two trains come to a crossing, neither shall go until the other has passed.
You are breaking the law if you sell or place in the stream of commerce a crib that has: corner posts that extend more than 1/16-inch above end panels; slats more than 2 3/8 inches apart; a mattress support that releases easily from corner posts; cutout designs on the end panels; tears in mesh or fabric; missing or loose screws, bolts, or hardware; sharp edges, points, or rough surfaces on wood surfaces that are not smooth and free from splinters, splits or cracks. The new Infant Crib Safety Act in California (AB 3760, Speier), Colorado (SB 98-023,Pascoe and Morrison) and Washington State (SSB 6229, Kohl and Pennington) states that "no commercial user shall manufacture, retrofit, sell, contract to sell or resell, lease, sublet or otherwise place in the stream of commerce, a full-size or non-full-size crib that is unsafe for any infant using the crib.
You cannot buy meat of any kind on Sunday.
Auburn
Men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, may face up to five years in jail.
Bremerton
You may not chuck peanuts on the street.
Everett
It is illegal to display a hypnotized or allegedly hypnotized person in a store window.
Lynden
Dancing and drinking may not occur at the same establishment.
Seattle
You may not carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length.
Women who sit on men's laps on buses or trains without placing a pillow between them face an automatic six-month jail term.
No one may set fire to another person's property without prior permission.
It is illegal to carry a fishbowl or aquarium onto a bus because the sound of the water sloshing may disturb other passengers.
Spokane
TV's may not be bought on Sundays.
Waldron Island
No structure shall contain more than two toilets that use potable water for flushing. -San Juan County Ordinance NO. 7 -1995 (Passed June 7,1995)
Wilbur
You may not ride an ugly horse.

Rock-A-Bye-Baby
03-28-2006, 08:00 PM
and you wonder why i moved?

Kilrtoy
03-28-2006, 08:14 PM
A guy walks into a bar in Tennessee and orders a mudslide. The
bartender looks at the man and says, "You ain't from 'round here
are ya?
"No," replies the man, "I'm from Pennsylvania".
The bartender looks at him and says, "Well, what do ya do in
Pennsylvania?"
"I'm a taxidermist," said the man.
The bartender, looking very bewildered now, asks, "What in the
world is a tax-e-derm-ist?
"The man says, "I mount animals".
The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar..."It's okay
boys, he's one of us!"
That was the best one