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View Full Version : Some good one-liners...



HighRoller
03-04-2004, 05:00 PM
I don't know if anybody listens to Dave Ramsey on the radio, but he's a financial advisor type guy. Yesterday he was on a roll with one liners.
He mentioned that Dan Rather was always hammering on the Bad Economy:
"Bad Economy? Have you tried to get a parking spot at Wal-Mart lately?"
With regards to Enron and World Com employees who had their retirement 100% invested in company stock:
"They lost their money because they bet the farm on one horse, and a bad man shot the horse."
About retirement and wealth:
"The only way to get rich quick....is to get rich slow."
And my personal favorite:
"Money is like manure. Put it in one big pile and it stinks. Spread it out and it makes things grow."

BUSTI
03-04-2004, 05:13 PM
Roller
those are great. How about thus one:
Life is like a shit sandwich the more bread you got the less shit you eat!

ROZ
03-04-2004, 05:19 PM
I have always liked:
The quickest way to failure is pleasing everyone.

Kim Hanson
03-04-2004, 07:12 PM
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money.
I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
Hi, my name is {name}, how do you like me so far?
Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.
I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way.
Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine.
I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.
If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.
Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?
If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.
Excuse me, but I DO think it's time we met.
Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?
Is it cold in here, or are you just happy to see me.
Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?
Be unique and different, say yes.
.............( . )( . ).............:D

Kim Hanson
03-04-2004, 07:16 PM
Looking at life through the front windshield ...not the back!.....( . )( . )..:cool:

welk2party
03-04-2004, 08:02 PM
My favorite one is a signature from one of you.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes.

coolchange
03-04-2004, 09:21 PM
The only one I ever used and it worked pretty good.
If I told you ,"you have a nice ass", would you hold it against me?

OGShocker
03-05-2004, 07:33 AM
My favorite pick up line is...
Nice Shoes!
Wanna F**k?
Compliment followed by a question that limits your TOT (Time On Target).

welk2party
03-05-2004, 08:36 AM
Are those space pants you're wearing, because your ass is out of this world.

Duke
03-05-2004, 10:51 AM
how 'bout this one
I may not be a lawyer, but I can get you off!
:cool:

Richweed
03-05-2004, 11:20 AM
Wanna go back to my place for pizza and sex? NO! What you don't like pizza?

ITS ALL GOOD
03-05-2004, 11:29 AM
You know if I had and ass like yours, Iwould share it with you.

FMluvswater
03-05-2004, 12:50 PM
"I am the hottest hunk of burning testosterone you have EVER come into contact with."
I heard a guy say this once to this really snooty chick and my only thought was if she doesn't fall for that can I? :D His confidence wasn't misplaced. ;)