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Her454
03-29-2006, 07:19 AM
Immediate Opening for experienced builder in Nor Cal to construct custom Ark. Must be at least 4 bedroom, 3 baths with large garage. Able to carry family, friends and many pets. Builder must be able to work in extremely stormy conditions with fast rising water.
4 Wheel drive a must as construction site is difficult to reach.
Will pay top dollar for completion by end of week.

lucky
03-29-2006, 07:22 AM
Immediate Opening for experienced builder in Nor Cal to construct custom Ark. Must be at least 4 bedroom, 3 baths with large garage. Able to carry family, friends and many pets. Builder must be able to work in extremely stormy conditions with fast rising water.
4 Wheel drive a must as construction site is difficult to reach.
Will pay top dollar for completion by end of week.
hell Just pull it out of the Garage traci :)

MagicMtnDan
03-29-2006, 07:23 AM
Getting a little rain up there?
http://www.fishingowl.co.za/images/Noah's%20Ark.jpg

Mandelon
03-29-2006, 07:25 AM
OH yessss. You are calling me! Those are my skills. Can we repopulate the earth? When I'm done with the 40 cubit boat dealio, I mean.... :crossx: :p

Her454
03-29-2006, 07:26 AM
OH yessss. You are calling me! Those are my skills. Can we repopulate the earth? When I'm done with the 40 cubit boat dealio, I mean.... :crossx: :p
Can you have it done my friday?

littlejake
03-29-2006, 07:26 AM
In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.
Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark.
"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.
Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.
Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!
When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me.
They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.
I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.
Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work.
The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.
To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.
So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark."
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"
"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."

Her454
03-29-2006, 07:32 AM
ROTFLMAO, So true, so true. F' the permits, Im desperate :) :rollside:

Squirtin Thunder
03-29-2006, 07:36 AM
ROTFLMAO, So true, so true. F' the permits, Im desperate :) :rollside:
We need pics !!!! :rollside:

Her454
03-29-2006, 07:39 AM
Like I said before...just keep sending the water down
:)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :cry: :cry: :cry: We dont need anymore water! It needs to rain on you for awhile! :)

Jordy
03-29-2006, 07:39 AM
We need pics !!!! :rollside:
Which ones do you want to see???? :D :D :D

Squirtin Thunder
03-29-2006, 07:40 AM
Some real good ones of ....................!!!!

H20 Toie
03-29-2006, 07:53 AM
In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.
Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark.
"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.
Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.
Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!
When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me.
They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.
I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.
Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work.
The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.
To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.
So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark."
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"
"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."
Now that is funny
or sad

Her454
03-29-2006, 08:11 AM
BTW, did I mention this Ark needs to be TurnKey also? I want something strong and dependable to escape rising waters quickly.

Jordy
03-29-2006, 08:14 AM
BTW, did I mention this Ark needs to be TurnKey also? I want something strong and dependable to escape rising waters quickly.
Wow, guess I'll have to get a great big TEAM TURNKEY sticker made up for this project. :D

Dave C
03-29-2006, 08:27 AM
two or three boat parking??

Her454
03-29-2006, 08:30 AM
two or three boat parking??
That would be 3 - and room for a quad, thanks for clarifying that for me. :rollside:

Dave C
03-29-2006, 08:37 AM
you need to have them put in a drop down garage door.... so thats "extra"....
BTW are they getting any snow east of mullet mountain? Is the chain control down to your house yet?
If so I will wave to you next time I drive by... :crossx:

Dave C
03-29-2006, 08:40 AM
the least you can do is say "thanks"... (ungrateful southern californians.... :mad: ) ;)
It has been raining down here but we just let it run into the ocean because we know we have unlimited resources coming down from N CA
:)

Her454
03-29-2006, 08:43 AM
you need to have them put in a drop down garage door.... so thats "extra"....
BTW are they getting any snow east of mullet mountain? Is the chain control down to your house yet?
If so I will wave to you next time I drive by... :crossx:
You are evil. :) Snow chains were required in Angels Camp two weeks ago but much higher now, just tons of rain and LOTS of flooding.
the least you can do is say "thanks"... (ungrateful southern californians.... :mad: ) ;)
Exactly. :) Shame on you DILLIGAF.

Dave C
03-29-2006, 09:02 AM
its OK as long as they don't start draining our favorite lakes.
But when they start taking water from our lakes I'm gonna send Her454 down to straighten you guys out.... :crossx:
We will just come and take it.....lol
But if it makes you feel better...Thanks :)
By the way...I grew up in Central CA and moved down here.

Her454
03-29-2006, 09:08 AM
That will work...Drain the lakes boys :)
:rollside: :rollside: :D

Dave C
03-29-2006, 09:14 AM
It wasn't meant as a good thing..... I pity the man that takes her lake away...

Dave C
03-29-2006, 09:17 AM
a man that plays with fire.... you're alright in my book!

Her454
03-29-2006, 09:20 AM
a man that plays with fire.... you're alright in my book!
LMAO! :rollside:

Her454
03-29-2006, 09:26 AM
The memories you guys bring back are much appreciated. Fire don't scare me
:)
Thats good..........................
http://www.hotboatpics.com/pics/data/500/139avtar.jpg

Dave C
03-29-2006, 09:37 AM
You and your Dad (no digg) are beginning to scare me..... :) :rollside: (except nodigg already scared me ;))
You two must have grown up in the hills outside of the central valley. There are some "strange" characters in dem dar hills..... present company excluded, of course.

WYRD
03-29-2006, 09:40 AM
To be politicly correct doesn't this belong in the SPAM section :crossx:

ELIMINAT THIS
03-29-2006, 09:43 AM
It has been raining down here but we just let it run into the ocean because we know we have unlimited resources coming down from N CA
:)
No problem,I feel sorry for you lakeless people. Btw thanks for letting us boat on all of your unlimited resources. :)

Dave C
03-29-2006, 09:48 AM
LOL I know I know.....
Monterey.. thats near Santa Cruz, the capital of weirdos here in Norcal.. That explains alot!!! ;)
BTW, ET just reminded me of something, when we boat on your water, we also drink beer and that leads to relieving ourselves in your water..... I like to think of it as recycling.... :rollside: :)
The farther North you get the more....
Ahhhh, never mind....lol
I grew up in Marina...outside of Monterey/Fort Ord

Dave C
03-29-2006, 10:02 AM
So THAT is what that smell was.... Last time I visited Havasu I kept asking everyone WTF was that smell and no one could smell it..... I thought I was just me... now you cleared it all up for me....
BTW you need not be PC. If you want to call them a bunch of f-ing degenerate pot-smoking tree-hugging no-job loser hippies... go right ahead!! ;)
Do you know if the official song of SC is "I don't want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day"....
Us in Mohave actually send our crap down to Havasu. We don't consider it recycling, we just enjoy tormenting our neighbors to the South...lol
Growing up in the Monterey Bay area Santa Cruz seemed a long ways away. SC is definitly for people that are a little different. Trying to be PC here :)

Dave C
03-29-2006, 12:41 PM
sorry, I promise when I drive by to drop off a big bottle of Baileys and a one very small packet of hot chocolate....... as a peace offering ;)
You are evil. :) .

Her454
03-29-2006, 12:42 PM
sorry, I promise when I drive by to drop off a big bottle of Baileys and a one very small packet of hot chocolate....... as a peace offering ;)
LOL I am going to remember that ;)

Her454
03-29-2006, 12:55 PM
Afraid of fire? lol
:rollside: :rollside: :rollside:

Dave C
03-29-2006, 01:51 PM
I ain't no fire walker...

Her454
03-31-2006, 05:37 PM
After tonight's drive home in the storm, I am upping the price for the ARK! :cry: :cry:
23 days of f'ng RAIN! We are half way to Noah's days.