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73beast
04-19-2004, 05:08 PM
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their
parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their
stories.
Johnny, do you have a story to share?"
Yes, ma'am, my daddy told a story about my Aunt Carol. Aunt Carol was
a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail
out over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey,
a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so
it wouldn't fall into enemy hands and then her parachute landed right in
the middle of twenty enemy troops.
She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of
bullets, killed four more with the knife, 'til the blade broke and then
she killed the last one with her bare hands.
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What kind of moral
did your daddy teach you from that horrible story?
"Don't f@&k with Aunt Carol when she's been drinking."

MRS FLYIN VEE
04-19-2004, 05:11 PM
ROTFLMAO!!! :D :D :D :D

Debbolas
04-19-2004, 05:27 PM
I have an Aunt Carol, and come to think of it that describes her perfectly...............lol;)

Kilrtoy
04-19-2004, 07:26 PM
WOW, very nice, was she on the rag too

wannajetboat
04-19-2004, 07:35 PM
That is some funny stuff...
Pardon Me, can someone please tell me what the hell ROTFLMAO stands for...

Moneypitt
04-19-2004, 07:42 PM
Sure, someone was good enough to tell me a while back:
"rolled on the floor laughed my ass off"...ROTFLMAO

wannajetboat
04-19-2004, 07:49 PM
Thanks moneypitt, now I wont feel like such a dumbass.

ratso
04-19-2004, 08:13 PM
This has always been one of my favorites:
One day during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said.
"Excellent Michael," and then she called on little Johnny.
"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, "Beautiful, just ****ing beautiful!":D

Debbolas
04-20-2004, 10:27 AM
Originally posted by Kilrtoy
WOW, very nice, was she on the rag too
you just didn't talk to Aunt Carol about THAT!!
lol
:D

victorfb
04-20-2004, 10:38 AM
Im nameing my first son "Little Johnny" for sure. :D

HCS
04-20-2004, 10:41 AM
Originally posted by wannajetboat
That is some funny stuff...
Pardon Me, can someone please tell me what the hell ROTFLMAO stands for...
RalphOnTheFloorLaughMyAssOff.:D :D

73beast
04-20-2004, 05:00 PM
Originally posted by riodog
Beast, is "Aunt Carol" the bitch you were trying to set me up with?
R$ io
I thought "Aunt Carol" was your right hand..:D :D