Ex girlfriends...Ratso you go first :)

[hd&boatrider]

I know you got a few for us here :)

[Boozer]

are we suppose to tell horror stories about x's or what?

[hd&boatrider]

Just follow Ratso's lead.....

[ratso]

I'm all typed out tonight...:D

[Boozer]

Then he needs to hurry his ass up

[ratso]

You guys are killing me now.:)

[Kilrtoy]

What

[Mrs. Restless22]

Ratso tell us about the one that took the gold card and the BMW :D

[Tom Brown]

Originally posted by ratso
You guys are killing me now.:)
Us guys? :confused:
:D :D :D

[ratso]

Originally posted by Kilrtoy
What
...this one would be a good story I bet.

[hd&boatrider]

Originally posted by Mrs. Restless22
Ratso tell us about the one that took the gold card and the BMW :D
You wanna hear the one about the ex who was always trying to stab me?

[ratso]

Originally posted by Mrs. Restless22
Ratso tell us about the one that took the gold card and the BMW :D
...you mean the stripper?:D

[Tom Brown]

I'd rather hear about the ex who really did stab Ratso.

[Mrs. Restless22]

:eek: Stab you?!?

[Boozer]

Originally posted by hd&boatrider
You wanna hear the one about the ex who was always trying to stab me?
WTF?!?!?!
I bet she was an awesome lay.

[hd&boatrider]

Originally posted by ratso
...you mean the stripper?:D
Ratso....you get the first post on the subject....

[Mrs. Restless22]

Originally posted by Tom Brown
I'd rather hear about the ex who really did stab Ratso.
Shes the one hes still married to...

[Tom Brown]

Originally posted by ratso
...you mean the stripper?:D
Get out! Who would have thought a stripper would be materialistic? :confused:
:D :D :D

[hd&boatrider]

Originally posted by Boozer
WTF?!?!?!
I bet she was an awesome lay.
Lets just say it was very passionate....lol

[ratso]

hd...you started this. I wanna hear about the one that tried to stab you, especially about how good the sex must have been with that one.:D

[Mrs. Restless22]

Ratso how about the one that was young enough to be your granddaughter, she musta been a good lay :D :D

[Kilrtoy]

But we all know,
That the crazy bitches are the best sex.
They let you do things to them,
that even a farm boy from the Bayou wouldnt do to a farm animal.

[Boozer]

Originally posted by ratso
hd...you started this. I wanna hear about the one that tried to stab you, especially about how good the sex must have been with that one.:D
That's what I'm sayin. She musta been a FREAK!

[hd&boatrider]

Originally posted by Boozer
That's what I'm sayin. She musta been a FREAK!
Not only a freak but a spinner.....

[hd&boatrider]

Originally posted by ratso
hd...you started this. I wanna hear about the one that tried to stab you, especially about how good the sex must have been with that one.:D
Which time? It was an every other week kinda thing :)

[ratso]

Originally posted by Mrs. Restless22
Ratso how about the one that was young enough to be your granddaughter, she musta been a good lay :D :D
...actually she wasn't that good.
Granddaughter...that's funny.:D
She was 19 years younger than me...3 years older than my son.

[Kilrtoy]

So she was 18 and a day

[ratso]

2 pages in 10 minutes...is that a record?

[Mrs. Restless22]

Damn this thread hit 2 pages fast

[Kilrtoy]

No

[Boozer]

Lets go 3 in 13 and make sure it is a record

[Mrs. Restless22]

Wanna hear about the girl I dated?? :D :D

[ratso]

She was 24 Kilrtoy.
mrs restless called me a pimp once...but 18 would make me a dog.:D

[Boozer]

Originally posted by Mrs. Restless22
Wanna hear about the girl I dated?? :D :D
Only if she had nice tits

[hd&boatrider]

Originally posted by ratso
2 pages in 10 minutes...is that a record?
Come on Ratso....you know they are here for that storytelling talent you have. Second only to Trailer Park Cassanove :)

[MudPumper]

Is a fat dog heavy????? Do TEll

[Kilrtoy]

Wanna hear about the girl I dated
Hell yeah, show us some pics of her also

[ratso]

Originally posted by Mrs. Restless22
Wanna hear about the girl I dated?? :D :D
...now we're getting somewhere.:D

[hd&boatrider]

Originally posted by Mrs. Restless22
Wanna hear about the girl I dated?? :D :D
I do.... I will probably have to delete this thread also so it will be safe :)

[MudPumper]

I was going to bed, but I'm gonna stay up a while now!!!:D

[Boozer]

So were her tits nice or what?

[Mrs. Restless22]

She didnt play with knives, but that silver bullet got alot of use :D :D

[ratso]

Originally posted by hd&boatrider
Come on Ratso....you know they are here for that storytelling talent you have. Second only to Trailer Park Cassanove :)
TPC has some good stories.:D

[hd&boatrider]

Bet you we hit 5 pages in 9 minutes....haha

[Boozer]

Originally posted by Mrs. Restless22
She didnt play with knives, but that silver bullet got alot of use :D :D
Do tell..

[Mrs. Restless22]

Originally posted by Boozer
Do tell..
I thought you only cared about her tits? haha

[Kilrtoy]

this is getting good, thanks to restless

[hd&boatrider]

Alright everybody...MrsRestless has the floor....

[ratso]

Originally posted by Mrs. Restless22
She didnt play with knives, but that silver bullet got alot of use :D :D
I saw some pics of that "ammo" one cold winter night.:D

[Mrs. Restless22]

I was more interested in Ratso stories....

[Mrs. Restless22]

Originally posted by ratso
I saw some pics of that "ammo" one cold winter night.:D
:eek: :D :D :D

[Boozer]

Originally posted by Mrs. Restless22
I thought you only cared about her tits? haha
Well you changed my mind. I want to hear about the WHOLE PACKAGE and all the things you did to it.

[ratso]

Originally posted by Mrs. Restless22
I was more interested in Ratso stories....
Show me yours and I'll show you mine.:p

[Mrs. Restless22]

3 pages down....6 more to go:D

[Kilrtoy]

getting to typing girl

[Phat Matt]

Originally posted by Mrs. Restless22
She didnt play with knives, but that silver bullet got alot of use :D :D
She could take a Coors Light? :D Bottle or can? I've seen Corona's in Copper Canyon. Those were the days!:D

[Kilrtoy]

She could take a Coors Light
Thats too funny,
Last weekend I watched this chick take my corona bottle, Damn it looked nice

[ratso]

I know she has some good ones...but just one would be OK with me.

[MudPumper]

Originally posted by Phat Matt
She could take a Coors Light? :D Bottle or can? I've seen Corona's in Copper Canyon. Those were the days!:D
Seen that many times, Show Stopper!!!!!! Nothing beats the Makita with the dildo!!!!

[ratso]

Originally posted by MudPumper
Seen that many times, Show Stopper!!!!!! Nothing beats the Makita with the dildo!!!!
Should I bring my toolbox to OP6?:)

[Phat Matt]

Originally posted by Kilrtoy
She could take a Coors Light
Thats too funny,
Last weekend I watched this chick take my corona bottle, Damn it looked nice
Did you use her to take the top off? :D

[ratso]

mrs restless has been gone a few minutes...maybe she is typing.:D

[Kilrtoy]

Nothing beats the Makita with the dildo!!!!
Did that too
no the bottle was already open....

[Kilrtoy]

mrs restless has been gone a few minutes...maybe she is typing.
Lets hope so

[MudPumper]

Originally posted by ratso
Should I bring my toolbox to OP6?:)
Would that count for the "best sand bar devise????"

[Phat Matt]

Originally posted by MudPumper
Seen that many times, Show Stopper!!!!!! Nothing beats the Makita with the dildo!!!!
Are we talking cordless or plug in? If cordless, could we hook it up to an Optima for little extended fun? :D

[ratso]

I think she is talking to mrs vee on the thread deleting deal...:D

[Kilrtoy]

Handheld
trust me the battery it has is more than they can handle

[MudPumper]

Cordless for sure, Dewalt has one that is also a hammer drill, chicks might dig it!!!

[MRS FLYIN VEE]

I don't have an ex girlfriend can I post here? :confused: :D :D

[MRS FLYIN VEE]

Originally posted by ratso
I think she is talking to mrs vee on the thread deleting deal...:D
and whats wrong with that? :D :D

[ratso]

Originally posted by MudPumper
Would that count for the "best sand bar devise????"
A "SNAP-ON" full of strap-ons...:D

[Mrs. Restless22]

Originally posted by ratso
A "SNAP-ON" full of strap-ons...:D
:eek: :D
Yup.....he takes the cake!!

[ratso]

Originally posted by MRS FLYIN VEE
and whats wrong with that? :D :D
Good to see you mrs vee...been drinking tonight?:D

[MudPumper]

Previously posted by Mrs Restless
They started talking tools....I cant hang with tool talk

[Kilrtoy]

I don't have an ex girlfriend can I post here
You want one

[hd&boatrider]

Originally posted by MRS FLYIN VEE
and whats wrong with that? :D :D
Ya, what she said....

[Phat Matt]

Originally posted by MudPumper
Cordless for sure, Dewalt has one that is also a hammer drill, chicks might dig it!!!
What about air tools? They get tires off fast in nascar, I wonder if they wold work as fast on chicks? :)

[MudPumper]

:D :D :D

[MRS FLYIN VEE]

I don't know is it worth the shit talk afterwards.. LOL!! J/K ;) :D :D

[Mrs. Restless22]

I think Mrs.Vee has some tools in her garage...I can be your ex sweetie :D

[Kilrtoy]

Find out Mrs Vee

[MRS FLYIN VEE]

Originally posted by ratso
Good to see you mrs vee...been drinking tonight?:D
nope.. manyana.. ;)

[MudPumper]

Originally posted by Phat Matt
What about air tools? They get tires off fast in nascar, I wonder if they wold work as fast on chicks? :)
Air tools = High RPM, gonna have to rig up a lube injection devise or she'll start smokin!!!:D

[Mrs. Restless22]

Originally posted by MudPumper
Air tools = High RPM, gonna have to rig up a lube injection devise or she'll start smokin!!!:D
:eek: OUCH! :D

[MRS FLYIN VEE]

Originally posted by Mrs. Restless22
I think Mrs.Vee has some tools in her garage...I can be your ex sweetie :D
I have lots of tools in the bedroom too. want to come help me build up somethings.. LMAO!! J/K :D :D :eek!: :eek!:

[Boozer]

Originally posted by MudPumper
Air tools = High RPM, gonna have to rig up a lube injection devise or she'll start smokin!!!:D
Just equip it with a pneumatic luber.

[Mrs. Restless22]

What do you think our creative minds would build?? :D

[Kilrtoy]

Can I watch:eek:

[Phat Matt]

Originally posted by MudPumper
Air tools = High RPM, gonna have to rig up a lube injection devise or she'll start smokin!!!:D
lol. Well how many gallons of gas can they dump in a tank in a matter of seconds? We can fill that with lube. We can have a whole pit crew working on her!:D

[Kilrtoy]

A double deck pancake
What do you think our creative minds would build

[MudPumper]

Originally posted by Mrs. Restless22
What do you think our creative minds would build?? :D
Screw Monster Garage, I think we have a great idea for a new show!!!

[MRS FLYIN VEE]

Originally posted by Mrs. Restless22
What do you think our creative minds would build?? :D
well it is all in the body.. build it up and release with pleasure.. :eek: :eek: :D :D

[MudPumper]

Originally posted by Phat Matt
lol. Well how many gallons of gas can they dump in a tank in a matter of seconds? We can fill that with lube. We can have a whole pit crew working on her!:D
They call em "Quick Dumps" They say to only use 3 drops of the Astro Glide. A Quick Dump full and somebody might fall and bust their head on the floor tile!!!

[ratso]

I think we have a new HBO special in the making.

[Mrs. Restless22]

Originally posted by MRS FLYIN VEE
well it is all in the body.. build it up and release with pleasure.. :eek: :eek: :D :D
:D :D :D

[hd&boatrider]

By the way MrsRestless you were right about the delete thing :)

[MudPumper]

Originally posted by ratso
I think we have a new HBO special in the making.
Real Sandbar Sex 29

[Mrs. Restless22]

Originally posted by hd&boatrider
By the way MrsRestless you were right about the delete thing :)
Toldya so ;)

[Kilrtoy]

Real Sandbar Sex 29
Nice

[Mrs. Restless22]

So do we get to hear a famous Ratso story before bed???

[Tom Brown]

Originally posted by MudPumper
Screw Monster Garage, I think we have a great idea for a new show!!!
Monster Orgasm

[Kilrtoy]

So do we get to hear a famous Ratso story before bed???
We are waiting for your story

[MRS FLYIN VEE]

yah we are waiting with tools in hand.. LOL!! :eek: :D :D :D

[MudPumper]

Maybe he's typing????? ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!

[Mrs. Restless22]

Ive got the makita....now how do I turn it on :confused: :D

[Kilrtoy]

Oh this thread is dying quickly:yuk: :mad:

[Phat Matt]

Originally posted by Mrs. Restless22
Ive got the makita....now how do I turn it on :confused: :D
Do you have the proper attachments? :D

[MudPumper]

Originally posted by Mrs. Restless22
Ive got the makita....now how do I turn it on :confused: :D
Just squeeze the trigger, You dont turn it on, it will turn you on!!!!

[ratso]

Originally posted by Mrs. Restless22
So do we get to hear a famous Ratso story before bed???
I think I've bored everybody enough with those...:D
I don't want to hijack this thread too...

[ratso]

Originally posted by Kilrtoy
Oh this thread is dying quickly:yuk: :mad:
We got her real damn close though.:D

[Kilrtoy]

We got her real damn close though
She did a real good job of teasing us , thats all

[Phat Matt]

Originally posted by ratso
I think I've bored everybody enough with those...:D
I don't want to hijack this thread too...
I think that was my fault. :( But I couldn't leave the Silver Bullet alone! :D

[Kilrtoy]

This thread is DEAD

[MudPumper]

Fork is in it!!!!

[Drunk tank]

damn... these stories are lame.
I tell my story then
Back when I was in my senior year of high school i was datin this girl named Alicia. Anyhow, Alicia was easy... damn easy. I was tappin that ass within a week, but I got skills like that. Been told by many girls, "I've never had sex with a guy so soon before" so its to be expected. Anyhow, I go out with her for about a month and then I'm going to cali to work for the summer befor starting college. Well once I let her know this... things start getting weird. One night we're sittin their and she looks over at me and goes "You know, I used to be a witch." And then she starts tellin me about wica and shit. I'm no good church boy by any means but that shit had me lookin for a crucifix and prayin she wasnt gonna sacrafice me. then one evening we were fawkin in my truck underneath the end of the local runway and after blowin a load in her mouth I figure we can talk for 40 seconds while I reload. well.. conversation takes a weird turn. She starts talkin about her ex's and how shes been hurt and al that blah blah blah. Then she starts talking about what shes gonna do if I hurt her. Goes on about how she worked for a vet and that "The next guy who hurts me, I'm gonna inject him with (insert drugname here)" me, "Whats that do?" her, "It paralyzes them but still ets them feel everything. Then I'm going to cut open their nut sack, take out their balls, stuff it full of cotton, and then soe it back up. Then I'll leave them there to die"
well... since i was about to break her little heart in a week I figured fawk this... took off to cali 2 days later. No sense in waiting for a week to get my nuts cut off! Never seen her since. Oh well, she had a hairy cooch and wouldnt shave (or trim) and thats bad. Sure she had a killer body, but the whole mini afro I should of known was bad mojo from the start. I will never again date a girl with a afro on the down low.

[PlyaPlya22]

Originally posted by Kilrtoy
But we all know,
That the crazy bitches are the best sex.
They let you do things to them,
that even a farm boy from the Bayou wouldnt do to a farm animal.
Crazy in the head= Great in Bed....but then the hell out of Dodge::eek!:

[Kilrtoy]

Sure she had a killer body, but the whole mini afro
Only can due it once , never go back for seconds

[ratso]

Originally posted by Drunk tank
damn... these stories are lame.
I tell my story then
Back when I was in my senior year of high school i was datin this girl named Alicia. Anyhow, Alicia was easy... damn easy. I was tappin that ass within a week, but I got skills like that. Been told by many girls, "I've never had sex with a guy so soon before" so its to be expected. Anyhow, I go out with her for about a month and then I'm going to cali to work for the summer befor starting college. Well once I let her know this... things start getting weird. One night we're sittin their and she looks over at me and goes "You know, I used to be a witch." And then she starts tellin me about wica and shit. I'm no good church boy by any means but that shit had me lookin for a crucifix and prayin she wasnt gonna sacrafice me. then one evening we were fawkin in my truck underneath the end of the local runway and after blowin a load in her mouth I figure we can talk for 40 seconds while I reload. well.. conversation takes a weird turn. She starts talkin about her ex's and how shes been hurt and al that blah blah blah. Then she starts talking about what shes gonna do if I hurt her. Goes on about how she worked for a vet and that "The next guy who hurts me, I'm gonna inject him with (insert drugname here)" me, "Whats that do?" her, "It paralyzes them but still ets them feel everything. Then I'm going to cut open their nut sack, take out their balls, stuff it full of cotton, and then soe it back up. Then I'll leave them there to die"
well... since i was about to break her little heart in a week I figured fawk this... took off to cali 2 days later. No sense in waiting for a week to get my nuts cut off! Never seen her since. Oh well, she had a hairy cooch and wouldnt shave (or trim) and thats bad. Sure she had a killer body, but the whole mini afro I should of known was bad mojo from the start. I will never again date a girl with a afro on the down low.
That story reminds me of this chick a buddy of mine dated once that worked for Advanced Auto Parts.:D

[ratso]

Originally posted by Kilrtoy
Sure she had a killer body, but the whole mini afro
Only can due it once , never go back for seconds
Even if they don't shave it, they could at least trim it down some.:yuk:

[MRS FLYIN VEE]

what happen to the story.. :confused:

[Kilrtoy]

That story reminds me of this chick a buddy of mine dated once that worked for Advanced Auto Parts
That is too funny
im still laughing at your comment

[Kilrtoy]

Even if they don't shave it, they could at least trim it down some
hell no Proper grooming is IMPORTANT
Cant hang with the smell that the hair brings or should I say RETAINS:yuk:

[ratso]

Originally posted by MRS FLYIN VEE
what happen to the story.. :confused:
we were waiting on one from you or mrs restless...:D

[Drunk tank]

I all about risk managment!
I have also noticed that there seem to be more hairy chics per capita in CO than the rest of the west. Cali and AZ... havnt met an ass that wasnt shaved smoother than a babbies ass. Colo... 50% chance of gettin a chic with a hairy cooch (though be it very wells trimmed). For some reason CO girls just dont liek to shaze it all. They cant use that its cold excuse either. all I gots a racing strip and some bald balls... never had them shiver in the winter.

[Kilrtoy]

we were waiting on one from you or mrs restless
Dont hold your breath, she is gone

[ratso]

Heck, it's 12:30 here...gonna turn in.
Later

[MRS FLYIN VEE]

Originally posted by ratso
we were waiting on one from you or mrs restless...:D
one what.. i don't have an ex girlfriend.. ;)

[Kilrtoy]

Like I said, do you need one

[MRS FLYIN VEE]

I don't know if I want one. after hearing the horror stories.. ;)

[Kilrtoy]

S long as you are the girlfriend you wont have that...:D

[MRS FLYIN VEE]

Originally posted by Kilrtoy
S long as you are the girlfriend you wont have that...:D
true.. ;) :p