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View Full Version : Keanu Reeves is a Polesmoker......



Mandelon
05-23-2004, 12:15 PM
Keanu Reeves and Alan Cumming get married
Wednesday March 31,11:59 PM ET
MASSACHUSETTS (Providence Journal) - First Rosie, now Keanu! Only days before the Massachusetts legislature was set to vote on the banning of gay marriages in their state, actors Keanu Reeves and Alan Cumming, raced over there to marry one another before a small party of invited friends. Reeves, star of such films as "The Matrix", "Something's Gotta Give" and "Point Break" had always been rumored to be gay, but always maintained his heterosexuality. Cumming, star of such films as "Spy Kids" and "X-Men 2" had always been openly bi-sexual, but had never married before. The duo, who had apparently been "secretly dating on-and-off" for over four years, wrote their own vows and recited them while Melissa Etheridge softly hummed "Come Through my Window" in the background.
The state of Massachusetts was getting set to amend the state constitution to ban gay marriage but establish civil unions for same-sex couples, which is one of the reasons the long-time companions decided to speed up the process and marry right now. Ex-talk show host Rosie O'Donnell married her six-year companion Kelli Carpenter in a similar high-profile celebrity gay wedding in San Francisco on February 27th. Reeves said that this was the "happiest day of his life, both professionally and personally". The couple, who held hands and french-kissed openly in a press conference after the civil ceremony, were happy to get it all out in the open, "I wanted to come out when The Matrix hit big, but my agents told me that it would be career suicide. I'm glad that I can finally tell the world that I am gay and proud today. Thanks to The Matrix Revolutions!"
Reeves and Cumming flew from Los Angeles to Auburn, Massachusetts yesterday afternoon, for a 4 p.m. appointment at the Auburn City Hall to obtain a marriage license. Immediately after the license was issued, the marriage ceremony was performed by City Treasurer K.D. Grant. The ceremony was held behind closed doors in a Mayor Gavin McCleod's office. "It was one of the most beautiful things that I have ever witnessed", said McCleod, "Keanu looked as though he was on cloud nine, while Cumming was in tears the whole way through. He was definitely the more 'queen' of the two". The wedding, a first for either actor, lasted only a few minutes, but featured plenty of bouquets and show tunes.
Cumming, elated by the whole affair, couldn't help but let his joy be known to the world at the jam-packed press conference, "I love Keanu Reeves and I don't care who knows! I am a man and I love another man and I am proud of it. Tom...come out already, you jerk!" Cumming's last remark apparently aimed at actor Tom Cruise, a celebrity who has been dogged by "gay rumors" since he hit it big, despite being married twice (to women), having children with one of them and dating plenty of women over the years. Reeves, embarrassed by Cumming remark, followed that up with a crude note about his partner's surname, "Forget Tom, Alan...I'm going to be Cumming with you tonight!" The crowd, made up of a variety of cross-dressers, transvestites, lesbians and business men in suits, squealed throughout most of the flashy affair.
:yuk: :yuk:
Sorry ladies, another one you missed out on.......:D

CEO
05-23-2004, 12:25 PM
sick!

Mandelon
05-23-2004, 12:26 PM
Some say it is only an April Fools gag..............but only his hairdresser knows for sure. :D

GlastronGuy
05-23-2004, 12:55 PM
DOH!
Ironically, we ran a similar story on the SAME DATE last year. You can read that one right here or the other similar story from the SAME DATE the year before, right here. Weird, eh? ;)
Link (http://www.joblo.com/index.php?id=3952)

Debbolas
05-23-2004, 12:56 PM
Say it is so!:(

v-drive
05-23-2004, 12:59 PM
Damn fagots

Forkin' Crazy
05-23-2004, 01:25 PM
As Andrew Dice Clay said," How can a man look at another man's hairy ass and say, 'I got to have that'?"

FRENCHIE
05-23-2004, 01:43 PM
sick bastards!:yuk:

JetBoatRich
05-23-2004, 03:14 PM
Bad acting and gay:yuk: :yuk:

MRS FLYIN VEE
05-23-2004, 04:55 PM
well that ruined the image I had of him.. :frown: :)

Infomaniac
05-23-2004, 04:59 PM
Appropriate use of "cumming" and "jam packed" in the article.

JetBoatRich
05-23-2004, 04:59 PM
Originally posted by MRS FLYIN VEE
well that ruined the image I had of him.. :frown: :)
You used to think better of him:(

MRS FLYIN VEE
05-23-2004, 05:01 PM
Originally posted by JetBoatRich
You used to think better of him:(
not really but I did like the matrix. now all I'm going to think of is gay porn.. :yuk: ;)

dicudmore
05-23-2004, 05:03 PM
um yuck.......

JetBoatRich
05-23-2004, 05:05 PM
Originally posted by MRS FLYIN VEE
not really but I did like the matrix. now all I'm going to think of is gay porn.. :yuk: ;)
lol:yuk: :yuk:

MRS FLYIN VEE
05-23-2004, 05:06 PM
yah what you said.. :D

hoolign
05-23-2004, 05:12 PM
Keanu Reeves.....I fuc ked him..OOOHHHH

MRS FLYIN VEE
05-23-2004, 05:14 PM
Originally posted by hoolign
Keanu Reeves.....I fuc ked him..OOOHHHH
:eek!: :eek!: :eek!: :eek!: are we proud or pissed because he didn't marry you.. :D :D

hoolign
05-23-2004, 05:21 PM
hickory dickory dock...keanu was suckin my....OOOOOH

MRS FLYIN VEE
05-23-2004, 05:24 PM
Originally posted by hoolign
hickory dickory dock...keanu was suckin my....OOOOOH
the ohhhh fell out hickory dickery dock..:D :D

Debbolas
05-23-2004, 05:50 PM
Originally posted by MRS FLYIN VEE
not really but I did like the matrix. now all I'm going to think of is gay porn.. :yuk: ;)
I can't watch any Richard Guerre movies..........I keep imagining Gerbils.........................ick!:yuk:

MRS FLYIN VEE
05-23-2004, 05:51 PM
Originally posted by Debbolas
I can't watch any Richard Guerre movies..........I keep imagining Gerbils.........................ick!:yuk:
they removed that at the hospital down the street from us.. you know it Brotman.:yuk: ;) ;)

Debbolas
05-23-2004, 05:53 PM
In Santa Monica?

MRS FLYIN VEE
05-23-2004, 05:59 PM
Originally posted by Debbolas
In Santa Monica?
culver city.:D venice blvd..;)

Debbolas
05-23-2004, 06:00 PM
Still icky...................:yuk:

MRS FLYIN VEE
05-23-2004, 06:01 PM
yep and stinky.. :D :D

Debbolas
05-23-2004, 06:01 PM
:yuk:

MRS FLYIN VEE
05-23-2004, 06:06 PM
:D LOL!! :D

hoolign
05-23-2004, 06:28 PM
Originally posted by MRS FLYIN VEE
they removed that at the hospital down the street from us.. you know it Brotman.:yuk: ;) ;)
that story has been around forever, I heard rumor of a hospital in vancouver

MRS FLYIN VEE
05-23-2004, 06:30 PM
Originally posted by hoolign
that story has been around forever, I heard rumor of a hospital in vancouver
well not sure where it was now.. but I'm glad I wasn't the dr.. that had to do the job.. :yuk: ;) ;)

Debbolas
05-23-2004, 06:41 PM
Have you guys heard the one about the cucumber?
;)

JetBoatRich
05-23-2004, 06:42 PM
Originally posted by Debbolas
Have you guys heard the one about the cucumber?
;)
no. tell my the story;)

MRS FLYIN VEE
05-23-2004, 06:43 PM
Originally posted by Debbolas
Have you guys heard the one about the cucumber?
;)
is that what you call tossing a salad? :D :eek:
but no I haven't do tell... :D

Debbolas
05-23-2004, 06:44 PM
Well, this guy goes to a hospital (Ahhell told me this one)
and there is a cucumber stuck up his bum, None of the doctors can figure out how to get it out. His muscles are clenched and NOTHING is working! Finally this hot shot doc comes in, and says............."Bring me a corkscrew"
LOL:D

MRS FLYIN VEE
05-23-2004, 06:46 PM
:yuk: :yuk: ;) it was a good one but yuk.. I wonder if it made the same sound as a cork in a bottle of wine.. ewwwwwww;)

Debbolas
05-23-2004, 06:48 PM
Totally gross, I wonder if that was a true story?
:yuk:

MRS FLYIN VEE
05-23-2004, 06:49 PM
well I wonder who smelt the cork after that one.. LMAO!! :yuk: :yuk:

Debbolas
05-23-2004, 06:50 PM
iewwwwww!!!
hopefully an urban legend, like the toothbrush one......;)

Dr. Eagle
05-23-2004, 07:50 PM
I always thought he was a pole smoker....
Don't know if he is the punter or the receiver, nor do I want to...
DUDE.....

KACHINA KEN
05-23-2004, 08:12 PM
Originally posted by FRENCHIE
sick bastards!:yuk:
Frenchie, I'll give you 50 bucks to change your avatar permanently, whddya say
Kenny

KACHINA KEN
05-23-2004, 08:12 PM
Originally posted by KACHINA KEN
Frenchie, I'll give you 50 bucks to change your avatar permanently, whddya say
Kenny
on hot boat & RRX

Dr. Eagle
05-23-2004, 08:13 PM
Originally posted by KACHINA KEN
Frenchie, I'll give you 50 bucks to change your avatar permanently, whddya say
Kenny
I'll chip in another $10:p

Debbolas
05-23-2004, 08:15 PM
I think you should put that pic of you and your "other " in your boat!;)

Dr. Eagle
05-23-2004, 08:21 PM
Originally posted by Debbolas
I think you should put that pic of you and your "other " in your boat!;)
Whom were you addressing Mrs... Missy?:confused:

Debbolas
05-23-2004, 08:23 PM
Frenchie!;)
we we

Dr. Eagle
05-23-2004, 08:28 PM
Originally posted by Debbolas
Frenchie!;)
we we
Time to correct the teach again...
oui oui...

Debbolas
05-23-2004, 08:29 PM
HELLO!
I am a tutor............and I am spelling phonetically.
In fact whenever you see that I have miss-spelled a word, just chalk it up to phonics!
:D

Dr. Eagle
05-23-2004, 08:34 PM
Originally posted by Debbolas
HELLO!
I am a tutor............and I am spelling phonetically.
In fact whenever you see that I have miss-spelled a word, just chalk it up to phonics!
:D
RRRRRiiiiiiiight...:p

Debbolas
05-23-2004, 08:37 PM
now you've got it!
:D