For Women only...............LOL

[Debbolas]

For Women only...................
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"
The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"
:D

[Debbolas]

Why Women Lie!!
One day, while a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a
river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the
Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?
The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water
and she needed the thimble to make her living.
The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden
thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress
replied, "No." The Lord again went down and came up with a wooden
thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. Again, the
seamstress replied, "No." The Lord went down again and came up with
a silver thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The
seamstress replied, "Yes."
The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all
three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.
Some time later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along
the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river. When she cried
out, The Lord again appeared and asked her, Why are you crying?"
"Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the water!" The Lord went down
into the water and came up with Mel Gibson. "Is this your husband?"
the Lord asked. "Yes," cried the seamstress.
The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!" The
seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a
misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Mel Gibson, you
would have come up with Tom Cruise. Then if I said 'no' to him, you
would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you
would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor woman and am not
able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said yes
to Mel Gibson."
The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it is for a good
and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others. That's our
story, and we're sticking to it.

[FMluvswater]

;) :D :cool:

[Debbolas]

My sister n law e-mailed them to me, I thought they were pretty good...................How are ya feeling today?

[FMluvswater]

A little bit better. :) Thanks. :)
Sometimes I get e-mails that are worth passing on, too. ;) :D Good call! Those were CUTE! :p :D

[Debbolas]

I agree!
very cute
:D

[FMluvswater]

:D LOL!

[Kim Hanson]

Originally posted by FMluvswaterbabe
A little bit better. :) Thanks. :)
Sometimes I get e-mails that are worth passing on, too. ;) :D Good call! Those were CUTE! :p :D
Is something wrong with you Babe?.......( . )( . ).......:confused:

[Tom Brown]

You had to know that Kimmy and I would rush to open a thread called, "For Women only".

[FMluvswater]

Originally posted by Kim Hanson
Is something wrong with you Babe?.......( . )( . ).......:confused:
Nothing major, Sugar. Just not feeling all that great lately. Like I said I'm feeling a bit better today. :) Thanks for caring. :)

[Debbolas]

Originally posted by Tom Brown
You had to know that Kimmy and I would rush to open a thread called, "For Women only".
Sorry, It's more of a warning than an advertisiment.
"Caution, women jokes, you guys just won't get"
LMAO!!!!:D
and we used the dreaded word.............cute

[Cas]

The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it
pretty much the most assinine thing I've read here in months :D:D :D

[Debbolas]

Originally posted by Cas
pretty much the most assinine thing I've read here in months :D:D :D
Worse than the "don't empty the pockets out before I wash clothes" thread?
Worse than the "poker run " thread & Kevins blistering answer............
Worse than the two lesbo weiner dog thread? LOL:D
Worse than the dancing chicken thread?
w:eek: w
:D

[Cas]

don't know about those to compare, I haven't read any of them :)

[Debbolas]

just kidding;)
I get a lot of weepy women e-mails (being a chick and all)
and I thought these two were pretty good. There were some others, well I won't bore you.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion;)

[Cas]

no need to be sorry and I was just kidding too....well, kind of :D

[Rexone]

The first one was good :D
The second one was... :rolleyes:
:D

[MagicMtnDan]

Originally posted by Debbolas
Sorry, It's more of a warning than an advertisiment.
"Caution, you guys just won't get it"
cute
Nothing new there - guys haven't been getting "it" ever since women realized they had "it" and guys want "it." :D

[Debbolas]

LOL :D