Bad American

[LASERRAY]

YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN
by George Carlin
I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.
I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4 years plus of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.
My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled Jerry Springer.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years In the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut-the-Hell-up already.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them.
I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.
If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.
We need our country back!
:cool:

[MagicMtnDan]

Cool stuff but attributing it to George Carlin is Internet folklore according to www.snopes.com
Snopes says it may have been written by the Nooge (Ted Nugent) or, maybe not. (http://www.snopes.com/language/document/carlin.htm)
Origins: Just about any unsourced list of witty observations about our politics and social mores gets credited to humorist George Carlin these days, even when it doesn't really sound like anything he would write. Carlin may sometimes use the format of stringing together a few dozen pithy comments about a wide variety of topical subjects, but the tone of his humor is nothing like this reactionary piece. If any doubt remained, Carlin himself swept it away by announcing on his web site that he is not the author of the article.
If not Carlin, then who did write it? This piece has also been credited to a number of decidedly conservative, outspoken media figures, such as rock star Ted Nugent, talk radio host Rush Limbaugh, and actor-comedian Denis Leary, but the even if the article may seem to echo the political opinions of these men, it doesn't quite match any of them, nor does the language used sound quite right for any of these figures. (Leary, like Carlin, has been credited with creating some other Internet favorites, such as a vituperative discourse on e-mail chain letters and the "Are You Man Enough?" essay.
This essay appeared in the FreeRepublic.com on-line forum back in September 2000 under the title "I Am a Bad Republican" (picking up title changes and additions since then as it was forwarded around the Internet), and the person who posted it there has taken credit for it in a recent message in that same forum.

[Krazy K]

Fireworks are legal up here and there is this park you can go up to and watch almost everybody in the city shooting them off. Sky fireworks are illegal (not in WA) but people do them anyway.

[Kachina26]

Originally posted by MagicMtnDan
Cool stuff but attributing it to George Carlin is Internet folklore according to www.snopes.com
That's kinda what I figured, wasn't Carlin a hippy?

[Sleek-Jet]

Originally posted by Kachina26
That's kinda what I figured, wasn't Carlin a hippy?
I don't think you can put Carlin in any catagory, he's all over the board. :D

[Cheap Thrills]

George Carlin is one of my favs.
"Mickey Mouse's birthday being announced on the television news, as if it's an actual event! I don't give a shit. If I cared about Mickey Mouse's birthday, I'd 've memorized it years ago! I might send him a card: 'Dear Mickey, Happy Birthday. Love, George' I don't do that. 'Why?' Don't give a shit f u c k Mickey Mouse. f u c k him in the ass-hole with a big, rubber dick! Then break it off and beat him with the rest of it. I hope Mickey dies. I do, I hope he God-damn dies. I hope he gets a hold of some tainted cheese and dies, lonely and forgotten behind the baseboard of a soiled bathroom in a poor neighborhood... With his hand in Goofy's pants. Mickey Mouse, no wonder no one in the world takes our country seriously; we waste valuble television time informing our citezens of the age of an imaginary rodent!" -- George Carlin, Things That Piss Me Off
C.T. :wink:

[LASERRAY]

Carlin didn't write this piece? I would entertain that, seeing as how he's a Liberal through and through IMHO. It's still a good piece nonetheless.:cool: