Wednesday Funny

[copperrat20]

On Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking
beer and watching my wife mow the lawn. The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged at this that she came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung." I took a drink from my can of Budweiser, wiped the cold foam from my lips, lifted my darkened Ray ban Sunglasses and stared directly at this nosey neighbor and then calmly replied, "I am. That's why she cuts the
grass.":devil:

[mud duck]

This could not have really happened, right?
If so, did the neighbor lady have a hard attack right there? :D

[copperrat20]

NO-not really or at least I don't think so. :confused:

[dimarcobros]

that is great, I am going to use that.
DMB

[spute]

so me and the wife are at the bar and my wife says to me in a very sarcastic tone "what is that, about 10 or 12 Caronas you've had?" sternly indicating that she thinks i've had enough.
i say "honey, you're absolutley right.... Bartender...gimme a double Jack on the rocks".
dead silence.

[JetBoatRich]

DO I LOOK THAT OLD??
Have you been guilty of looking at others your own age and
thinking...surely I cannot look that
old? You may enjoy this short story.
While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new
dentist, I noticed his
certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a
tall, handsome boy with
the same name had been in my high school class some 30 years ago. Upon
seeing him,
however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired
man with the deeply
lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.
After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local
high school.
"Yes," he replied.
"When did you graduate?" I asked.
He answered, "In 1971. Why?"
"You were in my class!" I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely and then the son of a bitch asked, "What did you
teach?"
hahahahaha I Love it