Selfish people...

[OGShocker]

SUCK!
I have know three people directly, who have committed suicide. Selfish a$$holes!
A close business friend of mine is going through a very nasty divorce. It has lasted longer than the marriage did (two years). I finally talked him into coming out to see us this week so he could un-wind from all the BS in his life. He got into town on Sunday, he has a class to teach here in town for the week. On Friday we were scheduled to go to Havasu for the weekend.
Kev' is an Engineer and works harder than most people I know. This weekend would have done wonders for his soul. Today I get a call, it's Kev'. He slowly, softly tells me, "I can't go this weekend....... My best friend, more like a brother put a gun to his head and killed himself. He called me Sunday and left a voice mail then he called his Mom and did the same. Shortly after that he shot himself".
Am I being cold or am I OK to be pissed? This guy leaves behind a wife and three kids, one is only three months old. All the people left behind will wonder what they could have done. They will blame themselves, that is just human nature. What a selfish PR*CK!
Sorry to bring a downer in to the forum I am just wondering how y'all feel about this.

[Debbolas]

I think it is normal for you to be angry now....after some time passes you will just feel sad. That is so awfull. I'm sorry.:(

[Ntwotrance]

No, you have every right in being angry about it

[dicudmore]

very sorry OG....
didn't meet you this weekend, saw you cruise in and out of op6 and other spots of the lake, will have to hook up and meet ya, patriot brother :D
again sorry, thats just terrible :( :(

[HCS]

That's a real bummer. I had a friend do that. He told one of my
buddies he was going to shoot him self. My buddy said quit talking
about it, just do it. So he did.:(
I guess the only good side is your freind didn't take anyone elses
life with him. I hate it when you hear how someone shot the wife
and kids, then shoots themself.

[chub]

I lost a freind when I was 18. I was mad then. Now I just miss him.
I'm sorry to hear this and will pray for his family and freinds.

[hd&boatrider]

Sorry to hear that....I think it is very selfish. Went thru it a couple of times myself. You never know what one person is thinking though.
I was visiting my Mother one time many years ago and she gets this phone call from one of my siblings. I can kind of overhear the conversation a little bit and they are thinking of driving their car over a cliff. My mom was very upset and I grabbed the phone. I told them to do it and don't call like that to your Mother and hung up on them. It changed that family members life and they became very productive. Now, if it had gone the other way how would I feel about it? Don't know because it did not happen.

[HavasuDreamin']

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. My prayers and condolences go out to his family and friends.

[Kilrtoy]

You have every right to be angry, just don't let yourself become overwhelmed with grief and punish yourself with what if's. That is a very hard thing to deal with....
We wish you the best.....

[eliminatedsprinter]

The way I see it just about the only thing we really own is our life. If he chooses to end it, so be it. If the way he ended it seems selfish, than all those who live on can do is go on with their lives A.S.A.P. and spend a little less time mourning him than they would someone who was unwillingly taken from them. I know this may sound a bit cold, but what other response makes sense? I'll tell you, whenever I hear of a person killing themselves the people I feel the worst for is their mom and dad. Having your child kill themself would have to be devastating. I don't think I could ever leave my son or do that to my mom and dad.

[OGShocker]

Kevin is on his way back to Michigan. He will bury his life long friend and keep going with his life.
I never knew this guy so, I can be mad forever. I am only mad of the selfishness behavior of one effects so many.

[ROZ]

I too agree that suicide is a selfish thing to do, but to feel that it is the only solution has to be the worst possible place in life a person can possibly be.... It's a sad that his kids will be scarred for the remainder of their lives..... :(

[riverbound]

I am one of the ones that was left behind and the anger will probably never go away (19 years now) there will definitely be times of sadness but it is perfectly normal to be angry.

[Scream]

OG, Your anger is warranted, it is a selfish act. We always second guess ourselves whether or not we could have helped or if we were part of the problem. Be strong for Kevin and help to fill that void whenever possible, since he's in the here and now, he'll need you more than ever.
To say it's his life, he can do with it as he pleases is not right, imo, suicide leaves a mark on those left behind that sometimes is permanent.

[summerlove]

Originally posted by riverbound
I am one of the ones that was left behind and the anger will probably never go away (19 years now) there will definitely be times of sadness but it is perfectly normal to be angry.
I too am a survivor of sucide. While it is selfish, I just miss my dad....It's been 15 years and he was my best friend. Left behind four kids and a wife of 38 years for no apparant reason:confused:
While you never get over it, you deal with it. I'm gonna kick his butt when the time comes for me though.....

[Scream]

Originally posted by summerlove
I too am a survivor of sucide. While it is selfish, I just miss my dad....It's been 15 years and he was my best friend. Left behind four kids and a wife of 38 years for no apparant reason:confused:
While you never get over it, you deal with it. I'm gonna kick his butt when the time comes for me though.....
Good for you, everyone needs a good asswhoopin from time to time.

[unleashed]

Understanding suicide is one of the hardest things imaginable. My mom has lost 3 siblings from suicide all from gunshot wounds and several others have tried and failed. I dont know how my mother has held up but she has and I admire her for it. Its hard to put blame anywhere especially if you consider that some people lack certain chemicals(Medical condition) that cause happiness or well being. Alot of times the people that commit suicide never knew in the first place that they had a medical condition. They are caught in a never ending cycle of highs but often there lows are extreme that can spiral into sometimes years of depression. I've done a little reading on the subject to try and understand what my uncles and aunts were thinking but have come to a conclusion that there is no concrete answer. If you are depressed or have freinds that are showing signs of extreme depression you can seek help and even check yourself into a hospital. It wont always be a cure but its a start.
Deano
Unleashedclothing (http://www.unleashedclothing.com) :devil:

[Chris Winn]

hey Mark,
i haven't talked to you in awhile, and i can understand where you are coming from. when i was 11, my grandmother (on my mom's side) lived with us, and she was very depressed. we went out to watch the blue angels perform on august 18th in 85 and when we came home i went in the back yard to find her hanging from one of our trees, still gives me the shudders to this day.
she was a kind and generous person, but her actions were very selfish.
best of luck to you....
Chris

[Kachina26]

By definition, it is selfish because ultimately the solution you choose only benefits yourself. I feel for you, I think Kilrtoy said it best, be angry but don't let it consume you. You have my prayers and condolences.

[ratso]

Being in that situation before myself...if you know someone that is contemplating something like that, you have to take them seriously and let them know that if they ever need to talk that they can call anytime. I have known at least a dozen people that have taken this "route", and selfish or not, you have to have been at that point before yourself to even begin to understand. Some of these people were very close to me, but sadly enough they reached the point of no return. All you can do is be there for them and hope for the best...

[Krazy K]

Back in 7th Grade, there was this kid who just started high school. He was very well liked in middle school and very smart. One day, he was listening to the stereo in the living room with headphones on when his mother comes up behind him and shoots him in the back of the head and then turns the gun on herself.
We never did find out the details of this but it gives me the chills. What would make a parent shoot their child in the back of the head?? I can't even fathom that.
I, on the other hand, have had the barrel in my mouth. That is when I checked myself in to a treatment center. I don't let myself get that bad anymore, I call someone.

[TheEduKATor]

OGShocker,
Being angry is not bad at all. During my 2nd year teaching I had a student who I knew since he was a freshman kill himself in the middle of campus with hundreds of students watching including his girlfriend and brother. The sad thing is he walked into the counseling office and asked to speak to his counselor, his counselor said not now i'm busy. So my student who was upset at the break up with his girlfriend ran around campus with a loaded gun trying to find his girlfriend to kill her. The cops came and the campus was locked down. They tried talking him out of it but he wouldn't listen. He shot himself in the head at 17 years old when his couselor tried to walk towards him. His last words to the counselor were sorry, I'm busy. Turns out he asked the cops to see me but they never informed me for fear of my safety. I was extremely angry at him because he was bright and had a great future ahead of him, but now he will never know how great life could have been if he had the coping skills to get over the break up. Sometimes it's hard to notice the signs when people are calling out for help.