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Basic Rules For Driving In California
1. Turn signals are only in the car because they're required equipment in the 49 other states. A real California driver never uses them because they give away your next move.
2. Forget about leaving a safe distance between you and the car in front of you. If you leave more than 5 feet between your car and the one in front of you, every car on the freeway will try to get in front of you.
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller your chance of getting hit.
4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended.
5. Stay away from any car that looks like it's in disrepair. Californians obsess over the appearance of their cars and always keep them clean. If you see a dirty or damaged car stay away - they're on their way to hitting someone!
6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible.
7. You cannot pass on the left on the freeways. That's where everyone else is. If you want to go faster than the left-lane losers talking on their cell phones use the right lane. Just watch out for the cars entering the freeway because they're making a beeline for the left lane.
8. There are only three speed limits on California freeways:
1. 5MPH - that's the typical speed during the 23-hour long "rush hour" we have everyday here.
2. 50MPH - that's the speed California drivers go in the left lane.
3. 80MPH - that's the speed for the 1 hour a day when there's no traffic.
9. Keep right, pass left is not a law here in California. If the guy in front of you is going too slow, you'll have to pass him on the right and then he'll speed up so you can't get by him. That's a law in California.
10. It is the law in California to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light turns green.
11. Remember that the goal of every California driver is to get there first, by whatever means necessary.
12. In California flipping someone the bird is considered a polite California salute. This gesture should always be returned.
13. The California Highway Patrol's policy is to write people up for speeding during the first two weeks of every month. It doesn't matter how fast you're driving - if you're driving from the 1st to the 15th of the month you're fair game.
14. The worst possible time to drive in California is when it's just starting to rain. Drivers instantly forget anything they know about driving and slow down to 20MPH by panic braking. The second worst time to drive in California is when someone spits out the window and another driver thinks it's raining.
15. 75% of drivers in California do not have car insurance. The law clearly states that you and I must have car insurance but no one else.
16. Consider any car with a Mexican license plate as radioactive - stay far, far away from it. Of course they don't have car insurance but they help everyone out by warning them with their Mexican license plates.
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9. Keep right, pass left is not a law here in California. If the guy in front of you is going too slow, you'll have to pass him on the right and then he'll speed up so you can't get by him. That's a law in California.
Oops, was that you? I was trying to find a CD in the back and didn't want to lose my spot:D
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8. what you talking about? 5mph is max speed here....
other 2 speed limits are a moot point.
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You forgot this one:
If another driver prevents you from breaking the law he must be given the salute....
