Southern Dictionary--way funny chit

[Ziggy]

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to seek a grant designating
Southern slang,
or "Y'allbonics," as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. The
following are excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary.
1) HEIDI - (noun) - Greeting.
2) HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
Usage: "Heidi, Hire yew?"
3) BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow".
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
4) JAWJUH - (noun) - The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and
took it to Lanner."
5) BAMMER - (noun) - The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayam.
Usage: "A tornader jes went thru Bammer an' left
$20,000,00 in improvements."
6) MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck,
and I ain't herd from him in munts."
7) THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
8) BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have anutter bare."
9) IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native."
Usage: "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"
10) RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that
pickup truck my brother
from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
11) ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in
my pickup truck."
12) FAR - (noun) - A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all
in my pickup truck,
that thang's gonna catch far."
13) TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh
don't git a flat tar
in my pickup truck."
14) TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise,
I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in
Paris sometime."
15) RETARD - (verb) - To stop working.
Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."
16) FAT - (noun and verb) - A battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat.
Usage: "You young'uns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup
yuh."
17) RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
18) CHEER - (adverb) - In this place.
Usage: "Jest set that bare rat cheer."
19) FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic.
Usage: "I cuddin't unnerstand a wurd he sed . . . must
be from some
farn country."
20) DID - (adjective) - Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."
21) ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas containing oxygen.
Usage: "He cain't breathe . . . give 'im some are!!"
22) BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that there bob war fence."
23) JEW HERE - (pronoun and verb) - Contraction.
Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job
with that
bob war fence cump'ny?"
24) HAZE - (pronoun and verb) - A contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah . . . haze ignert. He
ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."
25) SEED - (verb) - Past tense of "to see."
Usage: "I ain't never seed Noo Yawk City."
26) VIEW - (verb and pronoun) - contraction.
Usage: "I ain't never seed Noo Yawk City. . . view?"
27) GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."

[MRS FLYIN VEE]

LMAO!! funny thing is.. I use some of them all ready.. kind of scary..

[Debbolas]

I can call my Aunt Pat, talk to her about my Uncle Fats' that passed away, and ask her how my cousin Matt is doing. (all their real names)
My Aunt Cathleen makes the BEST fried chicken..........sigh

[MRS FLYIN VEE]

my mom makes awesome chicken and dumplins.. mmmmmm mmmmmmmmmm goooooooood..

[lghtnin33]

LMAO Ya no it don't git much butter then settin around postin an eatin a poke samich and drinkin bar!

[Debbolas]

My Big Mama, (god rest her soul) made the best sweet tea in the world!!
My Big Daddy, use to hide rubber snakes around the house to scare her, Big Mama was afraid of snakes.
(no they were not big people, it's a southern expression)

[MRS FLYIN VEE]

I like to run around the house nekked.. after doing the warsh..

[Debbolas]

Then do you make supper?

[MRS FLYIN VEE]

Then do you make supper?
of course.. I know you do..

[Debbolas]

Supper, not dinner :wink: