Email from my ex

[spectratoad]

You had an ex??
She turned him into a toadstool.

[Her454]

The more I read this the more angry I get at all the typical male "give him a break" responses.
First of all, NOT ALL women are out to rake men over the coals with child support. Raising kids is expensive, period. The bottom line is, if you have kids and you get a divorce, work it out somehow. If you cant, then let the courts decide per the income of each party. If you are supposed to pay it, then do it. Dont bitch about it, you BOTH have the responsibility.
I know you guys dont give a rats ass what I think, but in my opinion - there is nothing worse than a deadbeat dad thats cruising along out at the lake in a 80K boat with all the bells and whistles and isn't paying his support. On the flip side of that I think alot of guys get screwed with the amounts of money they have to pay in CS and I think its unrealistic for those that have 2 or 3 kids - I dont see how they survive. BUT women that work and bust their ass to support the kids without any support deserve SOMETHING, and for the most part have to fight for any and every little thing they can get. Like I said, I've been fortunate and wouldnt get it anyway but chose not to fight about it. Its not worth it and if I cant survive on what I make then I need to change my way of life. Some women are not as lucky and DO deserve support, minus the constant bullshit excuses that accompany what little they get.

[Jordy]

I know you guys dont give a rats ass what I think
Who told you??? :idea:

[Jbb]

The more I read this the more angry I get at all the typical male responses.
First of all, NOT ALL women are out to rake men over the coals with child support. Raising kids is expensive, period. The bottom line is, if you have kids and you get a divorce, work it out somehow. If you cant, then let the courts decide per the income of each party. If you are supposed to pay it, then do it. Dont bitch about it, you BOTH have the responsibility.
I know you guys dont give a rats ass what I think, but in my opinion - there is nothing worse than a deadbeat dad thats cruising along out at the lake in a 80K boat with all the bells and whistles and isn't paying his support. On the flip side of that I think alot of guys get screwed with the amounts of money they have to pay in CS and I think its unrealistic for those that have 2 or 3 kids - I dont see how they survive. BUT women that work and bust their ass to support the kids without any support deserve SOMETHING, and for the most part have to fight for any and every little thing they can get. Like I said, I've been fortunate and wouldnt get it anyway but chose not to fight about it. Its not worth it and if I cant survive on what I make then I need to change my way of life. Some women are not as lucky and DO deserve support, minus the constant bullshit excuses that accompany what little they get.
Perhaps a cup of tea....and a Xanax to calm your nerves....
ps ....I agree with you...If they are you're responsibility...you should pay...

[Jbb]

Who told you??? :idea:
LMAO....Jordy.....stop hating.....er....educating...

[kanedog]

Sounds like a complete scam. He hangs the bait of buying the kids vehicles. He most likely has a friend that will sell him some beaters or some back room deal that someone owes him. The cars wont be new because the scum cant get any credit anyway so if you are picturing brand new cars, forget it. Picture rusty beaters.
He says he would like your help in doing more for your kids and you have the ability to erase the past due alimony. Scum is using the kids as pawns while trying to tug at your heart strings to erase the alimony.
Only my opinion but buying the kids cars is a mistake anyway as it doesnt teach them the value of a dollar and for the crap he would buy, they are better off buying one for themselves or if you really want them to have a car, buy them one yourself. Also, he is substituting love with material things with the cars and this isnt what the kids need. Buy letting him do this, you would be damaging the kids more as this deal is totally for him and self-fulfilling. Dont fool yourself, he is not thinking about you, only himself.
He cant get credit rt now, he cant buy a car, boat, house or get a credit card and this is good for scum like him. He wants to buy a car now and then promise one in the future, ya right, like thatll ever happen. he also promised the judge he would make alimony pmts and he also his employers he would work for a long time then he up and quits.
The only power you hold now, and will EVER hold over him is the lawsuit. If you thinking of erasing this because of his scamming, lying letter or other ways, you will have no say or any other way of getting what you deserve. Nothing. You might get 50 bucks a month if your lucky. Good for one day of food for teenagers.
The college thing, whatever dude. If he hasnt done anything for a fund now, he never will and never prolly had any intention to, but now if he can get what he wants, he will do it. What a lowlife by using the kids to break you down.
He says he will finance college, ....dude doesnt have a pot to piss in right now and he thinks he can get financing for college. He has quit too many jobs and his past is unstable. He has no collateral for this loan except for an old car, and the bank wont take that. He wouldnt qualify for a anything at any bank. He is flat out lying. Even if he does somehow manage to crawl out of his slimy hole of debt, I guarantee if he can get finacing for something, it will be a nice new car or truck, boat, whatever, but he will be throwing it in your face when get no alimony pmts and you see him driving by you on the way to the lake while you hang with kids at home cuz u have no money to go out.
This proposal of his is 100% for him. Not the kids, not you, him. He has something that he wants financing for right now and they are telling if he gets the lawsiut removed he can nget this item, and as soon as u sign off on the alimony, he will go do it. The first thing he wont do, is fix his old car for xxxxxx.Guaranteed.
I feel it is important to explain to the kids that when daddy promises cars and college but then says their mother was to blame because they didnt get thesesthings, that you explain to them that material things dont constitute love and you are not buying into his game of lies, stories and deceipt and that is one of the reasons you are not together anymore. I guess what I am trying to say is to let them make their own decisions but they need to know the full truth but also not your hate for him as this may confuse the kids. That is if they are old enough to deal with this stuff. If worse comes to worse, which it will if you release the scum from pmts, then they have to get jobs and work and pay for their cars like the rest of the world. Stick to your principles, and picture him with 10 of his scum, divorced, beer drinkin, gambling in debt genius friends hovering over a computer coaching each other on how to write letters to manipulate their exs to forgoing the alimony pmts and lawsuits.
Wow, Im tired after all this. Good luck .

[Boozer]

The more I read this the more angry I get at all the typical male "give him a break" responses.
Maybe if the typical woman wasn't out to screw the typical man the typical male response would be different? I have way to many friends who are paying in some cases as much as $1,000 a month for children they can not even get supervised visitation rights to. If a man is expected to support his child he should be entitled to be just as much a part of that childs life as the mother is. Sadly, the courts dont see it that way and give the woman whatever the hell she wants.
I'm not saying that Allison doesn't give her kids dad the oppurtunity to see his children but rather saying that many fathers get royally screwed and that's why there is a "typical"male response.
I also think that it is complete bullsh*t that women have the upper hand pertaining to the child altogether. The thread I posted not so long ago about needing a private investigator is a good example of a f*cked up situation. When she realized I had the upper hand in the matter and I would take custody of the child from her she had an abortion and I had no say so in the matter whatsoever. That's not right.
So when typical women stop being greedy psychotic b*tches the typical male might just change his attitude too. Again none of my comments are directed towards you or Allison Tracy just directed towards the typical money hungry b*tch who thinks having osmeones child is a great way to make someone they are spiteful towards pay for the rest of their life.

[mbrown2]

IMHO marrage is a bad idea these days. More than half go bad and somebody always gets screwed. I don't need the gov controlling my love life with a contract. If you love somebody that is enough. .02
Marriage is not a bad idea...having kids married or unmarried and then not paying for it is a bad idea...
Funny how folks forget there is a price for everything...
As for the initial thread....I would not have posted it....what response are you looking for...
I would not let him off the hook....his track record is the reason he is hanging by the hook....if he quits his job then he did not care about the kids enough anyway.....

[Rock-A-Bye-Baby]

A couple of thoughts:
1) You shouldn't have put this here. But since you did....here's my .02
2) I am a father of two. I am also the son of divorced parents. If ever something happened between my wife and I, I am still responisble for the two kids we chose to have. More over, it is of my character to ensure that my kids would have the same life as they would if i were living at home. There is absolutely no reason for the kids to suffer any lifestyle distress because I moved out. I am on the hook for half of the education costs, half of the monthly expenses to keep them alive, half of the costs of incidentals, and half the cost of them enjoying as much of a life as WE can afford.
It does not seem to me that you are looking to this guy to support a lifestyle, much the way my mom wasn't looking for my dad to support a lifestyle, yet he nickle and dimed her all the way. My parents have been split for 28 years and it still pisses me off how he did that. And he had the money. I don't think you should let him off the hook but at the same time it doesn't look like you are going to get any of that money. You may want to consider cutting your losses, making a deal, and move on with a program that is best suited for the kids, and one that is achievable given his history of job hopping. For instance, if the guy is a minimum wage worker, there is no point in trying to get 6 figure CS out of him.

[probablecause]

From what I understand, if you are in CA, you cannot forgive that debt.
Correct. He is S.O.L.!