Reasons To Vote For Kerry

[uclahater]

Subject: why vote for Kerry ...
JOB APPLICATION
NAME: John Kerry
RESIDENCE: 7 mansions, including Washington, DC, worth
multimillions.
EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
Law Enforcement. I voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA and
defense bill in my career as a US Senator. I ordered Boston to remove a
fire hydrant which I considered unsightly, in front of my mansion, thereby
endangering my neighbors in the event of fire.
MILITARY:
I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the
military and service in Vietnam (as documented by the attending doctor). I
then returned to the US, joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war, and
insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming they committed atrocities and were
baby killers. I threw my (or someone else's) medals, over the White House
fence in protest. My book; "Vietnam Veterans Against the War: The New
Soldier" shows how I truly feel about the military. I deplore the military!
COLLEGE:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike my
counterpart George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get admitted
to Harvard nor graduate with an M.B.A
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for U.S. Congress and have been there ever since. I have no
real world experience except that of an "opportunist", by marrying a rich
woman and running HJ Heinz vicariously through my wife Teresa.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
As a US Senator I set the record for the most liberal voting record,
exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have consistently failed
to support our military and CIA by voting against budgets, thus gutting our
country's ability to defend itself. Although I voted for the Iraq War, now
I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for it. I voted for every
liberal piece of legislation. I have no plan to help this country but I
intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected.
My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that
he will never catch up. I make no or little charitable contributions and
have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in MA, despite family
wealth in excess of $700 million.
I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in
places like Asia, Mexico and Europe. We can make more profit from the
cheaper cost of labor in those Countries, although blame George Bush for
sending all of the jobs out of Country!!!
Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted
Kennedy and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as it
might spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
None.
PERSONAL
I ride a Serotta Bicycle. ($5,000?)
My Gulfstream V Jet I call The Flying Squirrel.
I call my $850,000 42-foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht the
"Scarmouche."
I am fascinated by "rap" and "hip-hop" and feel it reflects our real
culture!!
I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket
summer mansion, though I am against large polluting inefficient vehicles and
I blame George Bush for the energy problems.
PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.
This is the guy who is against the rich and helping
the poor and the middle class?
If he would donate his $700 million to really help
the poor, then (and only then) would he understand
we the people better because then he would be one of us!

[Second "PLACE"]

Subject: why vote for Kerry ...
JOB APPLICATION
NAME: John Kerry
RESIDENCE: 7 mansions, including Washington, DC, worth
multimillions.
EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
Law Enforcement. I voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA and
defense bill in my career as a US Senator. I ordered Boston to remove a
fire hydrant which I considered unsightly, in front of my mansion, thereby
endangering my neighbors in the event of fire.
MILITARY:
I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the
military and service in Vietnam (as documented by the attending doctor). I
then returned to the US, joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war, and
insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming they committed atrocities and were
baby killers. I threw my (or someone else's) medals, over the White House
fence in protest. My book; "Vietnam Veterans Against the War: The New
Soldier" shows how I truly feel about the military. I deplore the military!
COLLEGE:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike my
counterpart George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get admitted
to Harvard nor graduate with an M.B.A
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for U.S. Congress and have been there ever since. I have no
real world experience except that of an "opportunist", by marrying a rich
woman and running HJ Heinz vicariously through my wife Teresa.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
As a US Senator I set the record for the most liberal voting record,
exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have consistently failed
to support our military and CIA by voting against budgets, thus gutting our
country's ability to defend itself. Although I voted for the Iraq War, now
I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for it. I voted for every
liberal piece of legislation. I have no plan to help this country but I
intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected.
My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that
he will never catch up. I make no or little charitable contributions and
have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in MA, despite family
wealth in excess of $700 million.
I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in
places like Asia, Mexico and Europe. We can make more profit from the
cheaper cost of labor in those Countries, although blame George Bush for
sending all of the jobs out of Country!!!
Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted
Kennedy and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as it
might spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
None.
PERSONAL
I ride a Serotta Bicycle. ($5,000?)
My Gulfstream V Jet I call The Flying Squirrel.
I call my $850,000 42-foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht the
"Scarmouche."
I am fascinated by "rap" and "hip-hop" and feel it reflects our real
culture!!
I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket
summer mansion, though I am against large polluting inefficient vehicles and
I blame George Bush for the energy problems.
PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.
This is the guy who is against the rich and helping
the poor and the middle class?
If he would donate his $700 million to really help
the poor, then (and only then) would he understand
we the people better because then he would be one of us!
ANYBODY care to argue that?
BEAUMONT for BUSH'04

[eliminatedsprinter]

Intellectual honesty demands that we point out that the above is one sided, omits many of his positives (yes he does have a few), and contains some semantic inaccuracies. Nevertheless, it is essentially accurate in it's gist and well stated.
Good job.

[058]

Intellectual honesty demands that we point out that the above is one sided, omits many of his positives (yes he does have a few), and contains some semantic inaccuracies. OK...like what?

[eliminatedsprinter]

OK...like what?
If you are asking about the semantic inaccuracies. One example is that it mentions his degree from Yale, then it says he has no higher education. It should have said he had no post graduate education.
If you are asking about his positives. Well lets see..Hmmm, he has good height. :wink: He is a skilled debater. And he has obviously worked hard to get as far in life as he has. 20+ years in congress takes a little more brains than flipping burgers. If you get the idea that I'm splitting hairs and being trivial, that's only because I am. Like I said, it is true in it's gist and I like it. But I am a fair man and I am willing to give the devil his due.