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Thread: ????? not boat related but someone help

  1. #1
    robt
    Ok my ?? is early this week i had to take the wife in for a biopsy(i dont think that spelling is right where is the spell check button) after she gets done we head home as we pull up our street is filled with fire trucks and our house was burning we are still not sure what we lost as they are trying to clean all the smoke and water damage but my wife broke down and lost it the girl has gone through more than i can ever wish on one person in a life time in 3 months in june her brother was killed in a car crash almost a month later her grandfather passed away from tyroid cancer then she starts not feeling well and being tired all the tim and goes to the docter and they tell her she needs to have a biopsy so we go to that and come home to our house on fire
    how much can one person take?
    well my ?? are 1 the ins company has not done anything but put us up in a hotel we had to go out and buy all the stuff you need for daily life for me her and my 4 year old and 1 year old that amounts to alot of cash plus eating out we are getting strapped and are normal bills are still coming in
    2 is she is not herself and i cant think of anything to say other than it will all work out she is kinda in her own little world she wants nothing to do with anyone even her kids her work put her off on paid leave as they say she cannot work with all the stress in her life and her job and the big dummy i am i cannot make her understand all will work out
    anyone else ever gone trough anything like this
    rob

  2. #2
    dicudmore
    is all I can really think to say
    Keep in mind your ***boat friends will have you in their thoughts and prayers

  3. #3
    Garrddogg
    AH MAN, I'm sorry all that has happned to you and your family you will be in my thoughts and prayers!!
    Good luck,all will work out.easy to say ,harder to live!
    Where are you guys at?
    Force 26

  4. #4
    91nordic29
    GOSH. THAT IS JUST TOO MUCH ALRIGHT!oops
    keep in mind that there really isnt much you can say to make her feel better but being there with her will make all the difference. try to explain to the kids that everything will be okay and that mom is just having a rough time. and remember the kids are probably terrified. i am sure that you are too.
    there are alot of firefighters/medics/LEOs on the boards and i hope that they will read this as i am sure that they would be able to refer you to some very helpful resources. where do you live?
    our thoughts and prayers are with your family
    cindy

  5. #5
    Outnumbered
    Sorry to hear about all this. Always seems like all the bad stuff hapens at once.
    I remember running through my house after we snuck back past the police road blocks when the fires were heading toward Lake Arrowhead (it was evacuated when we were in Phoenix looking at houses). We only had an hour or so to take what we thought we would need. I don't think you realize how much you take for granted until you lose all you stuff or walk out of your house knowing that you may come back in a day or two to a pile of ashes.
    All I can say is lean on your family or your church right now. Don't be ashamed, they will understand. Also, call your insurance and demand some kind of advance. You should have some loss of use coverage that they can advance a little bit on until they finish the adjusting process. I remember most of the insurance companies were issuing $2000 no questions asked after the fires last October.
    Hang in there. Be thankful your family was not home when it burned and try to stay positive as hard as it may be.
    John
    AKA OL

  6. #6
    LHC30Victory
    We wish for your family that you didn't have to go through this. I can only imagine having to deal with all of that so close together. You seem to be holding up OK, but make sure your reactions aren't delayed - it will be reasonable and normal for you to behave the same after awhile - so take care!
    Your wife needs counseling to help put her losses in perspective. You are too close and probably not trained to handle this. I believe your job right now is to "keep the lights on" type of family maintenance and be there for support (hence the warning of delayed reactions). Help the kids put things in a positive perspective and show them how do deal constructively with adversity otherwise, they will be lacking the tools necessary in their lives.
    If ya wanna talk, pm me for a phone number. Gibbons has it if ya cant get ahold of me and I can always be found through Powdercoat plus in Havasu. I may be able to find some resources for that counseling in So Cal.
    Ted.

  7. #7
    robt
    GOSH. THAT IS JUST TOO MUCH ALRIGHT!oops
    keep in mind that there really isnt much you can say to make her feel better but being there with her will make all the difference. try to explain to the kids that everything will be okay and that mom is just having a rough time. and remember the kids are probably terrified. i am sure that you are too.
    there are alot of firefighters/medics/LEOs on the boards and i hope that they will read this as i am sure that they would be able to refer you to some very helpful resources. where do you live?
    our thoughts and prayers are with your family
    cindy
    Thank you all for your kind words, cindy we live in Bloomington Il
    i found this site through google i was looking for a boater ed course as we are kinda new to boating and this site came up after i looked around for awhile i joined and have had a blast since the start you all are great and thank you all for yours prayers in our time of need
    Rob

  8. #8
    Dribble
    Tell her that you are in this together and that you will get through it together. You will both emerge stronger and your relationship will be stronger as a result.
    And by all means hang in there.

  9. #9
    Mrs.Racer277
    I can't imagine what your wife is going thru right now. I would be devistated also. Hang in there. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

  10. #10
    racecar.hotshoe
    I would get your wife some help.Things in life are not always nice.The house thing while not fun its all materal things not hard to replace.But the love of a mom to her children is priceless.The kids feel this tension,You must be strong,The family glue as such.My prayers go out to your family.Dont let your wife go down.I have been there it blows.......

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