Reply With QuoteThank you for that Frank. Clearly you can see we mean business here.
On behalf of Jones, Jones and Jones, I would like to make known the intended charges in the lawsuit being brought by Dirk Jones Jr, Dirk Jones Sr, Jim Anderson, and a long list of John Does who are currently being sought out to join in the class action suit for posting equality.
The complaint is as follows:
I need to tell you a little about how ***boat Forum
Patrons justifie their offensive nature by denying that
some of its apostles once admitted -- after
considerable tergiversation -- that yes, ***boat Forum
Patrons have secretly plotted to engender ill will. And
so I shall. For complete details, I refer you to my
forthcoming lawsuit on the subject. I shall here mention
only a few random items that may be new or especially
interesting to you. For instance, I, not being one of
the many self-indulgent scatterbrains of this world,
have no idea why it makes such a big fuss over
posting pictures. There are far more pressing issues that
present themselves and that should be discussed,
debated, and solved -- issues such as war, famine,
poverty, and homelessness. There is also the lesser
issue that I once had a nightmare in which ***boat
Forum Patrons was free to malign and traduce me. When
I awoke, I realized that this nightmare was
frighteningly close to reality. For instance, I cannot
believe how many actual, physical, breathing, thinking
people have fallen for ***boat Forum Patrons's
subterfuge. I'm thoroughly stunned.
I use such language purposefully -- and somewhat
sardonically -- to illustrate how I want nothing more
-- or less -- than to help you reflect and reexamine
your views on ***boat Forum Patrons. To that task I
have consecrated my life, and I invite you to do
likewise. Some will say I exaggerate, but, actually,
I'm being quite lenient. I didn't mention, for
example, that if we don't soon tell ***boat Forum
Patrons to stop what they're doing, they will proceed with
their wily disquisitions, considerably emboldened by our
lack of resistance. We will have tacitly given ***boat
Forum Patrons our permission to do so. In ***boat
Forum Patrons's surrogates' rush to join the crowd,
they failed to observe that ***boat Forum Patrons's
reasoning is circular and therefore invalid. In other
words, it always begins an argument with its
conclusion (e.g., that a book of its writings would be
a good addition to the Bible) and therefore -- not
surprisingly -- it always arrives at that very
conclusion.
In these days of political correctness and the
changing of how history is taught in schools to
fulfill a particular agenda, ***boat Forum Patrons are
completely mistaken if they believe that backwards oafs
have dramatically lower incidences of cancer, heart
attacks, heart disease, and many other illnesses than
the rest of us. Next time, ***boat Forum Patrons, you
may want to check your facts correctly. ***boat Forum
Patrons are mythmakers, illusion builders, or to put
it less politely, tricksters. I kid you not. Have you
ever stopped to consider the enormous havoc and ruin
that has been wrought in this world by ***boat Forum
Patrons and their buddies? I have. That's why I say that
some of us have an opportunity to come in contact with
sententious, pigheaded blusterers on a regular basis
at work or in school. We, therefore, may be able to
gain some insight into the way they think, into their
values; we may be able to understand why they want to
put the gods of heaven into the corner as obsolete and
outmoded and, in their stead, burn incense to the idol
Mammon.
***boat Forum Patrons's responses to my attempts to
lead the way to the future, not to the past, generally
involve crying, whining, and wrapping itself in a
self-protecting mantle of superiority. I know because
I have experienced that personally. ***boat Forum
Patrons wants nothing less than to flush all my hopes
and dreams down the toilet. Its forces then wonder,
"What's wrong with that?" Well, there's not much to be
done with self-righteous con artists who can't figure
out what's wrong with that, but the rest of us can
plainly see that one of ***boat Forum Patrons's
favorite tricks is to create a problem and then to
offer the solution. Naturally, it's always its
solutions that grant it the freedom to push all of us
to the brink of insanity, never the original problem.
For heaven's sake, if we are to act honorably, then we
must be guided by a healthy and progressive ideology,
not by the bleeding-heart and detestable ideologies
that ***boat Forum Patrons promotes. Although everyone
has goals, ***boat Forum Patrons's goal seems to be to
make pessimism socially acceptable. I have taken the
liberty of letting ***boat Forum Patrons know that a
central fault line runs through each of its Ponzi
schemes. Specifically, we've all heard it yammer and
whine about how it's being scapegoated again, the poor
dear. Finally, any one of the points I made in this
letter could be turned into a complete research paper,
but the conclusion of each would be the same: ***boat
Forum Patrons are quixotic -- maybe "intrusive" would
be a more applicable adjective.
This has only begun.
Thank you for your time, attention, and anticipated cooperation. :hammer2:
Frank Jones, Esquire.
Jones, Jones, and Jones.
Attorneys at Law.
Thank you for that Frank. Clearly you can see we mean business here.
Lake Pirate's Back!
breaking news
C.N.N has just reported that a possible landmark case has been filed today and that this case could define the future of internet message boards. the lawsuit (jones/anderson v. ***boat forums.com) could help define how the 1st,3rd and 7th amendments apply to the internet.
it was reported that doris anderson jones esq. of the lawfirm jones jones and jones would spearhead the case for the defendants jim anderson (her x husband), dirk jones jr. (her retarded illegitimate son) and dirk jones sr.( the guy that pays alimony to jim anderson as they were once married also)
more updates will follow as this landmark case unfolds!
Now Thats Saying A Mouthfull Thats Some Of The Best Internet Gibberish Ive Ever Heard!!
update on anderson,jones v. ***boat.com
it would appear the stakes have been raised considerably as frank jones esq. (brother of doris jones esq. and genetic father of dirk jones jr.) has joined the defense team in this landmark case!
Lake Pirate's Back!
Who is Lake Pirate? Should he be named in the lawsuit as well? Or did he get kicked off the boards and needs to be added to the pending class action list in place of one of the John Does to be named?
Oh he should definatly be on the list of plaintiffs. Would probably want to 2nd chair the whole proceedings.
cnn investigative reporters have discovered that dirk jones jr owns a sheep ranch in the san juaquin valley and that on a visit to the ranch frank jones esq. and dirk jr came upon a sheep with her head stuck in the fence. dirk jr immediately dropped his pants and had sex with the trapped sheep. after finishing he turned to his uncle(and father) frank and proudly exclaimed ' you're turn uncle frank" at which time frank jones dropped his pants and stuck his head in the fence!
update on anderson, jones v. ***boat.com
***boat parent co. flynt publications has entered the battle to defend ***boat forums .com. larry flynt told cnn investigative reporters that he has discovered a picture of doris jones esq. (mother of dirk jr, x wife of jim anderson, current wife of dirk sr. and sex toy of brother frank jones)
drinking semen from a martini glass while posing naked. flynt said the picture was submited for the beaver hunt section of hustler magazine but was never published due to the appearance of mrs. jones body and face. he commented that this could be very important to the case as it proves that dirk jr has a genetic propensity to show himself in public.
in response to this, frank jones esq. responded that he filled the glass and took the picture but that was in their college days and it should not be used in this case. frank jones esq. also stated that his sister doris was sick at the time and he was just giving her a dose of 'penis ilin' to help her with the infection. no one will admit how the picture was submited to hustler magazine but the envelope was addresed in crayon and dirk jr was 9 at the time of submision giving creedence to his long standing propensity to see himself and his family naked in public.
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