Ever place a personal ad?

[HCS]

How To Decipher Personals Ads
WOMEN'S ADS:
40-ish...................... 49
Adventurer.................. Slept with all your friends
Athletic.................... No tits
Average looking............. Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful................... Pathological liar
Contagious Smile............ Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated.................... Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure.......... Medicated
Feminist.................... Fat ballbuster
Free spirit................. Junkie
Friendship first............ Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun......................... Annoying
Gentle...................... Comatose
Good Listener...............Borderline Autistic
New-Age..................... All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned............... Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded................. Desperate
Outgoing.................... Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate.................. Sloppy drunk
Poet........................ Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional................ Certified Bitch
Redhead..................... Bad dye-job(not me of course)
Reubenesque................. Grossly Fat
Romantic.................... Looks better by candle light
Social...................... Has been passed around like an hors doeurve tray
Voluptuous.................. Very Fat
Weight proportion w/ height. Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate.............. Stalker
Widow....................... Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart.............. Old bat
MEN'S ADS:
40-ish................ 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic.............. Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking....... Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated.............. Will patronize the shit out of you
Free Spirit........... Banging your sister
Friendship first...... As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun................... Good with a remote and a six pack
Very good looking..... Dumb as a board
Honest................ Pathological Liar
Huggable.............. Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle....... Insecure mama's boy
Mature................ Older than your father
Open-minded........... Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit........ Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet.................. Wrote ex-girlfriend's # on a bathroom stall
Sensitive............. Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive........ Gay
Spiritual............. Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable................ Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful............ Says "Excuse me" when he farts

[Her454]

What an enlightening day.
I've learned that I'm almost 49 and a non athletic", Pathological liar who does alot of ecstasy . I banged my Political Science Professor but keep myself medicated to get over it. Im a borderline, Autistic, annoying, junkie who is also a loud & embarassing sloppy drunk.
A certified Bitch who looks better by candlelight and has been passed around like a hors doeurve tray and getting fatter by the day who seeks a stalker.
Go figure.
Makes me glad I never placed that ad..............

[Jrocket]

LMAO

[bocco]

What an enlightening day.
I've learned that I'm almost 49 and a non athletic", Pathological liar who does alot of ecstasy . I banged my Political Science Professor but keep myself medicated to get over it. Im a borderline, Autistic, annoying, junkie who is also a loud & embarassing sloppy drunk.
A certified Bitch who looks better by candlelight and has been passed around like a hors doeurve tray and getting fatter by the day who seeks a stalker.
Go figure.
Makes me glad I never placed that ad..............
But you do have a boat!!!

[Unforgiven]

What an enlightening day.
I've learned that I'm almost 49 and a non athletic", Pathological liar who does alot of ecstasy . I banged my Political Science Professor but keep myself medicated to get over it. Im a borderline, Autistic, annoying, junkie who is also a loud & embarassing sloppy drunk.
A certified Bitch who looks better by candlelight and has been passed around like a hors doeurve tray and getting fatter by the day who seeks a stalker.
Go figure.
Makes me glad I never placed that ad..............
I'll take you as you are!!!

[Her454]

But you do have a boat!!!
I'll take you as you are!!!
............You just want my boat.................. :cry:

[HCS]

Lets see...
I'm 52 looking for 25 year olds, watch NASCAR.
Will patronize the shit out of you.
Good with a remote and a six pack.
Dumb as a board.
Pathological liar.
I sleep with your room mate.
Do 12 ounce curls.
Cry at fat chicks.
Got laid and the cemetery.
Oh. And excuse me.

[Unforgiven]

............You just want my boat.................. :cry:
want your boat?? you got the blower and the new boat....what else do you want???

[Her454]

Lets see...
I'm 52 looking for 25 year olds, watch NASCAR.
Will patronize the shit out of you.
Good with a remote and a six pack.
Dumb as a board.
Pathological liar.
I sleep with your room mate.
Do 12 ounce curls.
Cry at fat chicks.
Got laid and the cemetery.
Oh. And excuse me.
I'd fall in love with you but Im prone to the stalker type Tom.

[Her454]

want your boat?? you got the blower and the new boat....what else do you want???
Got a dog? :wink: Im looking for a good German Shepherd.................