How would you handle this situation?

[Mrs. Bordsmnj]

A friend of mine just called me and told me her 12-yr old daughter just busted her and found her stash of wacky tobacky! Now, the 12 yr old didn't take it or try it or anything, she is just crushed to discover her mom, in her eyes, is a junky and that she doesn't like her or trust her anymore. :argue:
How can ya dig your way out of that one? :hammerhea

[Tremor Therapy]

That is extra sticky.....but once she had kids she should have quit! Because now her talk the talk, walk the walk parent stuff is just that......bullshit!
But as a positive, maybe she can illicit her daughters help in trying to rid herself of this habit? Sitting with her daughter, talking it out, and involving her in "the plan" to clean up her act, might make the daughter feel as if she is taking a responsible role in helping with family matters. It may even help to bring them closer, and be able to discuss this types of tricky things a lot easier in the future! :idea:

[jdogginla]

When I was about that age..........I found my mom's stash, took a lil and sold it at school. I never smoked it, and never have, but I remember get'n in trouble for it..........her demanding where I got it from, her saying how wrong it was!!@$ I said go check your box in the closet you hypocrite. Then she started telling me that it was for adults, and if used and not abused it was ok.........LOL :hammerhea

[SoCalOffshore]

I think parents need to set a higher standard.

[Mrs. Bordsmnj]

But as a positive, maybe she can illicit her daughters help in trying to rid herself of this habit? Sitting with her daughter, talking it out, and involving her in "the plan" to clean up her act, might make the daughter feel as if she is taking a responsible role in helping with family matters. It may even help to bring them closer, and be able to discuss this types of tricky things a lot easier in the future! :idea:
that was exactly my advice too. Get her daughter involved is her "recovery" so to speak.
Man, what a drag. Especially since a 12 yr old is on the verge of hitting the terrible teens. The mom is hoping she doesn't use this as ammo.

[HOOTER SLED-]

Time for hits from the bong!! :rollside:

[FMluvswater]

My mom never hid her habit from me. I knew the rules: what goes on at home stays at home. I feel bad for the daughter. Disillusionment hurts. Guess the mom has a choice to make: either quit smoking the stuff or don't even bother with apologies, justifications etc she won't be taken seriously anyway. The daughter will have to adjust to the new knowledge she has either way.

[Kim Hanson]

Mary Jane isn't that strong of a drug either, I quit when the girls came into play and don't miss it at all..............( . )( . )........It's me crutch and don't take it away, I walk with a slit limp now but its worth it's worth it to bring them up in a drug free enviroment. :chi:

[Tom Brown]

How can ya dig your way out of that one? :hammerhea
That's a tough dig since there's no honest way to handle it that doesn't involve admitting drug use to the child.
Personally, I'd be honest. I think lying to a family member is pretty low and the 12 year olds I know are way more perceptive than most give them credit for. We love our kids regardless of their flaws. Maybe your friend should trust her child to keep loving her, flaws and all.

[ECeptor]

I think parents need to set a higher standard.
Ditto!