Decoding Women's Personal Ads & M & F english

[Krazy K]

40-ish.............................................49
Adventurous.................................Slept with everyone
Athletic.......................................... No tits
Average looking..........................Moooo
Beautiful.......................................Pa thological liar
Emotionally Secure......................On medication
Feminist.......................................... Fat
Free spirit....................................Junkie
Friendship first..........................Former slut
New-Age......! ..............................Body hair in the wrong places
Old-fashioned.............................No BJs
Open-minded.................................Desperate
Outgoing........................................Lo ud and Embarrassing
Professional....................................Bi tch
Voluptuous...................................Very Fat
Large frame.................................Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
Lotsa Luck,
Dr. Phil

[dbddbd]

hilarious K, lol, I suppose there will be a feminine response :smile:

[looky_lou]

Seems pretty accurate to me. :messedup:

[Dawn Patrol]

Yep, That pretty much sums it up.

[mikensue]

sounds about right,what's your point?

[Ion]

Let's not forget "a few pounds overweight". We all know this means we're talking about 10 lbs of sausage in a 5 lb. wrapper!

[missboatnam1]

:mix: :mix: :mix:
im so confused

[73kona455]

looks totally correct :shift: :shift: :shift:

[wiskvp]

Looks right to me

[Kim Hanson]

:mix: :mix: :mix:
im so confused Does this clear it up Tina........( . )( . ).........
Mom's Survival Tips
Don't sweat your every mistake or faux pas. They make up for the things you got away with that nobody knows about.
Avoid marrying anyone who deliberately flushes the toilet when you're taking a shower.
When someone tells you that what he's about to say is "for your own good," expect the worst.
The value of a dog is its constant reminder of how much fun it is to act idiotic.
If you are lavishly praised, enjoy the taste but don't swallow it whole.
When a politician says, "let me make something perfectly clear, remember that he usually won't.
You children may leave home, but their stuff will be in your attic and basement forever.
If someone says, "I know what I mean, but I just can't put it into words," he doesn't know what he means.
Two people cannot operate a TV remote control in the same room at the same time.
Don't waste time trying to be your own best friend. You can't pat yourself on the back, and it's unsatisfying to cry on your own shoulder. Find a real friend instead.