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Thread: Dear God - From The Dog

  1. #1
    FMluvswater
    Dear God - From The Dog:
    Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom,
    if ever, smell one another?
    Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your
    couch? Or is it still the same old story?
    Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar,
    the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the
    rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see
    a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it
    be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler
    Beagle"?
    Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest
    and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
    Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal
    instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers,
    scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight
    paths. What do humans understand?
    Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
    Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there
    are, will I have to apologize?
    Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the
    things I must remember - to be a good dog.
    1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it
    or after they throw it up.
    2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.,
    just because I like the way they smell.
    3. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.. neither are laps.
    4. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
    5. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
    6. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches
    in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
    7. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear
    when he's on the toilet
    8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm
    under the coffee table.
    9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
    entering the house - not after.
    10. I will not throw up in the car.
    11. I will not come in from outside and immediately
    drag my butt.
    12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with
    him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
    And, finally, My last question . .
    Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles
    back?

  2. #2
    hoolign
    Ohhhhh...that was good!! that's got my fricken dog all over it!.."cat as a squeek toy" ... It sounds soooooo...like a dog!

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    10,871
    Thats a good one FM, lmao

  4. #4
    FMluvswater
    Thats a good one FM, lmao
    To be honest, you're the first person I thought of when I read it, Mike. I figured the many other dog owners and lovers here would appreciate it also. :smile:

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    10,871
    FM there were several of those passages that rang "close to home". lol
    In particular...
    Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
    Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your
    couch? Or is it still the same old story?
    I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.,
    just because I like the way they smell.
    I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
    entering the house - not after.
    I will not come in from outside and immediately
    drag my butt.

  6. #6
    FMluvswater
    FM there were several of those passages that rang "close to home". lol
    In particular...
    Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
    Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your
    couch? Or is it still the same old story?
    I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.,
    just because I like the way they smell.
    I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
    entering the house - not after.
    I will not come in from outside and immediately
    drag my butt.

    LMAO! Too funny!

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