Dear God - From The Dog:
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom,
if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your
couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar,
the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the
rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see
a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it
be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler
Beagle"?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest
and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal
instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers,
scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight
paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there
are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the
things I must remember - to be a good dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it
or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.,
just because I like the way they smell.
3. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.. neither are laps.
4. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
5. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
6. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches
in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
7. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear
when he's on the toilet
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm
under the coffee table.
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
entering the house - not after.
10. I will not throw up in the car.
11. I will not come in from outside and immediately
drag my butt.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with
him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
And, finally, My last question . .
Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles
back?