Ever say something you wish you could immediately take back? Here's some examples..... LMAO
FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word...he knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After rowsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never lets me forget.
FOURTH TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing & I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.
LAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any...a true story... We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
Those are funny. I do it all the time, usually offending someone. I have a knack for pi$$ing people off.
LMAOgood Tuesday morning humor
Those are funny. I do it all the time, usually offending someone. I have a knack for pi$$ing people off.
LMAO... I'll NEVER forget standing in line at one of our early Boat Bashes waiting for the BBQ - and I asked the lady in front of me "when her baby was due"? She snapped back at me all pissed off, "IM NOT PREGNANT". I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. Then of course her husband started being a d*ck to her saying she needed to quit wearing that maternity crap and start working out (she was wearing a maternity shirt) and MY husband told me I needed to think before I opened my mouth next time........ and I've never asked anyone that since. :hammer2: :jawdrop:
I had that happen to me. I was not wearing a maternity outfit. After that I went back to tight jeans and tight shirts. lol
I was once in a store and ran into an old friend of the family. My daughter, about 3 years old, in the shopping cart. While talking to this friend my daughter reaches up and grabs my boobs and pats them :jawdrop: . Boy I turned red :redface: , but the friend said it has happened to her with her grandkids. So it was all well.
I called on a customer for years the girl there was as skinny as a rail. About six months later I went in to see them. I was in the design department with six male designers standing around me, and this same girl walked in. She was still skinny all over except below her belly button, it looked like she had a grape fruit in her belly, :jawdrop: So I said it!! When are you do? :hammer2: Response was Im not pregnant!!! :squiggle: As all the designers started laughing. I felt so bad. :frown:
yes i won't even comment on the title -as i may continue to have a bad rap
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