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Thread: Beer

  1. #1
    Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed.
    Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery
    and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they
    might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It
    is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be
    selfish and worry about my liver.
    ~Babe Ruth
    I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
    morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
    ~Lyndon B. Johnson
    When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
    ~Paul Hornung
    24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.
    Coincidence? I think not.
    ~H. L. Mencke
    When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When
    we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to
    heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
    ~George Bernard Shaw
    Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
    ~Benjamin Franklin
    Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
    beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but
    the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
    ~Dave Barry
    ~W. C. Fields
    Remember, "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
    ~~Professor Irwin Corey
    To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group." Salvation in a can!
    ~~Leo Durocher
    This is the best one:
    One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory" to
    his buddy Norm: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo
    can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is
    hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed
    first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because
    the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the
    regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the
    human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.
    Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But
    naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In
    this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain
    cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's
    why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

  2. #2
    I'll drink to that!
    ~~ 9er

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