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Thread: Fathers rights question?

  1. #1
    Cole
    I am having a hard time with the X (imagine that) in reguards to having my boys Connor 3, and Cole 5 yrs old for the summer
    We have planned a two week vacation with my family and friends, which includes...Bass lake, lake Tohoe, and lake Shasta. These are places that I have been going since I was their age and want to start traditions with them.
    She is telling me...."NO" !!! :frown: :frown:
    I see my boys every other weekend and have not been having a hard time with her...untill now!!
    I DO NOT have joint custody and have not persued it because she has been good with letting me see them....I want to put my foot down on this because I really want them for the summer..(two weeks)
    Do I have grounds to stand on because I don't have joint custody?
    Or do I need to go for joint custody???
    I just want them to experience the places that I did growing up!!!
    Thanks, Cole

  2. #2
    Her454
    I am having a hard time with the X (imagine that) in reguards to having my boys Connor 3, and Cole 5 yrs old for the summer
    We have planned a two week vacation with my family and friends, which includes...Bass lake, lake Tohoe, and lake Shasta. These are places that I have been going since I was their age and want to start traditions with them.
    She is telling me...."NO" !!! :frown: :frown:
    I see my boys every other weekend and have not been having a hard time with her...untill now!!
    I DO NOT have joint custody and have not persued it because she has been good with letting me see them....I want to put my foot down on this because I really want them for the summer..(two weeks)
    Do I have grounds to stand on because I don't have joint custody?
    Or do I need to go for joint custody???
    I just want them to experience the places that I did growing up!!!
    Thanks, Cole
    JOINT CUSTODY in my opinion is a must. There will always be things in their lives that you may not agree on and its smart to have the legal backup that states you have your say in these matters.
    Shared custody is never easy in any situation and I wish you the best.....

  3. #3
    tamalewagon
    You're answering your own question Cole. If your ex-wife is being difficult and won't let you see the children outside of every other weekend, then you need to pursue joint custody of the children. Without knowing the complete details, it sounds as if you do not have any legal grounds to stand on at this point. Hope it works out for you.

  4. #4
    bunny 166
    I'm so sorry you're going through this....you sound like a great Dad. Get a lawyer who will look out for your best interests. Good luck to you.... :clover: :clover:

  5. #5
    Deano
    It sounds like she had her head on straight at one point. Why dont you contact an Attorney and maybe have him draft a letter to her stating that you intend on going after joint or even full w/support physical custody.
    She might see all the legal fees and possible loss of her children to you and start cooperating. probably only cost you 300.00, unless she says "bring it on Biatch".

  6. #6
    Wally_Gator
    The attorney is a must as others have pointed out.
    It is a shame that ego's (read hers) gets in the way here.
    What is important is the kids and both of your connections to them.
    Just keep this in mind when taking any action, be above board and
    dot your I's and cross your T's.

  7. #7
    NoCal NoBoat
    Cole -
    It wouldn't hurt to consult an attorney, just to explore your options.
    Everybody's situation is different, and your mileage may vary.
    I asked for joint legal/joint physical custody. It worked out well for me for 14 years.
    Among other things, it clarified the "mom's house, dad's house" schedule, and
    established, on record, the approximate amount of time I was spending with my daughter. This is very important in California, because the "dissomaster"
    (the software that determines who pays who how much in child support) considers percentage of time spent with the child in the computation.
    For example, I was willing to pay any reasonable amount of child support.
    Her mother argued in court that my percentage of time spent was too high. My attorney pointed out to the court that she spent 24/7 with me at least two weeks a year on family vacations, and I coached her soccer team for the past several years. The court saw it my way.
    It also helped me stay connected to my daughter. My ex-wife, the custodial parent, could live wherever she wanted as long as she remained within the 9
    counties around the San Francisco Bay Area. She chose to stay local, and my daughter always lived within 10 minutes of my home.
    It's helpful to be able to tell your child's teachers and doctors that you have joint legal/joint physical custody. It can facilitate conversations and decision making.

  8. #8
    lucky
    you can go to family law at your local court - and re file - for a 180 bucks and shoot for 50/50 custody - make sure your kids have medical / dental and be civil and it will work out nicley for you - and alot cheaper ! family law will help with negotiations

  9. #9
    topless
    You don't need 50/50 custody to get to take YOUR children on vacation. What do the court papers say about visitation? When I got divorced, mine said he gets them for 2 weeks in the summer. Good luck

  10. #10
    haulina29
    Why do you not have joint custody typicaly in California in a divorce the custody reads joint legal and sole custody "to whom ever they reside for the school year etc " with visitation being stated . I went thru this crap and dont miss it one bit. If I was you I would just take them youll be back before anybody could do a damn thing about it .

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